Another Chapter In My Life Comes To A Close
So yeah, it's been quite some time since I've posted, yes? I seem to have started a lot of my posts like that these past few months. Maybe there's a reason for that? Anyhoo, the school year is coming to a close and I'm tired. This semester has been far from stellar, though not the total cluster fuck of the last few. Hopefully I won't get kicked out! ^_-
With the close of the semester comes a few major events. First, the loss of Jenny, Lisa and Charlie to Japan for a semester. I don't know where I'll be when they get back. Maybe I'll be getting a teaching degree at UNL, maybe I'll be at another school (highly unlikely), maybe I'll just be working. In any case, I don't know how much I'll be seeing them after the year's end. That fact saddens me greatly. Many of my friends are folks who live here in Lincoln, or are going to live here in Lincoln. I don't have many friends who are from outside of Lincoln and plan on leaving after they graduate. What this means is that I'll have to get used to the idea of losing some friends, an event that hasn't happened since I graduated from high school. I've grown quite fond of the UNL crowd, but since I'm finishing my fifth year at the school, I need to realize that I have to start growing up. I can't remain a student forever, though truth be told there is part of me that fervently wishes that were possible.
Also coming to a close is my association with Anime Club. This is a topic I haven't broached with anyone save Ashley. The fact of the matter is that I just don't enjoy club any more. It's not because I'm an officer (seriously, what the hell have I done so far?), it's not even specific people (I don't really have problems with anyone). It's just that I don't enjoy the atmosphere any more. I don't like the constant noise, I don't like the crowds of rowdy people, I don't like the hectic pulse in the air. And while I don't dislike anyone at club, I am neutral on most of the members at this point. I'm just not friends with them. Does that make me a mean person? No. Does that mean I think they're stupid or annoying? No. I just don't know them and am growing tired of having a large friend group.
This is a thought warranting some expanded coverage, me thinks. See, all through my days of public schooling I was a loner. By high school I had a large network of friends, but only maybe two close friends. I got along fine with lots of people, I was just very closed off. When I started attending Anime Club I met a great deal more people, and got swept up into a large group of people that hung out regularly. It worked for a while for me. I enjoyed it, I feel I grew as a person because of it, but it was also extremely stressful for me. I'm just not used to managing large groups of friends, particularly drama-prone ones (let's be honest here, guys, I'm drama-attracting too). I just work better dealing with a small band of close friends rather than a large group of more distant ones.
There are many words that have been used to describe me. Words ranging from cold and abrasive, to aloof and elitist. Maybe I am. Maybe some part of me really is elitist because I don't like large groups and don't consider myself "friends" with very many people. I consider almost all of the people who read my LJ to be my friends (those of you who aren't my friends know who you are; if you're unsure, you're probably in the clear ^^).
What am I getting at? I can't deal with club much longer. After the new elections in the fall, I will probably stop attending club. It's nothing personal, if you still hold club dear that's fine. I don't any more. It's as simple as that. This isn't something that can be "discussed" my mind can't be swayed, it's just how I feel. I may or may not help with the Con. My self-preservationist side warns me to stay away for sanity's sake. My egotistical side wants to be a part of the organization for the "glory" such that there is. My philanthropic side wants to help to aid my friends. Club, though, will have to do without it's sexy taichou. I think they'll live ^_-
So where does that leave me? I mean, I won't be able to make new signatures anymore! Yeegods! What am I to do? I guess I'll have to find a new outlet for my artistic side, a new way to gift my friends works of my art. Truth be told, it will be odd not attending. I'll feel kinda sad, I mean, club was a major part of my life for the past few years, but I've moved on. I'll still see my friends from club, Dylan is still going to be running L5R (I hope), I'll still harass Zach and Dangela, I'll find some way to see Russ. Nick will probably still insert himself into the L5R sessions. ;P
Where does that leave the others? I wonder. What will life hold in store for me in the years to come? I am both excited and scared. I know I won't be facing it alone, but who will still stand by me? I guess only time can tell, when the silvery veil of the future is pulled back and we walk as friends into the unknown.
