We Can't Be Together - Chapter 6
Title: We Can't Be Together
Author: irvine304
Rating: R
Genre: Angst/Romance
Pairing: Riku x Sora
Warnings: OOC, shounen-ai, cussing, WAFF, Flangst, adult themes
Summary: Riku loves Sora, so much. So much it hurts him and what hurts him even more is the guilt over how much he hurt Sora while in darkness... Riku's world comes crashing down as Sora confesses to Riku and Riku, feeling undeserving of such feelings... SoraxRiku
Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts © Square Enix
We Can’t Be Together - Conclusion
The night was dark from the clouds that had covered the moon and though the breeze coming through Sora‘s window was warm, it was bothering him. Sora thought to shut his window, but he never budged to. He just lay there, under his covers, restless; wanting sleep, but unable to do so.
Sora wondered briefly why he couldn’t sleep, why he was so restless. But that stopped, for he realized it was Riku. Riku was the reason he couldn’t rest, couldn’t relax. His mind kept wondering back to what had happened today …what hadn’t. What he wished for, what he feared. What would come out of this, he wondered. What had Riku been doing, thinking? Why’d Riku say what he’d said? Did what he had done?
Did Riku misunderstand his own feelings? Did he actually love Sora this entire time but kept it from him? Lied to him? Rejected him completely, crushing is heart, over something as silly as guilt?
The waves of emotion going through Sora were causing his heart to ache. His eyes began to sting from the newly forming tears caused by his confusion.
What does he want? Does he even know?
“You were right, it was my guilt, and I was selfish in the way I dealt with it…” Sora recalled Riku saying.
“Oh course you where… you’re so stupid…” Sora mumbled to himself, covering his eyes.
“It’s just; you really haven’t said it…” Kairi’s voice came to him
“Sora, how can I prove to you that I love you? What do I have to do?” he had asked
“Are you two dating now?” she asked
“I love you,” he declared
Sora just lay there apathetically listening to his friends’ voices as they came.
Then, after a moment, he thought back to where his conversation with Kairi had turned…
“You don’t…know?” she had replied
“No…” he recalled himself saying, languished, “No I-…I never asked…”
“Oh…well…what did he say?”
“I already told you…Plus I-…I knew he hadn’t…made any promises, but I-…I just couldn’t bring myself to ask him.”
Sora recalled hearing his own voice crack toward the end.
“I did want to know…I was just scared.…Scared-”
“Of his answer?” Kairi inserted
“…Yes”
Their conversation had died soon after and thus they had ended it. It was an abrupt end…neither had known how to turn the conversation… and they both knew there was nothing more to say on the topic, but Kairi needed to express what she felt on it, so she closed it by telling Sora:
“Sora, if by tomorrow Riku doesn’t clarify things; you need to. Ask him what he wants from you. Does he want a relationship? Or is he just toying?”
“-Kairi”
“I’m not finished. Tell him what you want. And if he doesn’t like that, then he gets nothing. Don’t let him take advantage of you. Don’t let yourself get hurt anymore, Sora…”
“Kairi, Riku would never intentionally-”
“I know. I know he would never intentionally hurt you, Sora, but he is hurting you…that’s the whole point.
“This has to end; I wont stand for this anymore. I love Riku just as much as I do you but he needs to make up his mind. This isn’t good for either of you. Its not healthy and-… and it just needs to stop…”
“…I know…”
“I love you, Sora… I love you both with all my heart and I want you both to be happy but… not at the expense of the other. …Talk to him Sora, or I will. Goodnight.”
-click-
Sora had sat, listening to the dead line for what seemed like a long time, before finally closing his phone…
-o-
She’s right… Sora thought with a sigh. Now, that he could finally admit it to himself.
It can’t go on like this…
I can’t…
Sora stared out into the black night.
Riku…
Just then a light pleasant tune began to play…
Sora jumped slightly at the sound, only after realized it was his ‘Simple and Clean’ ringtone. The one he used only for his two best friends: Kairi and Riku…
Sora stared at his phone that laid absently on his nightstand, glowing faintly, while playing the lighthearted tune…
It was late, he couldn’t think why either of them would call so late… it really didn’t seem like Kairi…
Sora sat up and took the phone in one hand and examined the caller ID.
