[ShouxHiroto] RUMWOLF [Track 13: Regression]

[iscreamboo]

TITLE: RUMWOLF
CHAPTER: 13
RATING: R (Overall Story)
GENRE: AU; Romance (BL), Drama&Comedy, Action/Adventure, slight Supernatural/Paranormal
PAIRINGS: ShouxHiroto, previous [mentions of] Hirotox??
BAND: Alice Nine
SIDE BANDS: the GazettE, Danger Gang, SuG, Dir en Grey
CAMEOS: ???x2
SUMMARY: Four years ago, there was an accident affecting two entirely different worlds of two individuals. This accident led Ogata Hiroto to grow into a jaded young adult who becomes entangled in the dark, cold world of a nightlife he never expected to lead in order to fulfill his personal ambitions. One fateful day, on a morning walk with his pet Pomeranian, Mogu, he meets a young man who calls himself Shou. Will Hiroto's four years of hard work and effort to reach his goal be thrown away to waste or will it finally be rewarded through this meeting?
WARNINGS: Intimate actions between men, sexual references, language, violence, racing, mentions of heavy chain-smoking and alcohol abuse...err, I don't think that's the end.
PREVIOUS CHAPTERS: Prologue // 01 // 02 // 03 // 04 // 05 // 06 // 07 // 08 // 09 // 10 // 11 // 12


Track 13: Regression
"Kamijo-sensei," Shou greeted his former neuropsychologist with a polite smile outside of Hiroto's room. The blonde haired doctor had just exited the room with his usual poker face painted on his elegant features. It was an expression Shou had become accustomed to, so he could never predict either good or bad news from the doctor. "I didn't expect to see you again. I also didn't expect that you'd be in charge of Hiroto's recovery." Again, Kamijo-sensei was never easy to predict.

"I guess you forgot that I happened to work at this hospital after four years," Kamijo-sensei responded -- but with none of Shou's energy -- in an almost sarcastic manner after bowing his head in a polite greeting. "How have you been doing? Are you still claustrophobic, or has the fear reduced itself after all of the therapy sessions?"

"Ah..." Shou didn't know how to answer that. Without Hiroto, he couldn't bring himself to ride in a car -- even in a train car -- and without Hiroto, he couldn't bring himself to enter The Q for a drink or for Saga and Tora's concert. The fear of restriction and suffocation was still too great, yet Hiroto manages to make him forget everything. In a way, he was still claustrophobic, but everything was fine when Hiroto was by his side. Was it something like that virtual reality Kamijo-sensei had mentioned before? Shou wasn't quite sure, so he simply answered with, "I suppose."

Kamijo-sensei raised a skeptic eyebrow. "You can stop by my office anytime," he said before nodding his head towards the door leading to Hiroto's room. "You know the boy in there?"

Boy? Shou repeated in his mind -- dumbfounded and flabbergasted. He should know that Hiroto's a legal adult.

"We're roommates," Shou answered to the neuropsychologist. "Is something the matter?"

Kamijo-sensei's icy blue orbs stared directly at Shou.

"During the accident, he's knocked his head and hit his brain. It's not enough to cause permanent brain damage, but there is damage nonetheless. Parts of the limbic system of the brain, which support the sense of smell, emotion, behavior, and long-term memory, has been damaged; fortunately, it's only mild damage. It appears that he had enough sense to protect his head when he realized he was crashing -- with aid of the air bag and seat belt as well.

"While his body is functioning properly, he has -- in fact -- lost several of his memories, and from what I can make out, it's a few years' worth of memories... It's possible that he is suffering from post-traumatic amnesia, an organic amnesia that results from physical damage, where the period of amnesia reflects the damage taken. I doubt it though, considering that the extent of his head injury is similar to that of whiplash. He should have only forgotten that he was in a car accident.

