It's been a while since I've posted....
But I have good reason. I haven't really written anything. Last year the only fic I wrote was for het_bigbang and I haven't even gotten around to posting it here yet. The reason for that... well there are a few. If you don't want to hear me waft on I understand but I feel the need to get everything off my chest at the moment.
So about a year ago my Uncle Brian was diagnosed with a brain tumour. His first doctor said that the position and size of the tumour meant that there was nothing they could do. They said that it was a miracle that he was still walking let alone alive. They said he had less than a month left. Now my uncle is the type of man to take that lying down. He got a second and third opinion, he got every opinion he could until he met a man named Charlie Teo. Charlie was the only man who was willing to operate and was able to remove 90% of the tumour from his brain. Of course this filled my uncle with lots of hope, he wanted to bet this so badly, but with chemo, radiotherapy and steroids he has slowly been getting worse.
This brings me to this weekend. This weekend my uncle decided he couldn't fight anymore. He really wanted to. He doesn't want to leave his son fatherless as my grandfather died when he was ten. However the medicine his on and the toll it has taken on his body means that he knows it's time to stop. On Sunday he signed a do not resuscitate order and went home so that he could be there when he went. My parents rushed to be with him but as soon as they arrived my uncle was rushed back to hospital in a huge amount of pain. It's to the point now where he is on an astronomical amount of painkillers and spending his days sleeping.
Basically I'm just waiting for a phone call to say that he's gone and that I need to travel for the funeral. I feel like I need to cry all the time but that if I start crying I'm never going to stop and how is that going to help anyone. I'm just waiting and that's the worst bit. I feel like I'm trapped in this limbo where I need to prepare myself for the worst but hope he can still hang on but I know he can't. I know this is it and I'm just sitting in my home, waiting for the time to come cause I'm too scared that if I go and see him that all I'll be able to remember of him is the pain he is in now. It just breaks my heart and I don't know what to do or say anymore.
So about a year ago my Uncle Brian was diagnosed with a brain tumour. His first doctor said that the position and size of the tumour meant that there was nothing they could do. They said that it was a miracle that he was still walking let alone alive. They said he had less than a month left. Now my uncle is the type of man to take that lying down. He got a second and third opinion, he got every opinion he could until he met a man named Charlie Teo. Charlie was the only man who was willing to operate and was able to remove 90% of the tumour from his brain. Of course this filled my uncle with lots of hope, he wanted to bet this so badly, but with chemo, radiotherapy and steroids he has slowly been getting worse.
This brings me to this weekend. This weekend my uncle decided he couldn't fight anymore. He really wanted to. He doesn't want to leave his son fatherless as my grandfather died when he was ten. However the medicine his on and the toll it has taken on his body means that he knows it's time to stop. On Sunday he signed a do not resuscitate order and went home so that he could be there when he went. My parents rushed to be with him but as soon as they arrived my uncle was rushed back to hospital in a huge amount of pain. It's to the point now where he is on an astronomical amount of painkillers and spending his days sleeping.
Basically I'm just waiting for a phone call to say that he's gone and that I need to travel for the funeral. I feel like I need to cry all the time but that if I start crying I'm never going to stop and how is that going to help anyone. I'm just waiting and that's the worst bit. I feel like I'm trapped in this limbo where I need to prepare myself for the worst but hope he can still hang on but I know he can't. I know this is it and I'm just sitting in my home, waiting for the time to come cause I'm too scared that if I go and see him that all I'll be able to remember of him is the pain he is in now. It just breaks my heart and I don't know what to do or say anymore.