Riku, the caller ID read.
Riku…Sora thought as he stared blankly at the phone, before slowly moving to answer it. He hesitated before he answered.
“Hello?”
He heard Riku’s masculine voice come over the line, “Hey…did I wake you?”
“No…no I was awake.” Sora replied softly as he moved into a sitting position on his bed.
“Good.” was all Riku replied.
Sora rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. “Did…you need something?” he asked, feeling even more awkward.
“Yeah…” He could almost see Riku rubbing the back if his own head, just as awkwardly as Sora was. “I…I want to see you.”
Sora blinked, “See me?” Sora looked to the clock on his nightstand.
“Yeah.”
“Riku, it’s almost 12, we have school; why would want to see me now?”
“I …need to see you… I know it’s late. I just…” Sora could hear him sigh in frustration, over the line, “I’m sorry, forget it. I- …I’ll just go…”
“No!” Sora almost shouted, covering his mouth, waiting to hear his mother’s footsteps…
“…Sora?”
When he heard nothing in the hall, he made sure to keep his voice low as he went on, “No…don’t go, I… Where do you want to meet?”
“Sora…?”
“I know, it’s alright, I wont get caught. Just tell me where to meet you and I’ll go.”
Anywhere you go, I’ll follow, Sora left unsaid.
“…The Island.”
“The Island?”
“Yes…will you be alright getting out there by yourself? …Or should I wait for you at the docks and we’ll go together?”
“I’ll be alright.” Sora said as he moved out of his bed. Removing his pajama bottoms for a pair of pants he had left abandoned on the floor; after only wearing them for about two hours while his grandparents were over. He maneuvered all this while holding the phone with his shoulder to his ear.
“Are…you sure?” Riku was the one who sounded unsure at this point.
“Yeah.” Sora offhanded replied as he moved to his dresser to find a shirt.
“…No…never mind, I’ll meet you at the docks, we’ll take my boat.”
Sora pulled out a T-shirt and tossed it to the bed before allowing his confusion to wash over him as he replied, “What? Why? I’ll be fine, Riku. Plus it will probably take me longer to get to the docks than you. So go on ahead.”
“I’m waiting for you and we’re going together, and that’s the end of it.”
Sora blinked for a moment, taken aback from Riku’s forwardness.
Did he just tell me to do something? Sora smiled, He hasn’t done that in so long…I’m a little surprised…maybe he’s starting to get back to his old self…maybe…finally…
“Alright, I’ll meet you there.”
“Ok, get ready, I’ll see you soon.”
“Yep.” Sora couldn’t help but smile at the thought of his old Riku coming back.
Then Sora stopped and paid closer attention.Sora had heard a click at the end of the last sentence. Not believing it he took his phone away from his ear and look at it
Call ended…
“I can believe he just hung up on me!”
Sora then smiled and sighed, “Yeah…that’s defiantly Riku…”
-o0o-
Sora quietly left his house, shutting the front door without a sound.
After getting a good distance away from his house he began to sprint to the docks.
It took him, what he assumed to be close to ten minutes, to get within visual range of the docks. He slowed his pace to a walk and then stopped for a moment, bracing himself with his hands on his knees to catch his breath. After a minute, still working on calming his breathing, he looked up to find Riku at the docks, waiting, just as he knew he would be.
He could have walked here and still beat me…
Sora thought to himself, but then as he looked up to see Riku with his usual flawless and revitalize self, he realized…he most likely did walk.
Sora sighed with defeat but then a glow surrounding Riku caught his eye. Sora looked back to find Riku surrounded in a pale light that accentuated his beauty immensely.
His pale beyond platinum hair glowed within it and his eyes, as they turned and caught sight of him, shined with magnificence. The aquamarine of his eyes causing Sora’s breath to catch, as he could only stare on and half realize the moon had come out.
--
Within the placid moonlight Riku stood waiting patiently for the boy he loved more than anything.
Tonight… He thought with resolve.
Tonight, I will let him know how I truly feel. The words will not leave me and there will be no bed to distract us.
I will fix this. I will confess everything I’ve held back until now. Everything I meant to say earlier today will be said.
