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I'm in Kalispell for the weekend. I didn't want to come but my mom informed me on the phone that dad was thinking of having Cookie put down. So naturally, I started crying and they talked to me about all her problems. Then they were like "well, you don't -have- to come..." but of course I would now.
I just sit and look at her and I don't know what to do. She doesn't look that bad but every so often I notice something. Like when she took forever trying to stand up. She peed on the floor without asking to go out and my mom freaked out. She complained as she cleaned and I just sat there on the couch, staring at Cookie as she laid on the floor. Then mom came to say goodnight and I didn't say much so after I love you and goodnight, she just said "Sorry" and went to bed.
Sometimes I feel like they are putting her to sleep just because they don't want to clean up after her anymore. And then I feel guilty that I'm not here to take care of her. I really wish that I could because I can't stand to see her suffer. She's happy but she's old. I know that eventually she'll have to be put to sleep, but I don't want to let go. I guess that's being selfish but I still see life in her. I see her smiling when she looks at me. She doesn't seem unhappy. She doesn't seem like she should be put to sleep yet.
http://free.hostdepartment.com/i/ischiagra/pics/cookster.jpg
I'm going to miss her so much.
I just sit and look at her and I don't know what to do. She doesn't look that bad but every so often I notice something. Like when she took forever trying to stand up. She peed on the floor without asking to go out and my mom freaked out. She complained as she cleaned and I just sat there on the couch, staring at Cookie as she laid on the floor. Then mom came to say goodnight and I didn't say much so after I love you and goodnight, she just said "Sorry" and went to bed.
Sometimes I feel like they are putting her to sleep just because they don't want to clean up after her anymore. And then I feel guilty that I'm not here to take care of her. I really wish that I could because I can't stand to see her suffer. She's happy but she's old. I know that eventually she'll have to be put to sleep, but I don't want to let go. I guess that's being selfish but I still see life in her. I see her smiling when she looks at me. She doesn't seem unhappy. She doesn't seem like she should be put to sleep yet.
http://free.hostdepartment.com/i/ischiagra/pics/cookster.jpg
I'm going to miss her so much.