Yo shorty, it's ya birthday
In 18 days. Whee :)
I go back to school on Monday. I have mixed feelings about that. I kinda miss CNU and the people there, but at the same time I'm sad to be leaving Jay. Someday the person I love the most will be together with me in places I love, wherever that may be.
It feels weird to call anything home. The Mill doesn't feel like home. My mom is there, so I feel home when I'm there, but I never really long for it or anything. I also don't really have a bedroom there yet, even though it's where all my stuff is. I feel at home at Jason's and I miss it when I'm away for a while, but there's definitely not enough room for both of us to live here. The dresser is overflowing, the room is constantly cluttered, and it just doesn't feel right living in his parents house. It sounds crazy, but I want to do my own laundry, I want to decorate my own space, I want to know that if I leave something out it isn't going to be moved, I want to cook meals for my fiance. Even though I share a room with Megan at CNU, I feel like our room is my own space. There is ample room for my clothes in the dresser, my desk has my stuff on it. The bed sheets, posters, curtains- I had a part in picking them all out. I feel great being in that space, I feel independent. There is one thing missing. Jason. Without him, I can never feel at home. He is my other half (sorry to use a cliche) and I need him in my life. I miss him so much that it makes CNU a very bittersweet place.
I can't wait until school is over. Or at least I can't wait til Jason moves to Newport News (if he decides he wants to) and we get our own aparment. I want a cat. I want to decorate. I want to buy a recipe book and screw up lots of meals trying to make something for him. I want to buy my own cleaning supplies, do my own laundry, be able to be free and independant from parents and rules.
Ugh. This is rough. Whoever said that 18 year olds are adults was wrong. I don't feel like an adult if there are still things I'm legally not allowed to do because of my age.
Moving on, I cannot believe that I'm going to be 19 in two weeks. That's insane. I don't feel old at all. I still feel like a chubby, awkward little kid on the inside. That being said, I also cannot believe Jason is going to be TWENTY! TWENTY!? That's insane.
I woke up at 7:50am and switched into an earlier computer science class. Brandon was gonna switch too, but by the time his lame dial-up got onto CNUlive the class was full. I also dropped stats cause I passed it (go me.) My books are on the way. Once I get to school I'm gonna buy new notebooks and school supplies.
I am cringing just thinking about all the dust that's bound to be in my dorm room right now.
Am I turning into a borderline OCD? I'm weird.. I can't stand if there is dust on the dresser, toothpaste in the sink, or spots on the mirror, but I leave clutter everywhere. What's up with that?
This was a looooong post.
I'm re-watching season four of Lost. Season five starts Wednesday! Eeeeeee!
I go back to school on Monday. I have mixed feelings about that. I kinda miss CNU and the people there, but at the same time I'm sad to be leaving Jay. Someday the person I love the most will be together with me in places I love, wherever that may be.
It feels weird to call anything home. The Mill doesn't feel like home. My mom is there, so I feel home when I'm there, but I never really long for it or anything. I also don't really have a bedroom there yet, even though it's where all my stuff is. I feel at home at Jason's and I miss it when I'm away for a while, but there's definitely not enough room for both of us to live here. The dresser is overflowing, the room is constantly cluttered, and it just doesn't feel right living in his parents house. It sounds crazy, but I want to do my own laundry, I want to decorate my own space, I want to know that if I leave something out it isn't going to be moved, I want to cook meals for my fiance. Even though I share a room with Megan at CNU, I feel like our room is my own space. There is ample room for my clothes in the dresser, my desk has my stuff on it. The bed sheets, posters, curtains- I had a part in picking them all out. I feel great being in that space, I feel independent. There is one thing missing. Jason. Without him, I can never feel at home. He is my other half (sorry to use a cliche) and I need him in my life. I miss him so much that it makes CNU a very bittersweet place.
I can't wait until school is over. Or at least I can't wait til Jason moves to Newport News (if he decides he wants to) and we get our own aparment. I want a cat. I want to decorate. I want to buy a recipe book and screw up lots of meals trying to make something for him. I want to buy my own cleaning supplies, do my own laundry, be able to be free and independant from parents and rules.
Ugh. This is rough. Whoever said that 18 year olds are adults was wrong. I don't feel like an adult if there are still things I'm legally not allowed to do because of my age.
Moving on, I cannot believe that I'm going to be 19 in two weeks. That's insane. I don't feel old at all. I still feel like a chubby, awkward little kid on the inside. That being said, I also cannot believe Jason is going to be TWENTY! TWENTY!? That's insane.
I woke up at 7:50am and switched into an earlier computer science class. Brandon was gonna switch too, but by the time his lame dial-up got onto CNUlive the class was full. I also dropped stats cause I passed it (go me.) My books are on the way. Once I get to school I'm gonna buy new notebooks and school supplies.
I am cringing just thinking about all the dust that's bound to be in my dorm room right now.
Am I turning into a borderline OCD? I'm weird.. I can't stand if there is dust on the dresser, toothpaste in the sink, or spots on the mirror, but I leave clutter everywhere. What's up with that?
This was a looooong post.
I'm re-watching season four of Lost. Season five starts Wednesday! Eeeeeee!