& they'll believe that they knew me
as soon as i put on this music something inside automatically sinks.
i have to wake up tomorrow and go in town. i wish i wasn't so sleepy. i am a night person and when i get my second wind i hate to go to bed.
i feel like smiling.
i feel loved:) greg bought me my favorite candies and a card because he's sweet:) and then we went out for icecream&brownies. and i'm full of chocolate and vanilla.
it's funny how i always do this. i wanted to go to bed at ten, but we snuggled for a while. now i'm awake. and it's more than an hour later, and i can't seem to find the motivation to get up.
i love these seed bead bracelettes. they make me smile, thinking about all the times we made them. the ones i'm wearing now are 2 shades of pink and white, and a green on that says bug. it's good to have little reminders like these.
i wonder how person X is doing. i'm worried about them, about us. it's hard to be in a friendship with someone when you feel you can't relate. it's hard to be loving and supportive when they constantly put you down. it's easy to ignore it, it's easy to be nice and smile because i want to love you so much. i feel like a pushover sometimes, when i continue to encourage us being friends and you take it as a opperatunity to pull something, to draw attention to the glaring problems, the space that is growing between us. it's probably been there a lot longer than i've noticed. you told me i've changed, that i'm happier. i think it bothers you. and i'm not sure that it should. i want the best for us. what we've always wanted for eachother, when we thought of eachother as equals. some how, i don't think that's how you view me now. as you sat there across from me, laughing amoung people you were trying so hard to impress i felt alienated like never before. but instead of being upset i felt nothing. a slight urge to leave. and that worries me. does it worry you? or was that your desired effect?
i have to wake up tomorrow and go in town. i wish i wasn't so sleepy. i am a night person and when i get my second wind i hate to go to bed.
i feel like smiling.
i feel loved:) greg bought me my favorite candies and a card because he's sweet:) and then we went out for icecream&brownies. and i'm full of chocolate and vanilla.
it's funny how i always do this. i wanted to go to bed at ten, but we snuggled for a while. now i'm awake. and it's more than an hour later, and i can't seem to find the motivation to get up.
i love these seed bead bracelettes. they make me smile, thinking about all the times we made them. the ones i'm wearing now are 2 shades of pink and white, and a green on that says bug. it's good to have little reminders like these.
i wonder how person X is doing. i'm worried about them, about us. it's hard to be in a friendship with someone when you feel you can't relate. it's hard to be loving and supportive when they constantly put you down. it's easy to ignore it, it's easy to be nice and smile because i want to love you so much. i feel like a pushover sometimes, when i continue to encourage us being friends and you take it as a opperatunity to pull something, to draw attention to the glaring problems, the space that is growing between us. it's probably been there a lot longer than i've noticed. you told me i've changed, that i'm happier. i think it bothers you. and i'm not sure that it should. i want the best for us. what we've always wanted for eachother, when we thought of eachother as equals. some how, i don't think that's how you view me now. as you sat there across from me, laughing amoung people you were trying so hard to impress i felt alienated like never before. but instead of being upset i felt nothing. a slight urge to leave. and that worries me. does it worry you? or was that your desired effect?