Stratogos Legacy 8.1
Yes, FINALLY. No sooner had I gotten to the point where I had played enough to post, then Photobucket decided to have a grand attack of fuckery with me, and up until last night I hadn't figured out how to SNEAK AROUND THAT SONOVABITCH RAAARGHGHHGHH ANGER, RAGE.
Anyway. BEHOLD. THE STRATOGOS LEGACY LIVES ON. And now that I've figured out how to get around Photobucket when it's FUCKING WITH ME, albeit that it is way more complicated than before, THERE WILL BE MORE STRATOGOS. AND MORE ASYLUM. AND MORE SIDESTORIES.
AND MAYBE.
MAYBE.
SOME OF. THE. SUPER. SUPER. SEKRET. NEW. LEGACY. I HAVE STARTED.
imeanwhat.
Warning: Language, gays, lesbians, and general Stratogos awesomeness that you know you missed. Don't lie to me.
We open with Styxx being AWESOMELY EVIL. You will be noticing a trend in evil this update, folks. Not since Aaron has there been such EVAHL.
Because we have ANNIEEEEE, creepy staring Annie who STAAARES AT ME. HOLY SHIT ANNIE I MISSED YOUUUU.
Othello would just like to tell everyone that he's missed them and to look both ways before crossing the street.
I fucking adore you two.
Othello: Congrats on actually being a hottie, dude I brought home from work.
D:
The cats. They're still awesome. Just FYI.
It's time for toddler!Ranseur to grow up! Sorry about this picture. Apparently, I'm a retard and I can't tell the difference between the "Pause" and the "Screencap" buttons. Durr hurr hurr!
Aaand here the little bugger is, all made over!
D'aww. He's pretty cute. Doesn't quite compete with Annie, though. <3
BAMF.
O________O OH. MY GOD. WHAT.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
*cries* Othello and Armando aged up at the same time. Here's Armando.
Aaaand here's Othello! XD I'M SORRY I COULDN'T RESIST THE 'STACHE. I tried several times subsequent to remove it, but it just SUITS HIM FOR SOME INSANE REASON.
Ranseur: HAAAAY OLD GRAMPA. OLD. YOU'RE OLD, GRAMPA. OLD. YOU GOT OLD. OLDOLDOLD.
Annie: Homework? D: Do not waaant
Annie: Listen Pooka, this math assignment is gonna take up most of my afternoon, so I'm gonna need you to fill in for me in scaring the SimGoddess, 'kay?
Pooka: MA'AMYESMA'AM. ACTIVATING CRAZYFACE.
Much to my delight, Ranseur brings home this little boy. This is Holobel, and he is Faun and Jericho's third child.
Yes, those are little horns you can see poking out underneath his hair. HORNS ARE NEAT. I WANTED TO DECORATE THE LITTLE GUY, OKAY.
Ren and Holo are the best of buddies. It's actually pretty adorable.
...Well, that is a mighty awkward conversation to be having when you are TWO GRADE-SCHOOL BOYS.
Also, WTF HOLO +500.
Ren: My family's full of sluts. My Grandfathers are banging each other all over the house, not to mention my parents!
Holo: I know, man, my Mom and Dad have done the deed on every surface of our hou--
Me: I AM NOT LISTENING TO YOU TWO ANY MORE.
For once, Annie is the normal child, and plays calmly with her cousin Vincent.
Well, that's only a thousand shades of adorable.
But enough of infants in this house! I'm sick of infants. Let's get on with the Heir Race, shall we?
OH SWEET JESUS,
HALBERD IS ADORABLE!
SQUEEE! He got more of his Dad's features than his brother and sister did. And I love his genetics!
Sloppy - 3
Outgoing - 10
Active - 7
Playful - 10
Grouchy - 2
Darcy: HELLOOO, I AM TIRED BUT I HAVE THIS BABY
Halberd: Don't drop me.
Darcy: I WANT TO SLEEP BUT WTF IS THIS BABY.
Halberd: Seriously. Don't drop me. I'm so fucking cute.
Yeah, you think it's cute, but the truth is that the cat rolled onto her back and is too fat to right herself.
Armando and Othello absolutely love their grandbabies.
They're always playing with them, tucking them in, helping them with homework.