"On the other hand, it might also be a dissociative amnesia, which results from psychological causes. Earlier, his friends stopped by and told me that his mother is in this very same hospital. She also was a victim of a car accident, and, perhaps, Ogata-kun doesn't want to remember the memories triggered during his accident. Alas, I don't have enough information to produce a sufficient explanation. As I have said earlier, he has lost a few years of his memories, but the amnesia could be transient. It's a possibility, but nothing's for certain."

&&
Hiroto woke up to the smell of crisp roses that morning. As the rays of the sun had poured over his skin, his brown eyes first focused on the vase of flowers. There were white and red roses, matured and thornless, within a crystal glass vase on top of a tray holding a white box. Hizaki-san, the nurse, had told him the cake and the flowers were from the same person -- a beautiful brown haired young man with gorgeous eyes and a surprisingly thin body.

Hiroto's first guess was Takashi, but he couldn't wrap his mind around the prospect of Takashi being beautiful. He was good-looking, Hiroto supposed, but Hiroto would never call Takashi beautiful -- handsome, maybe, but not beautiful...not that Takashi wasn't beautiful. He supposed Takashi was beautiful in someone else's eyes. Plus, Hiroto had never noticed Takashi's eyes. Hiroto didn't have that sort of interest in him. He couldn't say the same about Shinji though; every now and then, Hiroto would see some kind of affection in Shinji's eyes for Takashi. That affection may or may not be love, but -- whatever it was -- it was genuine. It kind of made him lonely just thinking about it.

After he woke up, a doctor had told him what had happened. Hiroto happened to be driving on the mountains last night, and then he had crashed because of the rough weather. He was taken to the emergency room when one of his acquaintances happened to find him after calling him. The surgeons managed to stop the excessive bleeding and drain the overload of blood within his body. Although his body was functioning well, they found that a part of his brain was damaged. His memories were gone -- maybe temporarily, maybe not.

Upon hearing the door click, Hiroto turned his head curiously, wondering who it could possibly be. Takashi and Shinji had visited him earlier with their senpai from high school, Nao-san, before the three of them had gone to work. Aki had already stopped by before leaving for his company as well. Hiroto did wonder where his mother was though. It would be natural for her to rush over to his side, worried, if she heard about his accident.

Nonetheless, the fact that all four visitors were mystified by his loss of memories did not change. If you included the doctors, several more individuals were puzzled by his sudden loss of memories. (Apparently, with the mild trauma, he was supposed to have forgotten his accident and his accident only.) Even Hiroto himself was bewildered by the sudden news. For instance, Hiroto was currently 21 years old in the year 2012, but he felt no different than being seventeen in 2008. Sometimes, he wondered if his guests were playing a prank on him, but that was unlikely since it was obvious everyone had matured in some way, shape, or form -- especially his brother.

Additionally, for some odd reason unknown to Hiroto, his heart had skipped a beat, his stomach had fluttered -- as if with butterflies -- and flipped, and his lungs had stopped functioning -- causing a breath to hitch in his throat.

Wha-what is this? Hiroto screamed in his mind as he forced himself to smile and greet the stranger entering his room.

Suddenly, Hizaki-san's words repeated in his head. "Oh? The cake and the roses? They came from a beautiful young man with gorgeous eyes. Poor thing must have been really worried about you though; he's so thin!"

Hiroto had to admit, the person standing in front of him was beautiful. His light brown hair gleamed a faint red in the natural light of the sun, and -- as he basked in the sunlight -- his fair skin appeared so flawless. Just as Hizaki-san had said, the tranquil brown of his eyes was absolutely gorgeous. His choice of clothing did nothing to ruin the princely aura he carried about him either. He wore a black woolen moto-jacket zipped up with a pair of light gray jeans tucked into a pair of black boots.

When he smiled, Hiroto felt himself swooning.

Is this okay? he asked himself. What about Waka? Shouldn't you be worried about her? Wait, didn't Takashi say you broke up with her, older Hiroto?

