My query
Someone on Facebook asked me what my first query letter looked like. THAT one was bad. But here’s the one that got me my first agent:
I am seeking representation for my 98,000 word paranormal, SEX STARVED.
(note, that was my original title for GENTLEMEN PREFER SUCCUBI. marketing hated it. i can’t blame them.)
Jackie Brighton has died, but she hasn’t gone to Heaven. Thanks to some supernatural interference, the dorky museum docent has been reborn as a succubus-a sex vampire. Now she never has to sleep, has the body of a supermodel, and must have sex every two days to feed the ‘Itch’ - quite a change from her crappy old lifestyle of pointing out museum paintings to tour groups.
But Jackie learns that the eternal life of a ‘Suck’…does. Literally. And it’s more than just the relationship troubles that a constantly horny immortal would have. She’ll do anything to skip out on having the requisite sex with strangers…but in doing so, ends up blackmailed into running errands for the Heavenly Host. All she needs to do is get her hands on a missing halo before the vampire queen does and she’ll have control of the situation (and her raging hormones). Of course, choosing sides in a celestial turf war means that she also has to make a choice between the men in her (After)life: the handsome, brooding fallen angel or the dangerous and witty vampire.
I like to think of this novel as ‘Stephanie Plum meets Anita Blake’, combining both a sarcastic first-person point of view and the darker, sexier elements of paranormal fiction. Would you be interested in seeing more?
Thank you for your time.
So, you know, it’s not perfect. But I think it does a few things right - the beginning and end are clean and straightforward. I lead with my genre and wordcount. My ‘X meets Y’ at the end isn’t terribly, terribly overused (at least not those two together) and it hits the right note to match the voice of my pitch. The pitch should be short but SPECIFIC. Character X has motivation because of Y. Z causes problems and then these things are at stake. SPECIFIC, though. Give the agent details as to why your book stands out from the others. I think mine stood out (once upon a time) because I was giving a succubus a tongue-in-cheek makeover rather than having it be straight-up erotica.
That letter is from 2005/2006, so a lot of things have changed since then. The paranormal genre has exploded, for one. When I queried my current agent back in 2008, I had a different approach, but I also had a contract on the table, so I can’t say that would work for anyone else.
Questions? Thoughts? Rotten eggs?
Mirrored from Jill Myles Dot Com.