Dear Raul....
i hate my self for loving someone so much to allow them to talk to me like shit... god no matter how bad you have treated me i stood by your side, trying to fucking love you... i gave up everything possible... but i can't give up you... my friends are the ones making me strong... they are the ground i stand on... i thought you were... i thought you were the one i was supposed to run to when i was sad, for you to wipe away my tears and tell me to cheer up and smile.. you say you love me... but then you say i'm not worth anything in the same sentence... how is that possible??? for you to love someone but them not be worth anything??? i tried my hardest for you just to love me... i had my friend drive me where ever you were just to be in your arms... just for me to kiss you even though you don't kiss back... no matter what you say to me i go and see you... even when you say you don't want to see me... talk to me... or even be with me... why do i still love you?? because i actually meant it... when you just went for what your dick thought was love... you said you want me to think... i think enough.... i can't think anymore... my family and friends are the ones stopping me from completely breaking... because they remind me that i'm a strong person and can get through this... i know i can... but it's just right now it hurts... it hurts a lot... to know that i tried so hard for you just to brush me away... but hey i'm still here loving you from a distance....