…He’ll understand everything then. Why I did what I had done …Why I had hurt him now and in the past… Why…I had been such a fool... I will show him -prove to him that I’ve changed. That I can forgive myself and love him to the fullest… Prove to him that everything I said to him that day he confessed was a blatant lie… That all I need is to hear him say again that he forgives me…and then I can forgive myself, and love him the way…he needs me too. The way…we both need…
Riku looked at his hand, noticing it was more distinct and evident than it had been earlier. He lifted his hand slightly, then turned his head upward and noticed the moon was full and above him, showering him in its light.
So the storm clouds cleared up…good, the light from the moon will help us get to the Island safe-
His thoughts were left incomplete as he caught sight of his sapphire eyed angel; who was staring at him in what appeared to be dumbfounded daze. Riku could only shake his head in understanding as he smiled and turned to fully face Sora. With a hand on his hip and the other dangling to the side as he responded to Sora’s gaze, “Alright, Sora, I know the moonlight does remarkable things to my looks but honestly, we really can’t stand here all night with you gawking at me like that.” Riku finished with a knowing smirk.
It took Sora a moment to comprehend what Riku had said, but when he did he blinked a few times and blushed fiercely in response. Riku only laughed and then opened his arms to Sora, “Come here, Love…”
Sora’s heart ached for those words to be for him but couldn’t help glancing to each side of himself before looking comprehending those words for himself and looking back to Riku.
“Yes, you Sora. Come here.” Riku said, answering the confusion in Sora’s eyes.
Sora felt like his heart was bleeding and was filled with joy at the same time as he ran as quickly as he could into Riku’s arms, hugging him tightly. Riku returned the hug just a firmly, while he affectionately nuzzled his face into Sora‘s neck.
“Lets go…” He whispered into Sora’s ear.
Sora only nodded in response, not letting Riku go…
--
Taking the boat to the Island never really took too long but for some reason it felt like forever before they finally pulled up onto shore. Or at least, that’s how it felt for Sora. He wondered briefly if all this was taking as great a toll on Riku as it was him, but he pushed those thoughts to the side as he took the hand Riku offered him as leverage as he jumped onto the deck to join him. Their hands had fallen separate after Sora had made it onto the deck, to enable Sora to stretch but he still wished for the lock of hands.
“Turned out to not be such a bad night, huh?” Sora heard Riku say from his side.
He turned and found Riku’s back to him as he was staring up at the moon-lit sky.
“Yeah…” was all Sora replied.
He fidgeted slightly and then rapped his arms around himself. It wasn’t as if it was cold out, it was still pretty warm and the slight breeze only made it more comfortable; so it wasn’t that. It was just, being this far away from Riku, even if it was only about a foot in length, with him staring off like that, made Sore feel very alone. He wanted to be near Riku, within his arms…that was all.
Not being able to help himself, Sora slowly moved to Riku and gripped the sides of his shirt as he pressed his face into Riku’s back, just to be a little closer…
He felt Riku shift slightly, most likely trying to see him and responded with, “Sora..?”
Sora didn’t move as he responded. “It’s nothing. I…just wanted a hug…was all…”
Riku couldn’t help but smile at the way Sora clung to him, knowing it had nothing to do with his clinginess because he was feeling the same thing: The need to be close to each other.
Riku grasped Sora’s hands, removing them from his shirt and turned in Sora’s embrace. Releasing Sora’s hands he rapped his own arms around Sora’s waist, crossing them on his back, and gripped onto Sora’s shoulders, pulling him close. He closed his eyes and burred his face into Sora’s neck, whispering, “I’m sorry…”
Sorry? Sora thought confused.
“I’m sorry for everything I’ve done to you, Sora. I’m so sorry…”
“Riku, I -”
“Sora…” Riku cut Sora off, trying to get his attention as he moved to rest his head atop of Sora’s, breathing in his sent. “Do you remember when the door to our would was first opened?”
“Yeah?”
“You know I was the one who opened it, right? The one who allowed our world to be engulfed in darkness all just for some adventure and to be free…that was me.”
“Ri-”
“You knew that was me right?”
“…Yes.”
“Good… Do you know why I opened the door? Other than for adventure and freedom.”
“…No”
“I wanted freedom, yes, and the adventure we always dreamed of, but the other reason was…I wanted them both for you.”
