Conversations #2: Oh, Baby
Title: Conversations #2: Oh, Baby
Author: isisizabel
Fandom: Gossip Girl
Pairing(s): Chuck/Jenny (friendship), Jenny/Nate, Chuck/Blair
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 750
Author's Note: This is a post-series fic. It's in the same 'verse as Can't Stay Away and This Love, This Hate. It's a series of conversations between Chuck and Jenny after both fics have taken place. I've never attempted a dialogue fic before, and I'd appreciate any and all feedback. :-)
Oh, Baby
Conversations #2
“What the hell is this?”
“Sure, Chuck, come on in. I do so love when you barge into my room.”
“I’m serious, Jenny. What the hell is this?”
“That? That looks like a pregnancy test to me.”
“Thank you, I got that much. Why the hell was it in the bathroom?”
“Because people don’t take pregnancy tests in the living room? And why are you going through the trash in the bathroom? That’s kinda pervy-even for you.”
“I saw it when I was in there. Don’t change the subject.”
“Wait-you think it’s mine? Oh, my God.”
“Are you telling me it’s not?”
“Not unless I sleepwalked to the drug store and took a pregnancy test before I woke up. No, Chuck, it isn’t mine.”
“Then who’s is it?”
“Do I look like the pregnancy test police? It’s not like I’m the only woman living here. Hell, Blair was here yesterday with Serena-maybe it’s hers.”
“That’s not funny.”
“OK, you’re right. It’s not funny. But it isn’t mine. Did you ask Serena or Lily?”
“No.”
“So you immediately assumed if someone was knocked up it was me? Thanks.”
“You’re sure you’re not pregnant?”
“Do you want me to hand over my half-empty box of tampons? Don’t make that face-you asked for it.”
“Then I wonder who it is.”
“Is it positive?”
“I didn’t look.”
“How the hell did you not … Whatever. Give it to me.”
“So? Is it positive?”
“It’s a blue line.”
“That means yes?”
“That means I don’t know without the box it came in. There are different tests. Some tests a blue line is yes. Sometimes you need a pink line. Some you need two lines. Sometimes a positive symbol…”
“Do I want to know how you know about all these different pregnancy tests?”
“Probably not.”
“Fine. So how do we figure out who’s test that one is?”
“We could do a DNA test on it!”
“I’m serious, Jenny.”
“Chuck, maybe you should accept that this is none of your business and leave it alone.”
“What if it is Blair’s? She was here almost all day yesterday. And if she was going to take a pregnancy test, I bet she would tell Serena.”
“If it is Blair’s, you have to trust her to tell you when she’s ready.”
“Trust Blair?”
“Why is it such a foreign concept for you to trust the girl you love?”
“Because she’s Blair.”
“I see your point.”
“Should I ask her?”
“Ask her? Hell, no! Are you insane?”
“Then what do I do?”
“Look, if you ask her and it is hers, she’s going to think you were snooping. If you ask her and it isn’t hers, she’ll drive everyone crazy trying to find out who it is. Either way isn’t fun for you or me. I vote you leave it alone.”
“Maybe you’re right.”
“I usually am.”
--
“It isn’t Blair’s test.”
“What? How did you-”
“I asked her.”
“I thought you said I shouldn’t ask her.”
“Exactly. I said you shouldn’t ask her. It’s one thing for your boyfriend to shove a pregnancy test under your nose and ask if it’s yours. It’s another thing for your friend to ask out of concern.”
“You’ve been hanging out with Blair too long. You’re almost as manipulative as she is.”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be. I like it.”
“You would.”
“That still leaves the mystery of who’s test that is.”
“It’s Eric’s.”
“What?”
“Yeah. Apparently he and his science partner were doing a project on the validity of pregnancy tests. He thought he cleaned them all up. She took like five tests. Four said she wasn’t pregnant, and one said she is.”
“So she’s pregnant?”
“No. She’s a virgin, so unless it was an immaculate conception…”
“I see.”
“So you were freaked out all day over nothing.”
“I wouldn’t say nothing. I mean, a guy finds a pregnancy test in the trash and he immediately goes to the worst case scenario. It biology.”
“But you came to me first. Not Blair. So are you saying that me being pregnant would be the worst case scenario?”
“Absolutely.”
“Wow. I think I’m … touched. You know, that you would worry about me.”
