Some more thoughts
The nutter
You've got nobody to talk to, so you talk to yourself. Loud and constant rambling about the weird people around you. None of them is sane but you. You've seen the truth. You've forgotten how it is to interact with anyone but yourself. It doesn't worry you. Not anymore. Used to, when you were alone. Long time ago.
But no longer.
Now you've got yourself to talk to, the best audience of all. Most the time at least. sometimes you don't listen well enough and then you have to shout at yourself to waken up. To make you listen. You never can remember why you got angry in the first place, but it had to be important.
Right?
The mute
Losing something that defines you isn't an easy process, especially not dealing with it. Sure, you could ignore it, but try to ignore one of the essential things like your heartbeat gone.
In my case, my voice was hurt. Not completly gone, thank god, but hurt enough to be out of use for quite some time.
I'm a singer, now go figure.
When the doctor told me to shut up if i was interested in keeping my ability to speak and therefore sing, I did exactely that. Never before noticed to what extent I depended on talking.
No more telephone.
No more chatting.
No more listen to music, because I have to sing with it or hum the tune. Signs and gestures as the only way to communicate, my world is shattered. Unable to make any sarcastic remarks! NO! I wanted to throw myself to the floor and shout / cry myself hoarse.
Wait. I'm already hoarse. Damn!
You've got nobody to talk to, so you talk to yourself. Loud and constant rambling about the weird people around you. None of them is sane but you. You've seen the truth. You've forgotten how it is to interact with anyone but yourself. It doesn't worry you. Not anymore. Used to, when you were alone. Long time ago.
But no longer.
Now you've got yourself to talk to, the best audience of all. Most the time at least. sometimes you don't listen well enough and then you have to shout at yourself to waken up. To make you listen. You never can remember why you got angry in the first place, but it had to be important.
Right?
The mute
Losing something that defines you isn't an easy process, especially not dealing with it. Sure, you could ignore it, but try to ignore one of the essential things like your heartbeat gone.
In my case, my voice was hurt. Not completly gone, thank god, but hurt enough to be out of use for quite some time.
I'm a singer, now go figure.
When the doctor told me to shut up if i was interested in keeping my ability to speak and therefore sing, I did exactely that. Never before noticed to what extent I depended on talking.
No more telephone.
No more chatting.
No more listen to music, because I have to sing with it or hum the tune. Signs and gestures as the only way to communicate, my world is shattered. Unable to make any sarcastic remarks! NO! I wanted to throw myself to the floor and shout / cry myself hoarse.
Wait. I'm already hoarse. Damn!