Sora looks up and found Riku’s aquamarine eyes boring into his with pure, raw, emotion.
“I wanted for our childhood fantasies to come true. I wanted to run away with you. And more than any of that, I wanted you to look up to me, to be proud of me, and see me as your hero. I wanted to show you what I could do, what I could accomplish, how much power I had. I wanted you to see I could protect you.”
“Riku…”
“But it didn’t turn out that way…”
Riku got a flash back of the incident that happened on the island almost 3 years ago. Remembering how desperately Sora tried to grasp his hand and how little he did to make the connection…
“Two things happened which were my fault: our hands never locked and I allowed myself to be swallowed by the darkness. That was my first mistake: Leaving you behind.
“After that I awoke in a strange place. I was alone, I was lost, you were both gone, and I had no idea what to do… Then Maleficent came to me. She told me the name of the place where I was: Hallow Bastion. She told me she could help me find you. I trusted her…well not fully….but enough to allow her blind me to the truth of everything…”
Riku looked to find Sora looking at him a little lost. Riku smile sadly and went on to explain,
“ When I found you in Traverse Town, I was happy to see you, and I was hoping everything Maleficent kept saying were just blatant lies.
“I wanted to get back to the adventure we had wanted all our lives and I was eager to show you my strength; the power I had acquired with the help of Maleficent and the darkness. The power I planed to use to both impress and protect you, but I was taken aback by your forwardness and…well cockiness, while showing off your keyblade. You had made some strange friends and appeared to be quiet content without me or Kairi around… Or at least, fine without me…
“Even though you had said you wanted me to go with you, I didn’t believe it, and plus, your friends didn’t seem too content with me coming along either… ”
Riku looked to Sora, and Sora could see he hated what he was admitting. Not because he was admitting it but because he was guilty of feeling such things. Sora gazed at him compassionately as Riku struggled to go on.
He shuffled a hand anxiously through his hair, “I was jealous, angry, disappointed, discontent… the list goes on; and it didn’t help with Maleficent in my ear reminding how hard I had searched for you and feeding into my blind jealously by saying how you had replaced me with Donald and Goofy.”Riku grabbed at his hair, lowering his head so his eyes were out of Sora’s sight, his voice went on, unsteadily, “She went on saying how you valued them more than me. More than me. Your best friend… I was livid…I couldn’t see anything that was real. My eyes played tricks on me. Tricks which were fed by that witch’s words.”
It sounded almost as if there were tears in his voice as he went on, “She said I was better off without you…She told me to go with her…that she would help me find Kairi…and I believe her…every fucking word she said, and I left with her.”
There was a long drawn out pause before Riku said anything more and Sora just waited patiently for Riku to continue. Sora knew in his heart that Riku needed to say all this, need to explain himself. Explained what he did and why. Sora was curious of all this but it bothered him that it seemed to cause Riku so much frustration, guilt, and pain to explaining himself and exposing his mistakes, his sins. Laying them bare and having to acknowledge them for what they were: the truth.
Riku continued after a moment longer, more composed. He lifted his head, locked eyes with Sora, and spoke normally again.
“The next time our paths crosses was within Monstro… I’m ashamed to say I taunted you and upset you quiet a bit. Truth is: I missed you, I was glad to see you, really. But I was also still so angry with you…I felt that you had betrayed me.
“Our meeting was quiet bittersweet, but I wanted it. I was there because I needed Pinocchio. Maleficent said his heart may help Kairi but when I saw you…I couldn’t resist. I had to mess with you… I had missed you…
“Then I tested you. I tried to get you to come back to me, to my side. I thought I was right. I was helping Kairi, I was trying. While you just ran around with your silly keyblade. That’s what I thought, what I told myself, what I believed. You didn’t come with me, you drew your keyblade and told me I had no conscience…you were right. I may not have realized it back then, but it was true: I was on the wrong side.”
Riku sighed and looked up to the sky, “Next was Neverland… “I was still so upset with you then. You, standing there, all worried about Donald and Goofy and no questions about Kairi. I felt that her and I were less important to you at that point… No, that’s not completely true…”
He sighed again and looked to the ground, “Yes it’s true I felt you neglected trying to find her; focusing more on your own little adventures, but when it came to who you care less about…”
Riku looked to Sora, “I felt you could have cared less about me. You had new friends. You didn’t need me. You betrayed me…you replaced me…”
Riku shook his head and looked back to the sky, now focusing on the moon.