IT'S SO CUTE.
Annie, for some reason, loves to be read to. She makes the best faces in the process, too.
Othello: "...Here, here! It is the beating of his hideous heart!"
Annie: I like it best when you make the blood-gurgling noises, Grandpa Othello.
KAHAHAHA, Darcy got promoted! Captain Hero, bizzatches.
Random comparison of the kidlings that I took for some reason. I don't know why, but I just like Annie's face more than Ren's.
Snerk. Manly PJs thar, Ren.
HOLY SHIT, DEMON ANNIE SLEEPS WITH HER EYES OPEN!
HEAD FOR THE HILLS! HIDE YOUR BABIES!
You might think that Annie, in the background, is in shock over her great-grandmother's nightly transition to hirsute. This is not the case. Annie, like me, is freaking out that her grandfather can turn his head like the little girl from The Exorcist.
Butterflies in the living room. A strange, yet oddly charming glitch.
This update has been severely lacking in Franziska. This will be remedied now.
Friska: ANGER. I HAZ IT.
Friska: Where exactly do all these sproglets keep coming from?
Friska: I think I'll just squeeze this one until it stops making noise.
No one pays Ranseur any attention, so he plays with the cats all the time.
ALL of the Stratogos kids have, at some point or another, been obsessed with the little toy oven, but Ren is worse than all of them. Every morning, and most of every night, I find him in front of that thing.
And STILL, despite this, he continues to be epic fail.
Ren: OM NOM NOM
;-; I'M SORRY, THIS PICTURE IS SO CUTE.
LOL. This is not Annie failing. This is Annie waiting until her brother made his next failtastic muffin, and then STEALING IT ON HIM.
Ren followed her all the way out to the kitchen with "Eat" in his queue, then stood there staring at her as she ate it in front of him.
I ADORE YOU, ANNIE.
All things considered, the two elder kids actually get along pretty well.
Things in the rest of the house are somewhat more dysfunctional.
Plaga: We may haz... a TRAITOR in our midst.
Othello: HELLO, ASSHOLES!
So, while I was staying at my Aunt's house, I started playing the Sims in front of my normally-indifferent best friend.
She got kind of obsessed with the Stratogoses and played them with me the whole way up to the end of this update. Othello and Armando were her FAVORITES, d'aww.
I don't blame her, the two of them are FRACKING ADORABLE.
/spam
LOL, this never stops in this house. Luckily it never gets old, either. :DDD
So, Raven's actually kind of a bitch. I caught her badmouthing Armando and shoving him around and stuff.
Raven: ...Uh.
Darcy: Hi, honey! Hey--wait. Dad?
Othello: ohshit
Despite what you might think, this isn't a representation of the marital life. Darcy and Raven, like the rest of this fucking family, are still pissed off about that GODDAMN ROBBER.
And speaking of which:
LMAO. THE ROBBER CALLS TO TALK TO ANNIE.
If I doubted she was amazing before, this has sealed it for me. EVEN THE ROBBER KNOWS THAT ANNIE IS AWESOME.
Update: Halberd is still cute.
He gets tons of attention, just like Annie did. Which I guess means that the family doesn't play favorites, they just don't like Ren.
Unless only his mother and great-grandmother are home, because then he wanders around to the back of the house and plays in puddles to amuse himself.
Bastard.
Othello: Now, Armando, I have to make a good impression in front of the recruit, so there's to be no--
Armando: <3
Othello: OH GOD I CAN'T RESIST. I LOVE YOU ARMANDO I MISSED YOU WHILE I WAS AT WORK KISS MEEEE
Matthew: ...Now I understand all the giggles about the general.
Othello: Cheer up, recruit! Here's a hug!
Shut up, Othello is the best general evar. XD
Annie: DADDY, DADDY! I GOT AN A+!
Darcy: MY DAUGHTER IS SO SMART! I LOVE YOU, HONEY!
Ranseur: DADDY, DADDY! I GOT AN A+!! ...Daddy?
Darcy: I sure do love you, cat!
See? No one likes him. LOL.
Aaand Halberd explodes into kidhood on the front lawn!
Awww, what a cutie!
Halberd: RAAAWR, I'M KILLING EVERYTHING
Halberd: Wait. Not really.
