present tense and me
FRTDNEATJ I've been thinking about why I bounce so hard off so much present-tense fiction. You have probably noticed this about me if you've been reading my reviews, so I thought it might be interesting (at least to me :-) to ramble about it a little.
I don't like present tense. But it's not like it's something on a check-off list ("This story is marked down two points for present tense"); it's more that I tend to be aware of the tense, while past tense is invisible to me, and that awareness gets in the way of my enjoyment of the story.
(I wonder whether that's because my formative reading, i.e. Published Fiction, was all in past tense. Do people who started as tinyfen with present-tense fanfiction notice past tense the same way I notice present? Do people who read a lot of literature where quotation marks aren't used for speech - Angela's Ashes, The Road - notice quotation marks? Do people who learned to read in languages where double-angle-brackets are used for speech notice quotation marks?)
Present tense sounds narrated to me. That is, when I read John put the book down and walked over to the window I 'grok' what John has done; but when I read John puts the book down and walks over to the window I hear someone telling me what John is doing. It's like a sportscaster giving me the play-by-play. It keeps dragging me out of the story and into the 'I'm being told this story' mode. I know that one reason people use present tense is because they feel it's 'more immediate', but to me, it actually seems more distancing. Maybe it's happening more obviously now as opposed to in the past, but there is this narrative layer interposed, for me; and anyway, I find past tense so transparent that it's not actually in 'the past' but just kind of all-encompassing, now and forever-ish.
I think this is why it's easier for me to 'read' present tense stories by listening to audiofic, rather than reading the text, because audiofic is explicitly narrated. I first noticed this in August, listening to a story
luzula recorded, and I mentioned this in my rec. I don't think I would have enjoyed the story enough to rec (possibly even to finish!) reading the text. (And actually, I'm listening to another present-tense audiofic now, which is one thing that sparked this post.) With audiofic, I notice the present tense at the beginning (and sometimes at points during the story) but it's easier for me to get past it, because someone is telling me what John is doing, so to speak.
It also works better for me in first person POV than in third, again because those stories are explicitly narrated. And there's a certain style of short fiction which is almost narrated by the very tight 3rd person POV - here's an example, from Code of Conduct, an S2B2 story which I reviewed in a past post:The night plays out pretty much the way Ozzie's expecting, except that just when they're heading back home, a kid on a bike weaves into the path of the headlights, and Harrison sucks in a breath-- "Motherf--" and slams on the brakes, swerving hard to the right and just about putting them into a tree.
Ozzie doesn't really put it all together at the time. What he does process is, blond, and then plaid, and then bike and car almost simultaneously, and then his inner ear does backflips and his heart is pounding and his mouth is dry and he's staring at a tree--a tree! Hello, tree!--and then he's following Harrison out of the car as his brain narrates it back in a way that makes sense and then informs him, Shit, Luke, and Harrison almost hit him, and then Jesus fuck, what's he doing riding his bike this high?
It's hard for me to articulate why this story feels to me like it needs the present tense, but I think it was the right choice. It works, and the narration effect works for the story rather than against it, for me. Whereas this (from Dark Signs of a World Gone Mad , another S2B2 story in the same issue) - it's not bad writing, but I don't see the need for it to be in present tense, and I feel like the narration effect obtrudes on the story, makes it feel more distant:School ends. Adlai goes for duty, but not before reaching for Lenka's wrist and whispering into his ear.
'Don't tell anyone or you'll get me skinned alive, but the man we are looking for is here and he's carrying a crystal; you wouldn't know about it. I'll tell you about it afterwards, I promise. We think he's finally come to collect what he left behind.'
Lenka expects to feel relief that he was correct. The boy knows things. But Lenka only feels sick. History is always repeating itself, and for some reason, Lenka does not want this to happen with Adlai. It is a stupid, stupid hope, but Lenka almost sees the future as it could be: Adlai warm and safe by his side, their fingers falling carelessly into each other.
(And interestingly, this one punctuates dialogue with single rather than the more common double quotes. Which I notice immediately, but don't continue to notice.)
I mean, obviously YMMV. But in general I notice present tense where I don't notice past tense, and it pulls me out of the story; so in order to become absorbed by a present-tense story, it has to be either really good, or the narrative needs to consciously make use of the present tense, use that play-by-play effect.
Which happens a lot with sex scenes/PWP stories, things like: "Luke's hips jerk, and--and God, Ozzie wants it, he wants it so bad, he wants Luke to fuck his throat but he doesn't know how..." and actually, even though this is from a story I like, that I think works with the present tense, I am becoming a little tired of this style of writing, which is very common in fanfiction, it seems. It's like a lot of italics and deity invocation are being used as a shortcut to sexiness, and it feels a bit like a cheap trick which is getting rapidly stale; or maybe it's just that (again) I notice it, stylistically.
I think part of it might be that I tend to prefer stories heavy on dialogue and action, and these come off as narrated and bland in present tense. It's more introspection that works in present tense, for me. (I'm just kind of thinking out loud, here.)
Anyway, I am completely aware this is just my opinion, and I know a lot of you happily read and write present tense, no biggie. And you are probably thinking oh no, Isis hates my stories because they are present tense, and, well - if I've told you I liked a story, I did, really! Even if it was present tense! It might have had to have been EXTRA AWESOME to overcome my present-tense-o-phobia, but that just means, you know, it was EXTRA AWESOME. But if you are inspired to think hard about tense choice for your next story, I will not object!