“I was so cocky then myself. So sure. I believed I was getting strong enough where I had nothing to fear, which in reality, I had plenty to fear, and it was all within my own body. All the power, the power of darkness. I was losing myself to it. I put to much faith into it, and feared it too little… I was setting my own trap from the start. Heh.”Riku smiled and laughed humorlessly shaking his head at his old self, “I was so foolish, so stupid.”
Riku paused, looking to the ground. He was silent again for a long time before mumbling the next world, “Hallow Bastion…”
He sighed pulling on the front of his hair in frustration, “God, Sora, I…” his memories flashed until one in particular hit him:
“We’ve always been rivals, haven’t we? You’ve always pushed me as I’ve always pushed you.”
“Riku…”
“But it all ends here. There can’t be two keyblade masters.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Let the keyblade choose…it’s true master.” Riku held out his hand and the key blade left Sora’s hand and appeared into his own.
“Huh?” “What!?” Sora’s companions cried
Riku examined blade “Maleficent was right. You don’t have what I takes to save Kairi. It’s up to me. Only the keyblade master can open the secret door…and change the world.”
“But that’s impossible. How did this happen? I’m the one who fought my way here with the keyblade!”
“You were just the delivery boy. Sorry, your part’s over now. Here, go play hero with this.”
Riku tossed a toy wooden sword to Sora’s feet and Sora collapsed onto his hands and knees before it…defeated.
Riku flinched visibly from the memory, “I was so…cold to you Sora. I took the keyblade from you, insulted you, and stripped you away from your friends… Then after losing to you, I gave myself fully to the darkness. That’s when Ansem, or Xehanort’sHeartless, took control of me…what happened after that was a bit of a blur until you closed me behind the door…”
Riku sighed, “I recovered my heart and my body and then you fell asleep.”
He looked to Sora, “I couldn’t figure out what to do to help you. But then while wondering in the darkness I met a man counseled in all red, calling himself Diz. He told me he knew a way to wake you. He told me if I got Roxas, it may help. So I did…well, you know what became of me after that.
“Then after you awoke, I followed you as you continued on your journey. I gave you hints and helped in anyway I could, without you knowing it was me. I even had the King promise me if he ever saw you, to not tell you what happened to me, ever.”
“Riku…”
Riku looked away, “I don’t know how but when Kairi saw me, she knew it was me. Must have been that dog’s fault…but either way I couldn’t hide from her, even with that body…
“Then when you and Kairi were reunited, it seemed like a good time for me to go but…you stopped me…”
“Wait, Ansem!”I stopped, I knew you meant me.
“I mean, Xehanort’s Heartless…I never thought for a second I’d ever see YOU again. Just thinking about all the things you did makes me really mad. But-…But you saved Kairi, right? I have to be grateful for that… Thanks.”
You didn’t know it was me…
“You didn’t know it was me…and I was glad, but…It hurt at the same time. I was ready to walk out of your life for good. You didn’t need me, and soon you and Kairi would be able to go home. I deserved everything I got: I lost my body, my friends, my home… but I was able to help you and Kairi. In the end that was more than enough. Enough to make me happy but no where near enough to be forgiven… I didn’t deserve to go home with you two. I deserved to die alone in the darkness. And I was paining to do so as I made to leave but… Kairi stopped me…”
She grabbed me by the arm, “Riku, don’t go!”
“Kairi, what did you just say?” Sora stepped forward, not believing his ears.
She was wrecking everything…
“She was blowing my cover, I tried my best to defer you but…”
She turned to Sora, “Riku.”
I pulled away, “I’m no one --just a castaway from the darkness.”
She turned back to Sora, “Sora, come here. Say something to him.”
No…don’t come near me. I wont be able to leave…
You came and she took our hands,“Here. You’ll understand.”
She laid your hand over mine. She held our hands together…Then she turned to you,“Close your eyes.”