"How are you doing?" the stranger asked Hiroto. His velvety voice was not helping Hiroto's current state. He even sat right beside Hiroto, allowing the boy to see more of his visage. Then the blonde noticed that the smile on his lips faltered and wavered as he encouraged himself to ask the question that was pestering him on the inside, "Do you remember me?"

Hiroto pursed his lips together and collected himself. "I'm sorry," Hiroto told him, "but may I ask who you are?"

The stranger's eyes flashed hurt, and Hiroto wished he could take back his words. He felt his stomach sink and immediately wanted to cry upon seeing his reaction to Hiroto's response. He wanted to blurt out, "I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" over and over again until the stranger felt better. His fingers twitched within his lap before they instinctively reached out to the stranger. They paused in midair as Hiroto realized what he was doing, but before Hiroto could retract them, the stranger had grasped his hand -- finishing what Hiroto himself had started. A spark ran through Hiroto's fingers and then all throughout his body, shocking his entire being.

"I'm your roommate, Shou," he answered. A gentle smile that was meant to ease Hiroto's heart slipped on his lips smoothly and gracefully, but Hiroto couldn't help but feel as if Shou was trying to comfort himself as well. "Don't worry about forgetting me," the brunet continued. "I'm more concerned if you forgot about your puppy."

"My puppy?" Hiroto repeated with a tilt of his head. As the words registered in his head, he bounced with energy. "Do I really have a dog?!" he exclaimed -- excitement evident in his voice. He had always wanted a pet dog, particularly one that was adorable and had plenty of energy. "You're not playing around, are you?"

Hiroto noted how Shou's smile seemed to have wavered, becoming somewhat bitter, when he admitted to not remembering his pet. By the time Hiroto blinked though, the bitterness and agonizing darkness vanquished -- without a trace left behind -- and Hiroto immediately wanted to ask Shou if he was a magician. "I'll bring him tomorrow," Shou promised, letting go of Hiroto's hand, and standing up. "You're supposed to be discharged tomorrow, right? We'll come pick you up."

"But the hospital doesn't allow pets," Hiroto reasoned.

Shou smiled. "So what?" he chirped. "That hasn't stopped you before." Hiroto wanted to ask him to explain his words, but Shou had raised his hand. Hiroto flinched, thinking that Shou may have wanted to slap some sense into him, before relaxing at the touch of a hand weaving its fingers through his hair. Hiroto found himself smiling at Shou's warmth. "I have to go to work now. I'll see you later, okay?" The taller man leaned forward, and Hiroto found himself unable to breath for the second time that day -- maybe even that hour -- as Shou placed a gentle kiss on his forehead.

"It's a good luck kiss for your recovery."

&&
Shou's heart ached, and his lungs constricted to the point where he wasn't able to breathe. He told himself not to cry and swallowed the oncoming tears. Shou leaned against the wall, knowing there was another hour before he had to leave for work, which was a forty minute walk from the hospital. He wasn't sure if he was grateful that Aoi had allowed him to take a few hours off today.

He bit his lower lip. What should he do? He wasn't able to face Hiroto right now. Even though the seventeen year old Hiroto was just flat-out plain adorable, a tug of guilt pulled at his heart strings. It felt wrong to go through the usual routine with Hiroto, as Kamijo-sensei advised him to, without feeling that he was using him. This Hiroto, with his bright eyes filled with childlike wonder, was innocent to what the Hiroto he knew for a week had lived through.

Shou didn't know if he wanted Hiroto to remember that agony, that darkness, and that misery.

The door beside him clicked open, and his heart raced. He attempted to compose himself, but Hiroto was already out the room. One of his hands held onto the sleeve of Shou's jacket -- almost afraid to actually touch the brunet -- while the other hand held onto the stand holding the IV drip. Hiroto's brown eyes stared up at Shou, displaying nothing but curiosity. Shou's lips parted, but Hiroto had beat him to being the first to speak.

"Are you sure we're just roommates?"

A soft smile touched Shou's lips. "Why?" Shou asked him just as curiously. "Did you think we were together?" He couldn't help but tease Hiroto. He found it extremely easy to do by the third day since he had moved into Hiroto's apartment. An amused chuckle danced past his lips from his throat as he assured the younger that they were only friends.

