Fic: What Do You Go Home To? (Aaron/Ji Yeon)
Title: What Do You Go Home To?
Rating: PG-13
Summary: No one was talking. There was so much tension in the air, it was practically another presence in the room. Aaron was watching Ji packing the rest of her things. She was crying, and he was furious.
Disclaimer: I do not own Lost. At all. I wish but alas...
Author's Note: So, these two are sort of becoming my future!OTP.
Previous Parts: Our Last Days as Children | With Tired Eyes, Tired Minds, Tired Souls, We Slept
Aaron wakes up with Ji in his arms. She has a loose grip on him, and she looks like she could sleep for a few more hours, at least. He wonders why he’s so awake. He had driven all day and nearly all night, but seven quick hours of sleep had him awake with his mind working away yet again.
He looks at Ji. It’s been forever since he’s seen her; or, it feels that way. He wants to memorize everything about her all over again. She’s so small. She always has been. She still sleeps curled up around herself. He can’t help but think back to the last time they had slept in the same bed. It had been just before their whole world had collapsed on the both of them. It felt like such a long time ago now.
Making a tiny noise, she shifts in her sleep and curls up a bit more. Aaron smiles. Until this moment, looking down at her as she slept, he had never truly realized how much he had missed her. He’d thought he had, when he had was waiting for her, in the airport, and even in the car. But now that she was in his arms again, simply sleeping and making small noises he would only ever associate with her, Aaron knew that he had been wrong.
*
No one was talking. There was so much tension in the air, it was practically another presence in the room. Aaron was watching Ji packing the rest of her things. She was crying, and he was furious. Kate had tried to talk to them both a few times, but the look that Aaron had given her had made her back away forlornly and leave them alone. But Ji and Aaron couldn’t even bring themselves to say anything to each other. What was there to say now? They couldn’t change anything.
Ji pulled her bag over her shoulder and looked at Aaron. Her face was puffy and she looked so heartbroken. His face softened as he looked at her. She charged forward, directly into his arms, and sobbed against his shoulder.
“It’s gonna be okay,” he told her, hand on the back of her neck, face buried in her hair. He refused to believe this would be the last time he breathed in that scent. She could be back in his arms somehow. Someday.
“No it’s not,” she insisted, clinging to him so tightly he almost couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t have cared less.
“It is,” he said. He squeezed her tightly before pulling her back so he could look her in the eyes. “I promise.” He kissed her forehead and closed his eyes, holding his lips against her skin. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” she answered, though sobs. Her tiny body was shaking so much; it only more his heart more and made him even more furious than he already was. He wanted desperately to make it stop, but he knew he couldn’t. There was nothing either of them could do now.
Except say goodbye.
“Ji.” Aaron closed his eyes, tight. “Your Mom says it’s time to go.” Ji looked up at him with her big, beautiful brown eyes and he looked back down at her. This was it. It was all really happening. The girl he had loved for most of his life was being ripped away from him for reasons that had nothing to do with either of them.
Suddenly and unexpectedly, Ji grabbed him around the back of his neck and kissed him harder than she ever had before. “I love you,” she whispered against his lips, and then she was gone. She all but ran, and he knew it was because if she stood there for one more second, her heart would never heal. He knew how that felt.
He turned and looked out the door. Ji was gone. His heartbreak gave way to anger once more when he saw Kate standing there. He was in no place to appreciate the compassion on her face. Not after learning his whole childhood had been a lie, and certainly not considering all of this was her fault. He had planned to just leave the room as fast as he could without saying a word, but his bitterness got the better of him. Because he found himself stopping in the doorway next to her.
“I just want you to know, I will never forgive you for this…” He paused for a second. “Kate.”
She looked crestfallen, but he only saw a second of it before he was gone, over to his bedroom. He went straight to the window and looked out. His timing had been perfect, because when he looked down the driveway, Ji was looking through the window at him. She offered him a brave, but hallow, smile before climbing into the backseat of the car. He sighed and leaned with his head against the wall.
When he opened his eyes again, the car was gone - and Ji with it.
*
“Aaron?” He felt a sharp jab at his shoulder. He blinked a few times, then looked down at Ji. She was staring up at him with concern and confusion. “What’s wrong?” she asked.
He shook his head and ran his hand over his face. “Nothing,” he said. She looked incredibly skeptical, maybe even a bit annoyed. “Nothing, I’m…just thinking too much, like I always do.” And while that was true, it was also a lie. And he had no idea why, of all people, he was lying to Ji.
“About what?” she asked, sitting up and stretching her arms.