You obeyed, and my charade fell apart…and so did you…
You opened your eyes and looked to me. I could see you falling apart… and it was because of me…
“Riku…” you grasped my hand between yours…
“It’s Riku. Riku’s here…” You fell to your knees…my heart ached for you…
“I looked for you!” You started to cry…
“C’mon, Sora. You’ve got to pull it together.”
“It was too late… You knew it was me, you were falling apart…and I was falling for you…no…I was fighting hard to not admit it…I had already loved you long before that, but I wouldn’t let myself wonder, I wouldn’t let myself think. When, where, why didn’t matter. I loved you…but I couldn’t…I didn’t deserve to…I couldn’t let myself…”
Sora touched his hand, Riku continued to turn away…
You shook your head slightly and looked to me, tears rolling down your cheeks, “I looked everywhere for you!”
“I didn’t want you to find me.” your eyes widened at that…
Then your companions began to get the picture: “But it was him that was helpin’ us, wasn’t it?”
“Huh?”
“Those clues we kept finding. That must have been Riku.”
Finally he looked to Sora, “I wasn’t sure if you guys would have ever caught on.” He said with a very slight smile. A smile, Sora could see, that was masking so much more…
“Why didn’t you let me know you were okay?” You asked with a hand to your heart…
“I told you. I didn’t want to be found. Not like this…I couldn’t. I fought with Ansem. With…Xehanort’s Heartless-- when it invaded my heart, and I won. But to use the power of darkness, I had to become Ansem myself.”
“Does that mean…you can’t change back?” Kairi asked
“This battle isn’t over. And until it is, I still need the power of darkness.” but I still wondered…would I ever be able to go back?
“Then…let’s finish it. You’re still Riku, no matter what!” Sora…you were always so strong…and so kind…
“I really didn’t think I would ever get my original body back, and when I did… I lost the power of darkness but…I was myself again.”
Riku sighed, “I was myself again, you were at my side, we were fighting together. Finally, for once we were fighting together instead of against one another. It meant a lot to me to have that chance. That chance to redeem myself…” he looked to Sora, “To redeem myself in your eyes…
“Then when we fought Xemnas, I almost lost you…” Riku was staring at Sora with emotion Sora couldn’t read. “When I saw you like that, wrapped within that ball of energy, your life being drained, I went numb… I just acted without much thought. You were alright in the end.” Riku sighed in relief, “You were alright…”
Sora couldn’t keep back any longer, pulling himself to Riku, embracing him strongly. Riku returned the embrace with just as much force, pressing his face to Sora’s neck, breathing in his sent once again.
“I never really wanted to leave that beach. Part of me didn’t want to go home. I was afraid…ashamed…I couldn’t face them all…” Riku pulled Sora back to face him, “I destroyed our would, allowed it to be swallowed by darkness. I put you all in danger. I betrayed you…I hurt you…I could never be forgiven…”
“Riku-”
“But I came back with you, I faced them all. All those smiling faces, welcoming us home…I felt sick. Sick with my whole self. I didn’t deserve this: to be welcomed with open arms and smiles. None of it. I should have died, I should have been banished, punished, something, anything…”
Sora grabbed at Riku’s shirt, “Riku please-” “I needed to be forgiven. But since no one knew what wrong I had done or just allowed me a clean slate, I needed to do something to feel worthy of the life I was given. So I tried hard everyday to make up to everyone what I had done: to them, to their world…to you. You…I …couldn’t forgive myself for how much I had hurt you… Even more so for falling in love with you. I couldn’t love you, I wasn’t worthy. But then I took it as punishment. My heart ached for you, I wanted to be with you so badly but I didn’t believe there would ever be a chance in the world that you would want me. So that was my punishment: unrequited love. I thought you loved Kairi but maybe part of myself knew but I couldn’t accept that. I couldn’t accept that I hurt the one person most important to me so much… and that person fell for me after all I had done. No, it just wasn’t right. So I ignored it and all the signs… but then you confessed to me and I…couldn’t accept it, because I didn’t deserve it…or so I had felt.”
Riku looked to Sora and noticed tears forming. He felt panic rise within himself, “No Sora, I’m not rejecting you again I…” Riku sighed keeping one hand on Sora’s shoulder, making sure he wouldn’t leave, and used the other to run through his own hair, collecting his thoughts.