Little split personality there, Hal? :V
Age does not bring about a change in hobbies.
Although apparently he HAS started stealing everyone's friends.
Oni: WELCOME HOME GUYZ!!! DID U HAVE A GOOD DAY AT SKULE? :D
Ranseur, little suck up that he is, rushes to greet Darcy every single day.
I was getting sick of that Matthew guy Othello kept bringing home, so I let Fernando the Cowplant eat him.
Othello was... not very happy D:
Holy shit guuuys, a birthday is Annie!
YE GADS, HOTNESS AHOY
She rolled Family, with the LTW to become Education Minister. Her turn-ons are makeup and black hair. She hates swimsuits.
Even the cat has been staggered by Annie!
With her birthday does not come the almost mandatory messiness that accompanies teenhood, however. Those 10 Neat points are never going to die.
Annie: *sneer* Goddamn this house is dirty. But it falls to me to clean it! Rapture!
Annie: Rapture, I tell you, Styxx! RAPTUUUURE!!
Styxx: YOU PUT ME DOWN RITE NAO
D'AWWW. Right after cleaning the counters, Annie's next autonomous action was to read to Halberd. Actually, she tried several times in succession, but the little guy was always busy!
It's 12 A.M. and the kids are in bed, but where are the adults?
If it's the Stratogos household, THEY'RE PROBABLY CLUSTERFUCKED ON THE LAWN.
Halberd: EW MOM, DO NOT WANT.
Jesus, what is with these kids? Annie hated Raven, too!
It's your own fault your energy bar isn't maxed, you retard, you stayed up half the night. Now get the fuck up and go to work.
Halberd has kind of a weird obsession with Ranseur. He even wakes up all "HI REN!!!!1!1!11"
Maybe he's the only one in the house who seems to like his pink-clad brother. Or then again, maybe he just really likes pretending to shoot him.
The time comes for Plaga one day while the kids are at school. ;____;
So long, Plaga! You were nearly as awesome as your dad!
Ten seconds later, Grimmy returns for Oni. WHAT THE HELL GRIM. MY CAAATS
;___; Oni, I know we got off on the wrong foot when you ran away, but you were awesome. You'll BOTH be missed.
Teen!Annie returns home! I THINK SHE'S HOT, OKAY. I'M SORRY IF YOU DISAGREE.
ZOMG, SHE BRINGS HOME SABRIA!
Sabria and Ssrili have been teenified! They are Holobel's big sisters, for the record. THEY ARE COOL.
A day in the life of Ranseur:
Do homework.
Then nap on the couch until dinner!
Yeah. Ranseur is BORING.
Although I don't blame him entirely. Halberd brought Holobel home, only to have the little guy mesmerized by Annie's overnight development of a rack.
ANNIE TALKING TO HOLOBEL SPAM
I LOVE YOU SO HARD, ANNIE.
Holobel: Anniiiiie, come over and talk to meeee!
Annie: I can't, the wishing well is on fire.
Holobel: ...What is that, some kind of euphamism for somethi--?
Annie: NO, DIPSHIT, THE WISHING WELL IS ACTUALLY ON FIRE.
NOOOO! I HAD JUST GOTTEN THAT!!
As pissed as I am, HOLY SHIT I NEED TO GO ZOOM IN ON THEM ALL.
Armando: WTF is this fire? You better gtfo, fire.
Phoenix: Wait, what am I doing here freaking out? I have my own house which is much safer than this one!
Othello: SWEET FLAMING JESUS ON A STICK, FIRE
Darcy: You know what I like? Burritos. I love burritos.
Othello: FIRE FIRE HOLY CRAP ON A CRACKER FIRE
Raven: *LEAPS THROUGH WINDOW TO ESCAPE*
I love you, Stratogos family.
I totally used the Extinguish All Fires cheat. I'm not even ashamed. Fuck if I'm going to let LIGHTNING take away my wishing well before I'd even used it.
Alright, Annie! Go to it!
And Annie's first kiss is nao, just before the arrival of the bus! I think her young gentleman friend has been in earlier legacy posts, but I don't remember him really.
Okay, this is just here for the cute. I'm sorry.