Aaron shrugged. “A bunch of stuff that doesn’t matter anymore,” he answered.
“Hey,” Ji said, fairly forcefully. He looked over at her sharply, and she looked even more distressed and annoyed than he had before. “You don’t have to do that,” she told him. “You don’t have to act like you’re fine when you’re not and keep all of it inside. We’re in this together now; it’s just you and me. So, please, talk to me. And please, don’t lie to me.”
He nods. She’s right. He knows she’s right.
“Okay,” he agrees. Despite his knee-jerk impulses, he knows Ji is the only person he doesn’t have to do that with. She’s the only one he feels like he can say anything to; he just has to start letting himself actually do it.
“I was just thinking about the last time we saw each other,” he replies. She nods, slowly, then starts absently picking at the blanket covering her lap.
“So, by ‘nothing’, you meant one of the biggest moments of our lives?”
Aaron exhales slowly. Yeah. He had definitely deserved that.
“It…isn’t a great memory.” Which is an understatement. “I just didn’t wanna…I don’t know, drag it back up or something.” Weak logic if he’s ever heard any. He sighs. “I don’t know why I feel like I have to handle this all by myself,” he added, finally. Because he really didn’t.
She shakes her head. “The past can’t hurt us any more, Aaron,” she tells him. “And you don’t need to protect me. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Yeah,” he agrees. Because that’s really what this is all about. He had lost her once; they had lost each other. He knows he can never do that again. He couldn’t survive losing her a second time. “I really love you, you know that?”
She smiles and puts her hand on top of his. “I love you too,” she answers. “This, what we’re doing now, this is our second chance. What happened then…it doesn’t matter anymore.”
“Yeah.”
“You don’t believe me,” she states, matter-of-factly. He sighs but doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t want to tell her she’s right, but she is. “It’s okay. You’ll see.”
“I can’t do that again,” he tells her after a few moments of silence. He was tempted to keep it to himself, but this one…he doubts he could have. He turns to face her. “I can’t lose you,” he finishes. She takes hold of his hand and scoots over closer to him. She grips his arm with her other hand and lays her head on his shoulder.
“You won’t,” she promises. He hates that he doesn’t quite believe that either. She pulls him a bit closer and kisses his shoulder. “You’ll see.”
He smiles. She always knows.
Rating: PG-13
Summary: No one was talking. There was so much tension in the air, it was practically another presence in the room. Aaron was watching Ji packing the rest of her things. She was crying, and he was furious.
Disclaimer: I do not own Lost. At all. I wish but alas...
Author's Note: So, these two are sort of becoming my future!OTP.
Previous Parts: Our Last Days as Children | With Tired Eyes, Tired Minds, Tired Souls, We Slept
Aaron wakes up with Ji in his arms. She has a loose grip on him, and she looks like she could sleep for a few more hours, at least. He wonders why he’s so awake. He had driven all day and nearly all night, but seven quick hours of sleep had him awake with his mind working away yet again.
He looks at Ji. It’s been forever since he’s seen her; or, it feels that way. He wants to memorize everything about her all over again. She’s so small. She always has been. She still sleeps curled up around herself. He can’t help but think back to the last time they had slept in the same bed. It had been just before their whole world had collapsed on the both of them. It felt like such a long time ago now.
Making a tiny noise, she shifts in her sleep and curls up a bit more. Aaron smiles. Until this moment, looking down at her as she slept, he had never truly realized how much he had missed her. He’d thought he had, when he had was waiting for her, in the airport, and even in the car. But now that she was in his arms again, simply sleeping and making small noises he would only ever associate with her, Aaron knew that he had been wrong.
*
No one was talking. There was so much tension in the air, it was practically another presence in the room. Aaron was watching Ji packing the rest of her things. She was crying, and he was furious. Kate had tried to talk to them both a few times, but the look that Aaron had given her had made her back away forlornly and leave them alone. But Ji and Aaron couldn’t even bring themselves to say anything to each other. What was there to say now? They couldn’t change anything.
Ji pulled her bag over her shoulder and looked at Aaron. Her face was puffy and she looked so heartbroken. His face softened as he looked at her. She charged forward, directly into his arms, and sobbed against his shoulder.
“It’s gonna be okay,” he told her, hand on the back of her neck, face buried in her hair. He refused to believe this would be the last time he breathed in that scent. She could be back in his arms somehow. Someday.
“No it’s not,” she insisted, clinging to him so tightly he almost couldn’t breathe. He couldn’t have cared less.
