Moorhaven Asylum: Report 1
Hey guys!
I almost have enough images to post the Stratogos Legacy 8.1! I'm about a solid hour of play away, and I conveniently have a day off in which to do that. In the meantime, I wanted to do something I have been meaning to do for a long, long time.
It's kind of disorganized, because... well, because it's an asylum. But that's never stopped anyone before, has it. 8D
Warning: Language, and crazies. And maybe lesbians.
~
Click here if you need a reminder on who's in the Asylum.
So, yeah, I know I said I was going to write this in story format, but I've come to the conclusion that to do that successfully, I'd've needed to plan the story out first, and that's just not useful in an Asylum situation.
Anyway...
Everyone remember this lovely lady? This is Cheshire.
Her cellmates. These are them. Well, some of them.
We're off to a fantastic start already, apparently.
Also, for the record: Bedlam.
Let it be said that he's hilarious.
First order of business when you're in an asylum = play hackysack, apparently.
Cheshire opts to try to make friends, because being friends with them gives the illusion that they won't try to take your eyes with scalpels while you're sleeping.
Bedlam: ZOMG, BOOBS
Yes. These things happen.
Luckily Cheshire isn't exactly shy.
...Ah. Three-bolters, I see.
Thank you, ACR. Can we zoom out for a second?
YES WE ARE IN AN ASYLUM ALRIGHT.
Bedlam: ^-^
Riding: ...
Also, Devon.
She is, for the record, made of lolz.
Pillow fights. Yes.
Because what else do you do in an asylum? :D
...Do I even want to know what's going on here?
Yeah. So Devon. Totally a paranoid schizophrenic. Just saying.
Saxon: LOLOLOL AHMUNNA EAT UR HIDE
I don't know what's going on here, either.
Devon: SOB SOB :D :D
Saxon: AWW, PEAS
Can I just state that I love these two? XD
Scalebor: SMELLY. DO NOT WANT PLZ
And now a moment in the lives of Sunder and Exetor.
Sunder: STARVING. I AM IT.
Exetor: CONGRATS ON MOVING IN, MAN. WITH ME. IN AN ASYLUM.
Sunder: LOL THX
This ends a moment in the lives of Sunder and Exetor.
Seriously. All anyone in this house ever does is HAY CONGRATS ON MOVING INTO THE ASYLUM, CRAZYFACE.
Riding: GASP!
Sunder: GASP!!
Exetor: *stands in the shower and frets*
Exetor: *frets* :D
Exetor: NOWAIT. THE WORLD IS A HORRIBLE PLACE WHY AM I SMILIIING
Saxon: foodplz.
Saxon: Aww, cheer up. Ticklez?
Exetor: TICKLEZ 8D
Exetor: NOWAIT THE WORLD IS A HORRIBLE PLACE
Exetor: THE PHONE IS RINGING THE WORLD IS A HORRIBLE PLACE
...Right.
Cheshire successfully makes it into the double bed. Hurrah!
Bedlam... doesn't.
In fact, he passes out in the most inconvenient location. The bathroom. Blocking off the single toilet from the rest of the household.
Scalebor was the only one who cared.
Not that he cared a LOT.
Exetor: *turns on the TV for the sole purpose of keeping Devon awake*
Devon: *mutters* I will slice you.
I just thought this was kind of cute. XD
Several hours later:
Bedlam: BAWWWWWWW
Yknow, I... don't think I've seen him actually use the shower. I PUT IT THERE FOR A REASON. WHINY WHORE.
He lay on the couch and sulked for the rest of the day.
Cheshire: *is adorable*
Riding: >8(
Saxon: *shifty eyes*
Sunder: THAT IS SO GROSS, SERIOUSLY
And then we ran out of food.
I can only imagine what a horror it is to be asked to bring groceries to this place. All the delivery folks are totally like "D:" when the call comes in. I guarantee it.
Cheshire: YAY, FUD :D
...Must you?
