(no subject)
I believe Irene is dying.
I hate death. I hate seeing it, I hate being affected by it, I hate dealin with it. I really hate the dyings suffering, and the family who is seeing her suffer. Irene isn't technically my gramma. She is my cousins technical gramma, but she might as well be. I couldn't picture Irene ever dying. She is so damn healthy. She doesn't drink, she doesn't smoke, she is spry, witty, active, thin...she is old, be she doesn't act or live old. I didn't realize it was quite this bad. Death sometimes sneaks. I guess this is better for her, she is at hospice. Just a few days ago, we thought she was headed back to her apartment. This season shouldn't be shrouded in death. I feel selfish that I have such a vivacous little life runnin me ragged. She wants to see him. The cycle of life, the old wanting to be touched by the young, not for youth, but innocence, remembrance, and somehow a peace. I really suck with death. I remember how tightly everyone was clinging to Caleb and his birth, at Paps funeral. Everyone 'needs' Caleb now. Because he is hope for life anew, that we are somehow passed on, remembered... anyhow.
I hate death. I hate seeing it, I hate being affected by it, I hate dealin with it. I really hate the dyings suffering, and the family who is seeing her suffer. Irene isn't technically my gramma. She is my cousins technical gramma, but she might as well be. I couldn't picture Irene ever dying. She is so damn healthy. She doesn't drink, she doesn't smoke, she is spry, witty, active, thin...she is old, be she doesn't act or live old. I didn't realize it was quite this bad. Death sometimes sneaks. I guess this is better for her, she is at hospice. Just a few days ago, we thought she was headed back to her apartment. This season shouldn't be shrouded in death. I feel selfish that I have such a vivacous little life runnin me ragged. She wants to see him. The cycle of life, the old wanting to be touched by the young, not for youth, but innocence, remembrance, and somehow a peace. I really suck with death. I remember how tightly everyone was clinging to Caleb and his birth, at Paps funeral. Everyone 'needs' Caleb now. Because he is hope for life anew, that we are somehow passed on, remembered... anyhow.