“It is,” he said. He squeezed her tightly before pulling her back so he could look her in the eyes. “I promise.” He kissed her forehead and closed his eyes, holding his lips against her skin. “I love you.”
“I love you too,” she answered, though sobs. Her tiny body was shaking so much; it only more his heart more and made him even more furious than he already was. He wanted desperately to make it stop, but he knew he couldn’t. There was nothing either of them could do now.
Except say goodbye.
“Ji.” Aaron closed his eyes, tight. “Your Mom says it’s time to go.” Ji looked up at him with her big, beautiful brown eyes and he looked back down at her. This was it. It was all really happening. The girl he had loved for most of his life was being ripped away from him for reasons that had nothing to do with either of them.
Suddenly and unexpectedly, Ji grabbed him around the back of his neck and kissed him harder than she ever had before. “I love you,” she whispered against his lips, and then she was gone. She all but ran, and he knew it was because if she stood there for one more second, her heart would never heal. He knew how that felt.
He turned and looked out the door. Ji was gone. His heartbreak gave way to anger once more when he saw Kate standing there. He was in no place to appreciate the compassion on her face. Not after learning his whole childhood had been a lie, and certainly not considering all of this was her fault. He had planned to just leave the room as fast as he could without saying a word, but his bitterness got the better of him. Because he found himself stopping in the doorway next to her.
“I just want you to know, I will never forgive you for this…” He paused for a second. “Kate.”
She looked crestfallen, but he only saw a second of it before he was gone, over to his bedroom. He went straight to the window and looked out. His timing had been perfect, because when he looked down the driveway, Ji was looking through the window at him. She offered him a brave, but hallow, smile before climbing into the backseat of the car. He sighed and leaned with his head against the wall.
When he opened his eyes again, the car was gone - and Ji with it.
*
“Aaron?” He felt a sharp jab at his shoulder. He blinked a few times, then looked down at Ji. She was staring up at him with concern and confusion. “What’s wrong?” she asked.
He shook his head and ran his hand over his face. “Nothing,” he said. She looked incredibly skeptical, maybe even a bit annoyed. “Nothing, I’m…just thinking too much, like I always do.” And while that was true, it was also a lie. And he had no idea why, of all people, he was lying to Ji.
“About what?” she asked, sitting up and stretching her arms.
Aaron shrugged. “A bunch of stuff that doesn’t matter anymore,” he answered.
“Hey,” Ji said, fairly forcefully. He looked over at her sharply, and she looked even more distressed and annoyed than he had before. “You don’t have to do that,” she told him. “You don’t have to act like you’re fine when you’re not and keep all of it inside. We’re in this together now; it’s just you and me. So, please, talk to me. And please, don’t lie to me.”
He nods. She’s right. He knows she’s right.
“Okay,” he agrees. Despite his knee-jerk impulses, he knows Ji is the only person he doesn’t have to do that with. She’s the only one he feels like he can say anything to; he just has to start letting himself actually do it.
“I was just thinking about the last time we saw each other,” he replies. She nods, slowly, then starts absently picking at the blanket covering her lap.
“So, by ‘nothing’, you meant one of the biggest moments of our lives?”
Aaron exhales slowly. Yeah. He had definitely deserved that.
“It…isn’t a great memory.” Which is an understatement. “I just didn’t wanna…I don’t know, drag it back up or something.” Weak logic if he’s ever heard any. He sighs. “I don’t know why I feel like I have to handle this all by myself,” he added, finally. Because he really didn’t.
She shakes her head. “The past can’t hurt us any more, Aaron,” she tells him. “And you don’t need to protect me. I’m not going anywhere.”
“Yeah,” he agrees. Because that’s really what this is all about. He had lost her once; they had lost each other. He knows he can never do that again. He couldn’t survive losing her a second time. “I really love you, you know that?”
She smiles and puts her hand on top of his. “I love you too,” she answers. “This, what we’re doing now, this is our second chance. What happened then…it doesn’t matter anymore.”
“Yeah.”
“You don’t believe me,” she states, matter-of-factly. He sighs but doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t want to tell her she’s right, but she is. “It’s okay. You’ll see.”
“I can’t do that again,” he tells her after a few moments of silence. He was tempted to keep it to himself, but this one…he doubts he could have. He turns to face her. “I can’t lose you,” he finishes. She takes hold of his hand and scoots over closer to him. She grips his arm with her other hand and lays her head on his shoulder.
“You won’t,” she promises. He hates that he doesn’t quite believe that either. She pulls him a bit closer and kisses his shoulder. “You’ll see.”
He smiles. She always knows.