“I wanted to explain to you why I did what did back then and now. I wanted you to understand or at least have some idea what was going through my head. And most of all I…wanted to apologize.” Riku looked to Sora sorrowfully, “I…am so sorry for everything, Sora. I-…I wish I could take back every bad thing I did to you. Take back every time I hurt you, but I cant… I don’t know how I could ever make up to you all that I’ve done to you. But I do love you and I want to be with you, if you forgive me and will have me.”
“Riku…” Sora shook his head and laughed with a voice full of tears, “Of course I’ll have you, dummy!” Sora hugged Riku tightly laughing and crying into his chest. Laughing for how happy he was, crying for the pain they both had to go through to get here.
They held onto each other for a long time just laughing, crying, kissing, and talking.
The night was beautiful. There was almost no sound except for the constant beat of the waves against the shore. And the island laid illuminated within the moon light. It was like day at night.
They ended their night sitting in the sand, holding hands as they kissed under the paopu tree. Just as they started to get up to leave Riku grabbed Sora’s hand to stop him. When Sora looked to him Riku pointed to a single paopu fruit on the tree. It was full and ready to be picked. Riku smiled at Sora as he moved to grab the fruit and Sora blushed fiercely. After Riku had acquired the fruit, he jumped down from the tree and turned to Sora with a knowing smirk, “Humor me, Sora, and share this with me. I know you’ve always wanted to try it.” Sora just blush as Riku moved to him. Pulling him into a one arm embrace, he bit into the fruit and moved his mouth to Sora’s to share the fruit. Sora shyly accepted and after Sora swallowed his piece Riku kissed Sora deeply. They broke for air and Riku moved to Sora’s ear and whispered to him seductively, “If two people share one, their destinies become intertwined. They'll remain part of each other’s lives no matter what.” He turned Sora’s chin to face him and kissed him longingly.
“We’ll be apart of each other lives, no matter what. I promise.” Riku had taken a hold of Sora’s head between his hands, looking him into the eyes as he had spoke. Sora could only blush and close his eyes in response as Riku moved in to take his lips again, now lovingly. Sora’s gasps from all the feeling building in his chest and Riku only kissed him deeper. Riku pushed Sora to the sand and broke the kiss to move to kiss down Sora’s chin and neck, stopping to suckling on his collarbone. Sora mewed lightly as Riku left his mark on his sun kissed skin. After examining his handiwork and feeling satisfied, he kissed his mark and moved to peck Sora on the lips before laying down on his side next to Sora. Sora looked to Riku a little lost as to way he had stopped and noticed Riku grabbing the discarded fruit, brushing the little sand that may have clung to it. As Riku finished he turned and notice the look Sora was giving him and smiled, “We should finish the fruit, just to be sure we do it right.”
Sora blushed and his heart began to pound. Riku was being so sweet, just laying with him as they took turns biting off piece of the fruit, sometimes sharing. Riku would brush Sora’s face lightly and speaking to him lovingly. Sora’s heart felt it would burst from the love he was feeling from Riku.
After they finished the fruit Riku just kissed around Sora’s face as gently as touches from a feather before pecking his lips just as softly, mentioning something about how they should head home, Sora vaguely remembered nodding and Riku standing pulling him to his feet as they headed for the beach…
-Beep-Beep-Beep- CLANK
Sora awoke in his bed feeling very un-rested. As he rubbed his eyes a troubling feeling came over him as he looked about himself lost.
No…last night…its wasn’t a dream, was it?
Sora looked about himself for some proof that the night before hadn’t been another cruel dream. Finding nothing, Sora started to become frantic before pausing and remembering vividly Riku kissing his collarbone rather heatedly. Desperate, Sora looked down, but found he was unable to see his collarbone. He frantically got up and rushed into the bathroom and looked into the mirror and found…a red mark on his collarbone. Sora slumped to the floor, far too relieved to move.
It wasn’t a dream…it wasn’t…
“Sora! Are you up?!” Sora’s mom called from downstairs.
Sora pricked his head up and called back to his mother, “Yes, Mom! I’m up!”
“Well hurry up and get ready! Riku’s down here waiting for you!”