“Actually I was thinking that the last thing the world needs right now is another Humphrey.”
Author: isisizabel
Fandom: Gossip Girl
Pairing(s): Chuck/Jenny (friendship), Jenny/Nate, Chuck/Blair
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 750
Author's Note: This is a post-series fic. It's in the same 'verse as Can't Stay Away and This Love, This Hate. It's a series of conversations between Chuck and Jenny after both fics have taken place. I've never attempted a dialogue fic before, and I'd appreciate any and all feedback. :-)
Oh, Baby
Conversations #2
“What the hell is this?”
“Sure, Chuck, come on in. I do so love when you barge into my room.”
“I’m serious, Jenny. What the hell is this?”
“That? That looks like a pregnancy test to me.”
“Thank you, I got that much. Why the hell was it in the bathroom?”
“Because people don’t take pregnancy tests in the living room? And why are you going through the trash in the bathroom? That’s kinda pervy-even for you.”
“I saw it when I was in there. Don’t change the subject.”
“Wait-you think it’s mine? Oh, my God.”
“Are you telling me it’s not?”
“Not unless I sleepwalked to the drug store and took a pregnancy test before I woke up. No, Chuck, it isn’t mine.”
“Then who’s is it?”
“Do I look like the pregnancy test police? It’s not like I’m the only woman living here. Hell, Blair was here yesterday with Serena-maybe it’s hers.”
“That’s not funny.”
“OK, you’re right. It’s not funny. But it isn’t mine. Did you ask Serena or Lily?”
“No.”
“So you immediately assumed if someone was knocked up it was me? Thanks.”
“You’re sure you’re not pregnant?”
“Do you want me to hand over my half-empty box of tampons? Don’t make that face-you asked for it.”
“Then I wonder who it is.”
“Is it positive?”
“I didn’t look.”
“How the hell did you not … Whatever. Give it to me.”
“So? Is it positive?”
“It’s a blue line.”
“That means yes?”
“That means I don’t know without the box it came in. There are different tests. Some tests a blue line is yes. Sometimes you need a pink line. Some you need two lines. Sometimes a positive symbol…”
“Do I want to know how you know about all these different pregnancy tests?”
“Probably not.”
“Fine. So how do we figure out who’s test that one is?”
“We could do a DNA test on it!”
“I’m serious, Jenny.”
“Chuck, maybe you should accept that this is none of your business and leave it alone.”
“What if it is Blair’s? She was here almost all day yesterday. And if she was going to take a pregnancy test, I bet she would tell Serena.”
“If it is Blair’s, you have to trust her to tell you when she’s ready.”
“Trust Blair?”
“Why is it such a foreign concept for you to trust the girl you love?”
“Because she’s Blair.”
“I see your point.”
“Should I ask her?”
“Ask her? Hell, no! Are you insane?”
“Then what do I do?”
“Look, if you ask her and it is hers, she’s going to think you were snooping. If you ask her and it isn’t hers, she’ll drive everyone crazy trying to find out who it is. Either way isn’t fun for you or me. I vote you leave it alone.”
“Maybe you’re right.”
“I usually am.”
--
“It isn’t Blair’s test.”
“What? How did you-”
“I asked her.”
“I thought you said I shouldn’t ask her.”
“Exactly. I said you shouldn’t ask her. It’s one thing for your boyfriend to shove a pregnancy test under your nose and ask if it’s yours. It’s another thing for your friend to ask out of concern.”
“You’ve been hanging out with Blair too long. You’re almost as manipulative as she is.”
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be. I like it.”
“You would.”
“That still leaves the mystery of who’s test that is.”
“It’s Eric’s.”
“What?”
“Yeah. Apparently he and his science partner were doing a project on the validity of pregnancy tests. He thought he cleaned them all up. She took like five tests. Four said she wasn’t pregnant, and one said she is.”
“So she’s pregnant?”
“No. She’s a virgin, so unless it was an immaculate conception…”
“I see.”
“So you were freaked out all day over nothing.”
“I wouldn’t say nothing. I mean, a guy finds a pregnancy test in the trash and he immediately goes to the worst case scenario. It biology.”
“But you came to me first. Not Blair. So are you saying that me being pregnant would be the worst case scenario?”
“Absolutely.”
“Wow. I think I’m … touched. You know, that you would worry about me.”
“Actually I was thinking that the last thing the world needs right now is another Humphrey.”