Have a shaky, shaky X-Mas...
So to the best of my physician's knowledge, I have anxiety. Awesome. The first feeling I had was a childish feeling of humiliation. It's tough to admit to anxiety when there is no logical reason to feel that way. I felt like I'd failed my friends, family and self; how could I succumb to anxiety - I am better than this! Of course that's not the point - I just need to do a better job handling stress. It's not about being a 'failure', but rather a person. I thought about how much easier this would be if it were a thyroid problem, how it wouldn't be 'my fault'. I thought of myself as a stereotype - a whiny, privileged loser who can't deal with life. I thought that was how people viewed me. None of this is fair. I think I just need to eat better, sleep more, and slow down. I've spent the past 6 months or so in a fog. I didn't pay attention to much and I didn't care. This is changing. I think I can convince myself that I am not an embarrassment and that people are not always judging me. I think I can convince myself that my friends and family do like me and are not just being nice. I know it.