The stuff that's on my mind.
So I haven't blogged in a couple days, and I figure, if I want to make this updating thing a "thing," I should come up with something to say despite the stunning blandness of my life. And now I'm going to retract that last comment about my life being bland, because even though it's usually true, I've never found this to be a good excuse not to do something. There's always a way to make something interesting. And I'll probably fail profoundly at making any of this interesting, but the best way to get better at something is to keep doing it anyway.
I've been watching a lot of YouTube lately, because apparently there are people there who do vlogs, and apparently some of them can be incredibly entertaining. Sometimes they can make a living from the ad money gained from providing these videos for free on YouTube. I find this incredible. In fact I've been quite captivated in general at the idea of making videos for some time. I've tampered in the world of video making before and I've found it quite fun. I tend to think that I could be making videos, if not for a long list of things that have contributed to this not happening. For example, if the technology were readily available with what I already have, which is isn't; if I had any experience with video editing, which I actually do a little, but not really; if I thought my computer wouldn't explode from the effort of dealing with video footage, which I don't; if I had any kind of confidence in front of a camera, or charisma, or expressiveness, or a realistic ability to be funny; etc. Point is, for the foreseeable future, there's a good chance you're going to continue to not see me on YouTube. That leaves me here, with my LJ and my words, which is just as well, since written words is the only thing I've ever been really good at, but in my fantasy world I don't see myself as a simple blogger anymore. In my fantasy world, I make videos.
There was a time when projections of my "ideal self" conjured images of writing about life and things in an amusing way for some kind of living, maybe not necessarily in a blog, but in some medium. I saw it as writing a quirky little column for a quirky little magazine, or something. This was the only job I could realistically see myself doing and enjoying it, in lieu of having any idea what the hell I'm going to do with a BA in psychology when that time comes (very soon, arrgh). Naturally, I don't foresee ever being able to do this for a sustainable living (or doing the video equivalent of this for a living, for that matter), but it's the only thing I could see myself doing, so I might as well blog about nothing in the meantime.
Anyway, I'm not sure if I was trying to arrive at a point with all that, but I know if I continue, it's going to derail into, "Augh, the future is scary and I hate you, broken economy." I have a lot of turmoil on that matter that I don't want to go into.
And now it's 1 am and I still need to get some writing in. I'm still doing my "unstructured writing" thing, though it's slowed down since that first night. I guess my reasoning is to take it a little at a time so I can stretch it out longer.
I've been watching a lot of YouTube lately, because apparently there are people there who do vlogs, and apparently some of them can be incredibly entertaining. Sometimes they can make a living from the ad money gained from providing these videos for free on YouTube. I find this incredible. In fact I've been quite captivated in general at the idea of making videos for some time. I've tampered in the world of video making before and I've found it quite fun. I tend to think that I could be making videos, if not for a long list of things that have contributed to this not happening. For example, if the technology were readily available with what I already have, which is isn't; if I had any experience with video editing, which I actually do a little, but not really; if I thought my computer wouldn't explode from the effort of dealing with video footage, which I don't; if I had any kind of confidence in front of a camera, or charisma, or expressiveness, or a realistic ability to be funny; etc. Point is, for the foreseeable future, there's a good chance you're going to continue to not see me on YouTube. That leaves me here, with my LJ and my words, which is just as well, since written words is the only thing I've ever been really good at, but in my fantasy world I don't see myself as a simple blogger anymore. In my fantasy world, I make videos.
There was a time when projections of my "ideal self" conjured images of writing about life and things in an amusing way for some kind of living, maybe not necessarily in a blog, but in some medium. I saw it as writing a quirky little column for a quirky little magazine, or something. This was the only job I could realistically see myself doing and enjoying it, in lieu of having any idea what the hell I'm going to do with a BA in psychology when that time comes (very soon, arrgh). Naturally, I don't foresee ever being able to do this for a sustainable living (or doing the video equivalent of this for a living, for that matter), but it's the only thing I could see myself doing, so I might as well blog about nothing in the meantime.
Anyway, I'm not sure if I was trying to arrive at a point with all that, but I know if I continue, it's going to derail into, "Augh, the future is scary and I hate you, broken economy." I have a lot of turmoil on that matter that I don't want to go into.
And now it's 1 am and I still need to get some writing in. I'm still doing my "unstructured writing" thing, though it's slowed down since that first night. I guess my reasoning is to take it a little at a time so I can stretch it out longer.