Fic: Slip and Slide My Way Through This Charade (Bela)
Title: Slip and Slide My Way Through This Charade
Rating: PG
Summary: Pity nauseates her. She would rather be hated.
Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural. A girl can dream, but, alas, that's all it is.
Author's Note: Used for chem15try, prompt #7: Law of conservation of energy.
Vulnerability doesn’t sit well with her. It leaves a bad taste in her mouth. She doesn’t like needing anyone. She doesn’t like being in anyone’s debt. She doesn’t love money, she loves what money provides. Comfort for as long as she can have it. Security. Cat food, also very important.
Money appeases people. Greed feeds greed. Money buys possessions, yes. But it also buys a clean slate, evens the score. It’s the only method she knows. Everyone has a price, and she has just enough money to throw it around, erasing weakness and replacing it with the cold exterior of a woman who believes money is the apex of everything.
She throws money at Sam and Dean because she knows they need it so she knows they’ll take it. Because she’d rather them see her as damaged than weak. Because vulnerability, as said, settles in her chest like a lead weight.
Pity nauseates her. She would rather be hated. Hate keeps people away, and that’s all she wants. To take, to have. She’s long since learned the only person that she can trust is herself, and the only way to keep people away from her is to be something they can’t stand.
It works, every time. She leaves them angry with her, not understanding her, and when they think of her, they’ll think of the money. Not the broken, scared girl on her knees in a cemetery, coughing up water, and shaking from head to foot.
Anger is good. It’s safe.
Rating: PG
Summary: Pity nauseates her. She would rather be hated.
Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural. A girl can dream, but, alas, that's all it is.
Author's Note: Used for chem15try, prompt #7: Law of conservation of energy.
Vulnerability doesn’t sit well with her. It leaves a bad taste in her mouth. She doesn’t like needing anyone. She doesn’t like being in anyone’s debt. She doesn’t love money, she loves what money provides. Comfort for as long as she can have it. Security. Cat food, also very important.
Money appeases people. Greed feeds greed. Money buys possessions, yes. But it also buys a clean slate, evens the score. It’s the only method she knows. Everyone has a price, and she has just enough money to throw it around, erasing weakness and replacing it with the cold exterior of a woman who believes money is the apex of everything.
She throws money at Sam and Dean because she knows they need it so she knows they’ll take it. Because she’d rather them see her as damaged than weak. Because vulnerability, as said, settles in her chest like a lead weight.
Pity nauseates her. She would rather be hated. Hate keeps people away, and that’s all she wants. To take, to have. She’s long since learned the only person that she can trust is herself, and the only way to keep people away from her is to be something they can’t stand.
It works, every time. She leaves them angry with her, not understanding her, and when they think of her, they’ll think of the money. Not the broken, scared girl on her knees in a cemetery, coughing up water, and shaking from head to foot.
Anger is good. It’s safe.