(no subject)
I guess I should take my medicine again... I"m having a hard time without it but I don't want to take it anymore... I dont want to rely on stupid pills to feel okay... and i never feel happy when i take them. just sorta numb, sorta happy sometimes. i guess i have to try another prescription... but i don't want to take medicine. i want to be better without it. i want to be a better person. i want to not get mad at everything. i want to not cry all the time. i want to be motivated. i want to compose. i want to be good at music.
I miss Jeremy and its only been a little while since we talked last. Like 15 minutes or something, i lost track of time. I'm so scared that I'm going to do something wrong. I jump at everything, thinking something bad, when its not true. I know its not true, so why does it come up? I'm really mixed up, confused, scared... I love him and I know he loves me, but there's always this flicker of doubt. How could someone love me like this?
I need to just stop thinking so much... maybe if i could just stop thinking for awhile.
I miss Nick so much. I wish he were still here. I wish he wasn't dead. I wish I could go and get a big hug from him and tell him how much I loved him.
I miss Jeremy and its only been a little while since we talked last. Like 15 minutes or something, i lost track of time. I'm so scared that I'm going to do something wrong. I jump at everything, thinking something bad, when its not true. I know its not true, so why does it come up? I'm really mixed up, confused, scared... I love him and I know he loves me, but there's always this flicker of doubt. How could someone love me like this?
I need to just stop thinking so much... maybe if i could just stop thinking for awhile.
I miss Nick so much. I wish he were still here. I wish he wasn't dead. I wish I could go and get a big hug from him and tell him how much I loved him.