-Sexy Taichou
With the close of the semester comes a few major events. First, the loss of Jenny, Lisa and Charlie to Japan for a semester. I don't know where I'll be when they get back. Maybe I'll be getting a teaching degree at UNL, maybe I'll be at another school (highly unlikely), maybe I'll just be working. In any case, I don't know how much I'll be seeing them after the year's end. That fact saddens me greatly. Many of my friends are folks who live here in Lincoln, or are going to live here in Lincoln. I don't have many friends who are from outside of Lincoln and plan on leaving after they graduate. What this means is that I'll have to get used to the idea of losing some friends, an event that hasn't happened since I graduated from high school. I've grown quite fond of the UNL crowd, but since I'm finishing my fifth year at the school, I need to realize that I have to start growing up. I can't remain a student forever, though truth be told there is part of me that fervently wishes that were possible.
Also coming to a close is my association with Anime Club. This is a topic I haven't broached with anyone save Ashley. The fact of the matter is that I just don't enjoy club any more. It's not because I'm an officer (seriously, what the hell have I done so far?), it's not even specific people (I don't really have problems with anyone). It's just that I don't enjoy the atmosphere any more. I don't like the constant noise, I don't like the crowds of rowdy people, I don't like the hectic pulse in the air. And while I don't dislike anyone at club, I am neutral on most of the members at this point. I'm just not friends with them. Does that make me a mean person? No. Does that mean I think they're stupid or annoying? No. I just don't know them and am growing tired of having a large friend group.
This is a thought warranting some expanded coverage, me thinks. See, all through my days of public schooling I was a loner. By high school I had a large network of friends, but only maybe two close friends. I got along fine with lots of people, I was just very closed off. When I started attending Anime Club I met a great deal more people, and got swept up into a large group of people that hung out regularly. It worked for a while for me. I enjoyed it, I feel I grew as a person because of it, but it was also extremely stressful for me. I'm just not used to managing large groups of friends, particularly drama-prone ones (let's be honest here, guys, I'm drama-attracting too). I just work better dealing with a small band of close friends rather than a large group of more distant ones.
There are many words that have been used to describe me. Words ranging from cold and abrasive, to aloof and elitist. Maybe I am. Maybe some part of me really is elitist because I don't like large groups and don't consider myself "friends" with very many people. I consider almost all of the people who read my LJ to be my friends (those of you who aren't my friends know who you are; if you're unsure, you're probably in the clear ^^).
What am I getting at? I can't deal with club much longer. After the new elections in the fall, I will probably stop attending club. It's nothing personal, if you still hold club dear that's fine. I don't any more. It's as simple as that. This isn't something that can be "discussed" my mind can't be swayed, it's just how I feel. I may or may not help with the Con. My self-preservationist side warns me to stay away for sanity's sake. My egotistical side wants to be a part of the organization for the "glory" such that there is. My philanthropic side wants to help to aid my friends. Club, though, will have to do without it's sexy taichou. I think they'll live ^_-
So where does that leave me? I mean, I won't be able to make new signatures anymore! Yeegods! What am I to do? I guess I'll have to find a new outlet for my artistic side, a new way to gift my friends works of my art. Truth be told, it will be odd not attending. I'll feel kinda sad, I mean, club was a major part of my life for the past few years, but I've moved on. I'll still see my friends from club, Dylan is still going to be running L5R (I hope), I'll still harass Zach and Dangela, I'll find some way to see Russ. Nick will probably still insert himself into the L5R sessions. ;P
Where does that leave the others? I wonder. What will life hold in store for me in the years to come? I am both excited and scared. I know I won't be facing it alone, but who will still stand by me? I guess only time can tell, when the silvery veil of the future is pulled back and we walk as friends into the unknown.
-Sexy Taichou