Kids, pregnancy is no good for your social life, your skin, or getting a good night's sleep
The teenagers I work with report that high school sex education says basically this about pregnancy: "Don't get pregnant.". They describe it as a little hysterical and one of them reported that the teacher actually said "Don't French kiss - you might get pregnant.". I have to say, it has occurred to me that you have a far more effective anti-pregnancy program in high school by exposing teens to the actual realities of pregnancy.
Something like this:
First Trimester:
The classes could have actual pregnant people come in to "tell their stories", they could have a "hemorrhoid horror story day" and all kinds of other fun. I think it would be quite effective. It would not be nearly as cute as Ellen Page in Juno, or Quinn Febray in Glee (who is apparently going to wear her pre-pregnancy mid-riff baring cheerleader outfit through her whole pregnancy).
Of course I said this to my midwife and she responded that teens have a much easier time of pregnancy, and that biologically the best time for this is 18-20. So, maybe as cute and comfortable as Ellen Page. I may have pointed out that this was not helpful advice to me at this point.
My midwife also reports that I am becoming unstable and that I am becoming "less straight", neither of which will seem shocking to people who know me. By unstable, she apparently means that relaxin causes the pelvis to loosen, so that it is no longer the stable base of the lower body. Less straight was similar. We both laughed lots.
Something like this:
First Trimester:
- bloating, bloating and more bloating,
- gas,
- morning sickness that really should be called all day sickness
- projectile vomiting,
- not being able to sleep through the night because you have to pee. again. and now. and again.
- exhaustion,
- constipation.
- More bloating,
- additional acne,
- still exhaustion,
- need to eat protein all the time,
- extra hair growth,
- still not being able to sleep through the night,
- possible carpel tunnel of pregnancy,
- back pain,
- always being too hot (as in temperature).
- increasing discomfort,
- vaguely remembering sleeping through the night pre-pregnancy, as you get up to pee at 1:00am, or as you lie awake in bed at 2:00 am, or as you get up to pee again at 3:00 am,
- more back pain,
- hip pain,
- waddle,
- difficulty breathing,
- months of congestion
The classes could have actual pregnant people come in to "tell their stories", they could have a "hemorrhoid horror story day" and all kinds of other fun. I think it would be quite effective. It would not be nearly as cute as Ellen Page in Juno, or Quinn Febray in Glee (who is apparently going to wear her pre-pregnancy mid-riff baring cheerleader outfit through her whole pregnancy).
Of course I said this to my midwife and she responded that teens have a much easier time of pregnancy, and that biologically the best time for this is 18-20. So, maybe as cute and comfortable as Ellen Page. I may have pointed out that this was not helpful advice to me at this point.
My midwife also reports that I am becoming unstable and that I am becoming "less straight", neither of which will seem shocking to people who know me. By unstable, she apparently means that relaxin causes the pelvis to loosen, so that it is no longer the stable base of the lower body. Less straight was similar. We both laughed lots.