Also posted on Dreamwidth where there are
comments.
I don't like present tense. But it's not like it's something on a check-off list ("This story is marked down two points for present tense"); it's more that I tend to be aware of the tense, while past tense is invisible to me, and that awareness gets in the way of my enjoyment of the story.
(I wonder whether that's because my formative reading, i.e. Published Fiction, was all in past tense. Do people who started as tinyfen with present-tense fanfiction notice past tense the same way I notice present? Do people who read a lot of literature where quotation marks aren't used for speech - Angela's Ashes, The Road - notice quotation marks? Do people who learned to read in languages where double-angle-brackets are used for speech notice quotation marks?)
Present tense sounds narrated to me. That is, when I read John put the book down and walked over to the window I 'grok' what John has done; but when I read John puts the book down and walks over to the window I hear someone telling me what John is doing. It's like a sportscaster giving me the play-by-play. It keeps dragging me out of the story and into the 'I'm being told this story' mode. I know that one reason people use present tense is because they feel it's 'more immediate', but to me, it actually seems more distancing. Maybe it's happening more obviously now as opposed to in the past, but there is this narrative layer interposed, for me; and anyway, I find past tense so transparent that it's not actually in 'the past' but just kind of all-encompassing, now and forever-ish.
I think this is why it's easier for me to 'read' present tense stories by listening to audiofic, rather than reading the text, because audiofic is explicitly narrated. I first noticed this in August, listening to a story
luzula recorded, and I mentioned this in my rec. I don't think I would have enjoyed the story enough to rec (possibly even to finish!) reading the text. (And actually, I'm listening to another present-tense audiofic now, which is one thing that sparked this post.) With audiofic, I notice the present tense at the beginning (and sometimes at points during the story) but it's easier for me to get past it, because someone is telling me what John is doing, so to speak.
It also works better for me in first person POV than in third, again because those stories are explicitly narrated. And there's a certain style of short fiction which is almost narrated by the very tight 3rd person POV - here's an example, from Code of Conduct, an S2B2 story which I reviewed in a past post:The night plays out pretty much the way Ozzie's expecting, except that just when they're heading back home, a kid on a bike weaves into the path of the headlights, and Harrison sucks in a breath-- "Motherf--" and slams on the brakes, swerving hard to the right and just about putting them into a tree.
Ozzie doesn't really put it all together at the time. What he does process is, blond, and then plaid, and then bike and car almost simultaneously, and then his inner ear does backflips and his heart is pounding and his mouth is dry and he's staring at a tree--a tree! Hello, tree!--and then he's following Harrison out of the car as his brain narrates it back in a way that makes sense and then informs him, Shit, Luke, and Harrison almost hit him, and then Jesus fuck, what's he doing riding his bike this high?
It's hard for me to articulate why this story feels to me like it needs the present tense, but I think it was the right choice. It works, and the narration effect works for the story rather than against it, for me. Whereas this (from Dark Signs of a World Gone Mad , another S2B2 story in the same issue) - it's not bad writing, but I don't see the need for it to be in present tense, and I feel like the narration effect obtrudes on the story, makes it feel more distant:School ends. Adlai goes for duty, but not before reaching for Lenka's wrist and whispering into his ear.
'Don't tell anyone or you'll get me skinned alive, but the man we are looking for is here and he's carrying a crystal; you wouldn't know about it. I'll tell you about it afterwards, I promise. We think he's finally come to collect what he left behind.'
Lenka expects to feel relief that he was correct. The boy knows things. But Lenka only feels sick. History is always repeating itself, and for some reason, Lenka does not want this to happen with Adlai. It is a stupid, stupid hope, but Lenka almost sees the future as it could be: Adlai warm and safe by his side, their fingers falling carelessly into each other.
(And interestingly, this one punctuates dialogue with single rather than the more common double quotes. Which I notice immediately, but don't continue to notice.)
I mean, obviously YMMV. But in general I notice present tense where I don't notice past tense, and it pulls me out of the story; so in order to become absorbed by a present-tense story, it has to be either really good, or the narrative needs to consciously make use of the present tense, use that play-by-play effect.
Which happens a lot with sex scenes/PWP stories, things like: "Luke's hips jerk, and--and God, Ozzie wants it, he wants it so bad, he wants Luke to fuck his throat but he doesn't know how..." and actually, even though this is from a story I like, that I think works with the present tense, I am becoming a little tired of this style of writing, which is very common in fanfiction, it seems. It's like a lot of italics and deity invocation are being used as a shortcut to sexiness, and it feels a bit like a cheap trick which is getting rapidly stale; or maybe it's just that (again) I notice it, stylistically.
I think part of it might be that I tend to prefer stories heavy on dialogue and action, and these come off as narrated and bland in present tense. It's more introspection that works in present tense, for me. (I'm just kind of thinking out loud, here.)
Anyway, I am completely aware this is just my opinion, and I know a lot of you happily read and write present tense, no biggie. And you are probably thinking oh no, Isis hates my stories because they are present tense, and, well - if I've told you I liked a story, I did, really! Even if it was present tense! It might have had to have been EXTRA AWESOME to overcome my present-tense-o-phobia, but that just means, you know, it was EXTRA AWESOME. But if you are inspired to think hard about tense choice for your next story, I will not object!
Also posted on Dreamwidth where there are
comments.