writing your tragedy
i love this song.
i feel lucky.
and sad. i feel that this pain in my chest is out of place.
there is definitly an emptiness in things. and beauty.
i am afraid of being constantly cold. and too thin. and bundled under layers and layers. i am going to miss hearing crickets, having the windows down, seeing blue and feeling warm. i'm dreading having to block out my time. having to do things that dont interest me. i sometimes refuse it. i want you, your time. it's a gift. i feel incredibly loved by you. and i love you.
today i went to see garden state again, this time with malpal. we dyed her hair darker brown before we went. i think it looks really pretty. i like spending time with her. we understand eachother on a lot of levels. the movie makes me so sad, even though they fall inlove and there is a happy ending.
today when i went to get my picture taken the photographer made me sad. she told me she was so happy that i was talking to her, because no one ever did. she told me i had a gorgeous face, and told me i reminded her of her sister. she made me feel lonely. but she did have a fiance, and love is a good thing. i think my eyes were closed in 3/4 of the pictures. she told me it wasn't my fault, i just have sensitive eyes.
my foot is asleep& it scares me.
where is this constant rush towards. what for? life is now, not later. i just wish more people would agree with that. i'm afraid of rushing. and losing out on something real. and yet i'm typing on a fucking live journal...
i want to borrowmy aunts sewing machine so i can make more skirts. i want to buy more cds, so i can listen to more music.
i am in the wierdest mood. i feel sad, but i can't place the source of the sadness. i feel funny.