Aaand it's time for Ranseur to explode into teenhood!
His first action before I can even make him over is to congratulate Annie. Congratulate her for what, I have no idea.
And here he is! Cute, but... he's no Annie.
Although he does have some pretty epic teen angst going on! YOU GREW UP WELL. WHINY WHORE.
He rolled Knowledge with the LTW to become a Ballet Dancer, LOOOOL. His turn-ons are custom hair and cleanliness, his turn-off is brown hair.
I have Ren wish at the wishing well, too, and--OHAI, ZOMBIE PAPERBOY.
Well, I guess Ren is batting for the other team! Looking back, I'm not surprised, really. XD
Ren: *headtilt*
Seriously, THEY DON'T BELIEVE IN NEW HOBBIES.
Except for Annie, who decides to start playing hacky-sack with her father. In their underwear. I DISAPPROVE OF THIS IN SO MANY WAYS YOU HAVE NO IDEA.
Annie's supar supar sekrets are not like a normal teenaged girl's. Annie's diary is full of the locations of bodies she's buried in the backyard.
The next day, Halberd finally wins the prize! XD
ZOMG REN BROUGHT HOME BIFF! Biff is like the family bicycle or something. EVERYONE'S had a ride!
Annie doesn't want to be left out, I guess!
Random bus shot because I like taking these for some reason. Also, all my teens come home smiling!
MORE RANDOM FRANZISKA SPAM BECAUSE THERE HASN'T BEEN ENOUGH, BWAHAHA
Friska: Hello, cat. Have you come to keep me company in my old age and loneliness?
Moribund: I IZ HEER FR DA PATZ AND DA NOMZ.
Old and lonely = not adjectives I would use to describe Franziska.
Friska: YEAH I AM STILL PRETTY MUCH THE HOTTEST THING EVER.
iawtc.
Ren runs outside to catch his boyfriend every morning.
Though what zombie!boy sees in him has yet to be determined.
RANDOM CUTENESS. Y U CUTE
Alright, enough of this! Onto teenhood, Halberd!
And teen Halberd is a cutie, which was to be expected.
Rolled Popularity with the LTW to become a Celebrity Chef. Likes jewellry and hard workers, but dislikes brown hair.
I'm really eager to send them to college, but I cram in Hal's first kiss before shoving them off.
OH NO. NO. NO NO NO NONONO SHE IS RELATED TO YOOOU! DX
Fine, whatever. It's off to college we go.
Assholes.
One last thing: It was a tough decision, but Styxx has been chosen as kitty!heir. She'll be makin' with the kittens when we come back!
Anyway! On to college!
*~*
And we'll start off with Halberd's YA picture! Damn. He is seriously fine.
YA Ranseur. As usual earning a "meh" from me.
And last but certainly not least, YA Anelace. ZOMG DEMON HOTNESS U R IT.
Annie is so freaking adorable! I'm really glad, because I like her SO much. XD
Annie: I DO NOT APPROVE OF THIS DORM. REMOVE ME. IMMEDIATELY.
Annie? Has a coffee problem.
THIS IS NOT A JOKE. Every time I turned around, she was off either ordering coffee, or in the bathroom shedding the effects of the coffee.
SHE ALONE COST ME OVER $200 IN COFFEE IN A SINGLE NIGHT. And she looks pissed about it.
Have the Stratogoses spawned simthetic? THE ANSWER IS YES I THINK.
Luckily she's not the only one in the family who suffers the affliction. Her brothers have the same problem, just not quite to the same extent. NOTICE THAT ALL OF THEM HAVE COFFEE, OR ARE OBTAINING COFFEE, IN THAT SHOT.
Sorry for the dark picture. I hate this club. XD
Halberd & Ranseur: *get jiggy with it*
Annie: *PUTS HER WEIGHT INTO IT*
Random Dormie: Hi, excuse me? Yeah. Do you have to dance here?
So, guys: have you guessed yet that Annie is TOTALLY HEIR?
~*~
XD I'm sorry, guys! I like to have heir polls, but Annie is just TOO much awesome for me not to heir with this generation. She'll be amazing, I promise!
That's it for this installment. Tune in again soon!
Next Time: College! AND LOTS OF IT.
~Iscarius