Private to John Mcclane for H&M

[island_juliet]

When Juliet shows up at John and Erica's, Jonah is asleep over her shoulder and she's carrying his portable crib with two bags over her shoulder. She's mostly in a daze, just needing to get somewhere she knows the baby will be looked after if she has a melt down. But she also knows she can't let it get to the point it was last year

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[yippiekiyaymf]

John answers the door, and practically pulls her inside. He wraps her, both of them, up in a big hug.

"I'm so sorry." He squeezes gently, then steps back, and takes the bags from her shoulder.

"Have a seat.Erica will be home soon."

[island_juliet]

Juliet nods, just sort of...numb, and sits, holding onto Jonah after she puts the crib down, like she's afraid he's going to disappear too.

"I don't understand why this keeps happening..."

The island, getting him, dying, getting him back, losing him, getting him back, losing him. She closes her eyes tightly, wincing as if in pain.

[yippiekiyaymf]

John sets up the crib, and sits beside her.

"Of course you don't, because it's bullshit." The words were vulgar, but the tone gentle.

[island_juliet]

"I don't want him to come back again. Because it's one thing to do this to me, but I can't...I can't watch Jonah go through this when he's old enough to realize and know what's happening."

She covers her face with one hand and holds Jonah against her with the other.

[yippiekiyaymf]

"Yeah, I know." It was the thing they all faced, people who had kids here, worrying how long they'd be able to be with them.

[island_juliet]

"And here I was, dumb enough to believe that this fucking village really did let dead people stay together."

She's thinking of Laura and Joslire now.

"It's not a matter of if it'll happen. Just when."

[yippiekiyaymf]

John hadn't thought James was dead, but that was a quibble.

"There's no security, for anybody." That was the important point.

[island_juliet]

Erica comes home a few minutes later, a grocery bag of ice cream, brownies, and general comfort food in her hands that she unloads in the kitchen before coming to the living room and sitting on the other side of John. Reaching out, she rubs her back lightly.

"However long you need to stay," she says softly, looking at John to affirm.

[yippiekiyaymf]

He looks at Erica, letting his gratitude show.

"Yeah. As long as you need." He looks at Erica.

"I've been trying to talk her into you guys sharing the bed."

[island_juliet]

Juliet immediately interrupts. "No. I need to be out here with Jonah, and Erica needs uninterrupted sleep."

Erica shakes her head. "It's okay. If anything, I wake up four times a night to pee anyway. This kid uses my bladder as a bouncy house."

Juliet still shakes her head a little. "I'm not interrupting the time you get to spend alone."

[yippiekiyaymf]

"Jonah should be in the room, where he won't get drafts when people get up at oh god hundred to walk the dogs and go jogging. So you should be in there with him."

[island_juliet]

Juliet just rests her head against Jonah's gently. "Then I promise I won't stay long. I'm gonna have to get used to him not being here anyway."

[yippiekiyaymf]

"How long is too long, for something like this?" He looks over at Erica. He can't even imagine.

[island_juliet]

Juliet just decides to come out and say it.

"So you're saying, for as long as I want, I can sleep in your bed and you and Erica won't mind not...." She trails off. "Pregnant women like sex, a lot."

She's sure he remembers.

"I mean, what are we doing here, socks on the door or something?"

This conversation is better and more distracting at least, then thinking about James.

[yippiekiyaymf]

He can't help chuckling a bit.

"Yeah, socks on the door, or Erica and I could...use your room. There'll be ways around it."

[island_juliet]

Juliet looks at both of them, then sags in relief.

"Okay. Okay, I just don't..." She swallows thickly. "I just don't want to get in the way. But I don't want to be alone."