could have spent our summer sitting here making daisy chains...

[is_itanywonder]

lets skip the whole part where i haven't updated this journal in months and just skip to the now.

tomorrow is the last day of school. and i can't get over just how much ive changed this year and how much everything has changed.

this summer i have a bunch of resolutions and whatnot. but they don't really matter to me. i dont know, the important thing is just that i enjoy myself. and have fun. because really i didn't do enough of that this year, and just thinking about junior year makes me want to break out into hives. i lost a lot of friends this year and it was hard but thats what happens in high school; people grow apart. and it sucks and its not easy but thats how it is. eventually, someday you can become friendlier with them again and be able to look back and smile at all the good times you had, but theres going to be that transition period where you just can't face them. because it's hard to beleive you are anything less than best friends.

i think that maybe after this year and all the shit that happened and all the times i didn't think i could get through it... i am going to. because i really do have people that care about me and that i can trust. and i want to be happy now. i really actually do. so i'm going to be.