(no subject)
I prefer delusion to clarity. So little matters to me now I can't get excited. Whoever sold simplicity as peace did not have it all together. I understand why people find religion - it shuts up that nagging little voice telling you off for a million different things. Perhaps god is simply the manifestation of the conscience, as many much sharper than I have already surmised. They're certainly linked. Community guilt is easier to cope with than that very personal guilt coming from a lifetime of offences. I certainly have an easier time apologising to an abstract concept about the myriad people I have wronged in my time. I will certainly punish myself more severely than any sounding board made up of my notions of eternity. I almost wish I were on drugs so I wouldn't write soppy shit like this.
This all began when a coworker said in short I'll never have a soulmate. I've let that marinate a bit and focused on the idea of god/the soul and how this idea affects relations rather than the extremely hurtful intimation that I am unlovable. I have always been proud of my militant rejection of the soul. I stand by that rejection. The soul as a concept isn't necessarily god, but god is a terrific catchall for many different traditions. Soul is a great nickname for the processes by which we regulate ourselves emotionally and morally. It's so good that many who call themselves irreligious affix all sorts of ethereal qualities to the 'soul', and a person who fits enough of one's physical, mental, financial and moral wants is called a 'soulmate'. It's interesting the lengths to which people will go to assert that someone is 'the one for them'. Based on pure numbers, everyone has many soulmates from which to choose - we are a generic bunch when you get down to animal needs like mating. This is not to say connections aren't important, but rather that we can't shut out new people and things out of course. Your better than best friend might be around the corner.
This all began when a coworker said in short I'll never have a soulmate. I've let that marinate a bit and focused on the idea of god/the soul and how this idea affects relations rather than the extremely hurtful intimation that I am unlovable. I have always been proud of my militant rejection of the soul. I stand by that rejection. The soul as a concept isn't necessarily god, but god is a terrific catchall for many different traditions. Soul is a great nickname for the processes by which we regulate ourselves emotionally and morally. It's so good that many who call themselves irreligious affix all sorts of ethereal qualities to the 'soul', and a person who fits enough of one's physical, mental, financial and moral wants is called a 'soulmate'. It's interesting the lengths to which people will go to assert that someone is 'the one for them'. Based on pure numbers, everyone has many soulmates from which to choose - we are a generic bunch when you get down to animal needs like mating. This is not to say connections aren't important, but rather that we can't shut out new people and things out of course. Your better than best friend might be around the corner.