Hiroto's cheeks flushed red as he averted his eyes. The smile on Shou's lips widened. This Hiroto was not much different from the Hiroto he knew. He wasn't good at lying, nor was he skilled at hiding his embarrassment.

"When do you have to go to work?" Hiroto muttered -- changing the subject abruptly. "Do you have to leave right away?" Shou watched as he pursed his plush lips yet again while fiddling with his thumb.

"Not right away," Shou answered honestly, "but as soon as possible."

"Then...can you stay with me a little longer?" Hiroto questioned meekly. "Can you tell me what kind of person I am...?"

Shou's hand found itself removing Hiroto's hold on the sleeve of his jacket, so he could hold Hiroto's hand instead. Gently, softly, and as kindly as he could, he told Hiroto, "You are you -- no one else -- beautiful, unabashed, and ambitious." The color on Hiroto's cheeks grew brighter -- glowing -- and he attempted to hide his face under his bangs. Shou cupped Hiroto's chin and lifted his head up. "I said beautiful, didn't I? There's no need for you to hide your face...although you are pretty modest when it comes to others complimenting you."

Hiroto teared up before clinging onto the front of Shou's jacket, burying his fingers near the taller man's chest. "My chest hurts for some reason," he murmured. "It really hurts." Shou's eyes widened -- surprised at the blonde's sudden actions -- before hesitantly wrapping his arms around Hiroto's back.

His gaze softened into a tenderness when Hiroto relaxed in his hold. His muscles loosened up, lowering his defense, and thus allowed a silent wail to rumble from Hiroto's throat. Once the blonde began to tremble in Shou's arms, the taller man tightened his embrace and shushed him as a mother would to her crying child. Softly, he began to hum before uttering quietly lyrics.

"You wield the words that we should listen to.
You want to put old shackles on.

"Rulers and theories,
instinct and insight,
which one is better?
Are you ready?

"Even if you laugh, even if you cry, the answer doesn't appear
Please watch the 'Quiz' TV show.

"Let someone's dream refrain,
There's no charm in the scenery you can see.
It's just the pointless struggling that you dream of,
but it would be good if you can destroy it then recreate it..."

Hiroto pulled away from Shou with shock painted all over his face. "The melody to that song, and that song itself..." he whispered. "I wrote it."

Shou smirked. "Did I do it justice?" he inquired almost pompously and pridefully.

After he had returned home to the hospital the other night, he had found Mogu pawing at Hiroto's game rack. Curiosity taking the better of him, he had went through the cases one by one and ended up pulling out a hidden flash drive. He had plugged it into Hiroto's Macbook and found a jackpot of original compositions -- some of which he wrote lyrics to after feeling inspired. He had ended up staying up all night, wondering if he had met Hiroto's expectations for the songs' messages. On another note, it was a perfect distraction from thinking about Hiroto's condition.

Hiroto nodded dumbly. "D-Did you name it?" he spluttered out.

Shou grinned. "Did you want me to? I've been calling it 'Innocence.'" Shou refrained himself from saying, "It was named and written after you."

Before Hiroto could say anything, Shou led him back to his room and said he had to leave for work. After Shou tucked Hiroto into bed and made sure he was comfortable, he pivoted on his heel and headed to the door. But before he could close the door, Hiroto blurted out, "I liked it! I liked the song -- very much!" A smile slipped onto Shou's lips, but he wasn't sure if he was content or not. Would the Hiroto he had moved in with have said the same thing? Or would he have thrown something at his head?

Shou sighed to himself through his nose, hoping that Hiroto didn't hear it. Maybe he didn't know Hiroto as well as he thought he did.

"Next time," Hiroto added a little more softly, noticing Shou's silent disposition, "let's eat cake together. I wanted to eat it with the person who brought it here... It was you, wasn't it?"

