Say It Again, For Me
"No se puede vivir con tanto veneno
No se puede dedicar el alma
A acumular intentos
Pesa más la rabia que el cemento"
_!& Shakira
I have no escape, no sanctuary, no safe place. The stress, the agony, and the hopelessness is all stored in my chest, day in and day out. It has nowhere to go, I let it fester and it goes stagnant and I can't breathe.
And I can't keep drowning. I can't keep doing this to myself. I need to purge and I need catharsis and some kind of therapy, before I go crazy and before I hurt myself. So I was thinking, how did I survive the down times in the past? An answer escaped me for a minute and I believe it was denial but I have known the answer all along. I channeled my negative energy into writing, into scribbling, into painting, into making collages and type art.
The creative is sorely lacking in my life and I need to bring color and language. Somewhere between my second and third relationship, I severed all ties to the other half of my soul. And because of this castration, I am floundering twice as much.
For a rational mind, the idea of working out your feelings on a keyboard, or with paper, ink, glue and paint is elusive but the idea of going back to what I used to know is liberating. I have been straddling the tangible for too long, I need to close my eyes and let go. And brace myself against the flow of feelings and thoughts that will eventually pour from me.
With that in mind, I have started a blog, away from here, somewhere new to me, to work through my frustrations. Because in the end, I want there to be lightness again. I want to feel the way I used to feel, which is safe and secure. I desperately want to heal;
No se puede dedicar el alma
A acumular intentos
Pesa más la rabia que el cemento"
_!& Shakira
I have no escape, no sanctuary, no safe place. The stress, the agony, and the hopelessness is all stored in my chest, day in and day out. It has nowhere to go, I let it fester and it goes stagnant and I can't breathe.
And I can't keep drowning. I can't keep doing this to myself. I need to purge and I need catharsis and some kind of therapy, before I go crazy and before I hurt myself. So I was thinking, how did I survive the down times in the past? An answer escaped me for a minute and I believe it was denial but I have known the answer all along. I channeled my negative energy into writing, into scribbling, into painting, into making collages and type art.
The creative is sorely lacking in my life and I need to bring color and language. Somewhere between my second and third relationship, I severed all ties to the other half of my soul. And because of this castration, I am floundering twice as much.
For a rational mind, the idea of working out your feelings on a keyboard, or with paper, ink, glue and paint is elusive but the idea of going back to what I used to know is liberating. I have been straddling the tangible for too long, I need to close my eyes and let go. And brace myself against the flow of feelings and thoughts that will eventually pour from me.
With that in mind, I have started a blog, away from here, somewhere new to me, to work through my frustrations. Because in the end, I want there to be lightness again. I want to feel the way I used to feel, which is safe and secure. I desperately want to heal;