(no subject)
Ten Thoughts to Ponder for 2006
Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted
Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest
possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and
Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a
sandwich.
Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed
them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and
they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky...not
really good for anything, but you still can't help but
smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid
someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from
the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost
you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut
saves you thirty cents?
Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to
make the world weird. Now the world is weird and
people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006 - We know
exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located
among the millions and millions of cows in America but
we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal
immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should
put the Department of Agriculture in charge of
immigration
Number 10 - Life is sexually transmitted
Number 9 - Good health is merely the slowest
possible rate at which one can die.
Number 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and
Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a
sandwich.
Number 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed
them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and
they won't bother you for weeks.
Number 6 - Some people are like a Slinky...not
really good for anything, but you still can't help but
smile when you see one tumble down the stairs.
Number 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid
someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
Number 4 - All of us could take a lesson from
the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
Number 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost
you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut
saves you thirty cents?
Number 2 - In the 60's, people took acid to
make the world weird. Now the world is weird and
people take Prozac to make it normal.
AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006 - We know
exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located
among the millions and millions of cows in America but
we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal
immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should
put the Department of Agriculture in charge of
immigration