LOOK I JUST REALLY LIKE HOW THE ASYLUM LOOKS, OKAY.
...Although the inhabitants leave something to be desired.
Of course, it basically falls to Cheshire to cook.
Things start out normal enough.
Only to swiftly degrade.
Saxon: FUD DO WANT PLZ
Cheshire: I'm working on it.
Exetor: FUD PUT IT IN MY BELLY
Cheshire: ...
Fail vs. Win.
Cheshire and Devon are around each other ALL THE TIME, for some reason.
Poor muffin. I try to throw her into bed early, so she has an actual chance of securing a bed.
...Hm?
D'awww. Good! Eeeeverything is going according to plaaaan.
...EXCEPT FOR THIS. WHY DO I NOT SEE THIS ENDING WELL.
YEP, FIRST FIRE. THANK YOU, DEVON.
QUICK CHESHIRE! QUIIIICK
GOOD! PUT IT OUT PLZ
Cheshire: Wow, these people are retards.
Finally the fire gets put out with no casualties.
...Except for that.
And that.
Great. Both uncontrollable females losing their marbles at the same time. AWESOME.
Correction: both uncontrollable female FORTUNE Sims losing their marbles at the same time.
THIS IS NOT WHAT I SAGGED ON FOR D:
...
I was wondering when this would get around to happening.
Cheshire: SEX NAO, GTFO PLZ.
Magic.
Later that evening, Bedlam bestirs himself.
Bedlam: HAY SCUZE ME
What's your problem now?
...Oooh. I see Sunder's passed out in front of the toilet. Just like you did.
Bedlam: I DON'T CARE YOU SNIDE BITCH JUST FIX IT.
Scalebor: *worries*
Sorry. Even if my controllable could do anything about this, I'm not waking her up.
Bedlam: YOU BITCH
Several hours later:
Sunder: Wh... what happened? Where am I? D: Gosh, I sure hope nothing questionable happened to me while I was asleep I wasn't an inconvenience!
Oh, quit complaining. At least he has the sense to actually bathe himself in something that is not a sink.
They are still hanging around each other like crazy.
Time for some adorable Devon/Cheshire pillow fight spam!
/spam
I think we can all see what's coming at this point.
I did not endorse this.
Thank you, ACR. Thank you.
We don't see a whole lot of Riding anymore. Most of her time is spent out in front of the asylum, begging for change.
...Fuck you, Scalebor. Fuck you.
We're resigned to the couch.
It's been a long day.
It would seem that Devon is about to resort to cannibalism.
She's been in the red for almost three straight days. It's beyond me how she isn't dead yet.
Plus she's been waking up from nightmares almost every night.
So has Riding, for that matter. I'm actually kind of worried about Riding. She's worse off than anyone else in the asylum, and for the life of me I can't get her motives back up no matter how hard I try.
Right. Like I needed another reason to be scared of Exetor.
Some retard leaves a pile of trash on the floor, and guess what happens?
Sunder: ROACHES D:
I quit. You guys are on your own. >:O
Sunder: D:
This is the starting point of a horrible cycle of the flu--involving EVERYONE IN THE ASYLUM--that I still haven't been able to get rid of. Goddammit.
Spectacular.
AND ANOTHER ONE. LATER THE SAME NIGHT. MEANING I HAVE TO WAKE CHESHIRE UP SO NO ONE DIES.
She is not amused by this.
Riding/Exetor/Bedlam/Saxon: WE'RE ALIVE
Cheshire: Fuck y'all. I'm getting a shower.
She's pretty okay.
There has been a great deal of unintentional skilling, to the point where I'm preeeetty sure a bunch of the inmates have maxed Creativity.
Alternatively, there's also been a lot of crazy:
And now I leave you with an image that should give an accurate depiction of both
a) Riding's current mental state, and
b) the aslyum as a whole.
Yes. Those are dolls. FLYING. DOLLS.
Me too, buddy. Me too.
~
The Stratogoses will be back soon! In the meantime, enjoy!
~Iscarius