Shou bit his lower lip, fighting back the flutter of hope in his stomach, before answering, "Mm, yeah. It was me. Next time, okay?"

&&
Rain was pouring down heavily, violently, and Hiroto wished that it would stop. The blurred drops of the rain against his window made it difficult to gaze out of his bedroom window and into the night sky. He couldn't find any stars. Hiroto pursed his lips and heaved a sigh through his nose.

The dark haired teenager flipped through the pages of his notebook and hurriedly wrote down a few notes after strumming another chord on his guitar. For some odd reason, he couldn't fall asleep this night. He didn't ponder on the reason for too long since he had a chance to work on his new song. However, his night was ruined -- completely ruined. Aki had slammed open the door to his bedroom and before he could ask his brother what was wrong, Aki's outburst silenced even the rain.

Hiroto stared out of the window of his hospital room. He had adjusted to the smell of disinfectants, to the sound of wheels squealing outside his door, to the sound of clicking heels, to the sound of hushed whispers, and even to the sound of raised voices. However, he hadn't gotten used to the presence of the roses, and the cake that was disgesting in his stomach left a sweet taste in his mouth that he couldn't get rid of.

Hizaki-san told him what the roses meant, and he couldn't just shrug them off as a coincidence.

"Red roses stand for love and passion. White roses stand for innocence and purity. Together, they represent unity. Thornless roses mean 'love at first sight,' and mature roses display gratitude."

Hiroto turned away from the window and buried himself underneath the covers.

Shou... I want to see you...

It was late at night, and there was nothing for him but sleep. Hiroto couldn't sleep though. If he slept, he would be surrounded by darkness. He would be surrounded by a darkness that would keep on haunting him. It swallowed him whole, suffocating him, and taunted him and his heart. He was Hiroto, but who was Hiroto? He had crashed, but how had he crashed?

The only thing he could seem to remember amongst all of the mayhem was a pair of red lights -- tail lights -- flashing in his eyes. Never before had Hiroto felt so threatened and so terrified by tail lights. All it took to send a shiver down his spine was a flicker of their red glare. He had never been so unnerved, but why was he so unsettled?

Then, after the tail lights, there a shadow with a smile like a crescent moon. However, if he had told the doctor such, he was sure to be labeled a loon and thrown into an asylum. Shadows don't smile, nor do they move or drive cars.

Besides, phantoms cannot possibly exist...

Even though he repeated this in his mind over and over, Hiroto was still hopelessly afraid and absolutely mortified. He wished for the night to hurry and pass. He only wanted to bask in the light; he only wanted to bathe in Shou's light, a light so warm and tender.

Shou... Who are you? What are you?

&&
CAMEOS: Kamijo and Hizaki of Versailles~

A/N: Uhm, so, yeah... I get this feeling that there's going to be plenty of shouting later, so might as well update today, right? Tomorrow (Friday in my time zone), I need to catch up on a couple of things anyways. Plus, the following Saturday, I was hoping to help out my friend with her project after helping my mother set up the Internet in her home and such. I also need to read a book by the end of this week -- I made it my goal -- for English Lit. Out of thirteen chapters though, I've only read two. I'm not too keen on reading novels right now since I've been focusing on strengthening my arithmetic skills. Err, this makes today my only free time. :P

In more chapter related comments, what do you think (chapter-wise and future-wise)? Hiroto did wake up, but did he wake up as you hoped or as you expected? You can bash at me for making him like...this here. As for the chapter title, Hiroto had indeed mentally regressed, yes, that's what it stands for, and it also means that Shou's back to square one. If you think about it optimistically, the retry might bring the results you want. It happened to me today after I made an error in one of my mathematical problems. :3

Now, I have to fix my mother's iPod even though I'm not a engineering major or anything. I'm more of a biology person. *points to Kamijo-sensei's briefing* I actually had a whole conversation with my instructor about brain damage today. It was pretty fun. XD Anyways, I have to get back to my studies, too~ So how about some comments? :D

[Next Chapter]