“Riku‘s -” a load crack admitted as Sora’s head made contact with the counter above him.
“Oww.” Sora rubbed his head as he made his way out of the bathroom. He was going to go to his room, get dressed, and then head down but as soon as he left the bathroom he just needed to know Riku was really there. Sora bolted to the stairs and flew down them to find…Riku.
He was just standing there, waiting patiently and happened to turn as Sora pounded down the stairs. At first he look surprised but realization seemed to was over him as he smile at Sora and opened his arms to catch Sora in an embrace as Sora collided to his chest grabbing onto him frantically hugging him tightly.
“Sora! Don’t run down the stairs!” Sora's mom yelled to him as she entered the living room, then noticed how little attire her son had on, “And go get dressed young man! Your both going to end up late!”
Sora ignored her and clung to Riku, whispering, “It wasn’t a dream was it?”Riku held him close and whispered back, “No, Sora, it wasn’t a dream.”Sora looked up to Riku wanting to ask him something, but not able to find the words. Riku smiled at him as said, “We’ll be apart of each other’s lives, no mater what. I love you, Sora. Now go get dressed.” Riku finished with a smack to Sora’s butt to get him moving. Sora jumped but moved to the stairs and pause for a moment. Then smiled to Riku before running up them and getting ready.
-o0o-
They had walked hand-in-hand to school, now entering through the gates. Their talk had mostly consisted of Sora asking questions about the night before and Riku assuring him that it had all happened. Riku also mentioned that Sora had kept nodding off throughout the boat ride and walk home. Riku had to listen as Sora walked into his bedroom to make sure he’d make it. Sora only blushed when he heard that.
As they entered through the gates they spoke of little more than of casual things when Kairi ran up to meet them and stopped in front of them unexpectedly. “Hey!” she greeted them with a smile, then noticing the lock of hands had to look up and between the both of them with questioning looks, “You two, are you…?” She looked to Sora and Sora only blushed and looked away. Kairi turn her eyes to Riku, as did Sora, only less conspicuously.
Riku raised an eyebrow to Kairi, “Are we what?” Riku finished with a smirk.
Kairi raised an eyebrow of her own but followed up with, “Are you two an item now?”
Riku smiled and looked to Sora, “After last night, I’d hope we were.”
Sora blushed, “Riku, don’t say it like that!”
Kairi’s eyes grew twice their sizes, “What happened last night!?” She asked looking between them. Riku smirked. “Nothing happened!” Sora cried out, waving his hands frantically.
“Oh, I wouldn’t say nothing.”
“Riku!” Sora growled at him.
Kairi about gasped, “Sora! You didn’t! Already!?”
“No!” Sora cried out desperately, “We didn’t do anything like that!”
“Are you sure?” Kairi asked.
“Positive!”
“Riku?”
Riku shrugged, “Sure. Just like Sora said: ‘nothing happened’.” “She wont believe it, if you say it like that!”
“Who said I wanted her too?” “Riku!”
“Guys? …I’m confused.”
Riku only laughed and pulled Sora to him, “All you need to know, Kai, is that Sora and I are together now.”
“Really?” Kairi asked unsure looking between them and settling her eyes and Sora. Sora blushed and nodded.
Kairi squeed and hugged them both, “I’m so happy for you guys!”
Riku laughed and hugged her back, “I’m happy too.” Sora just continued to blush and mumbled, “me too…” wrapping an arm around Kairi as well.
After a few moments Kairi released them to run off to her friends after motioning to Sora to call her later.
Sora turned to Riku once they were alone, “Hey Riku?”
Riku turned to him, “Yes, Sora?”
Sora looked about nervously before meeting Riku’s eyes again, “Is it…really okay if we're together? I mean…I…”
Riku lifted Sora’s chin so their eyes made contact. “Yes Sora, it’s alright. We can be together. We’ll be together as long as our hearts tell us to be. We cant be together forever. No worries, Sora.” Riku said flicking his nose, “I’ll always be right by your side, as long as you want me to be. No…I’ll be here no matter what.”
Sora only blushed and smiled, relief flowing through him freely.
“Riku?” “Yes, Sora?” “…I love you.” “I love you too.”
And made there way into school, hand-in-hand…
There would be trouble in the future, Riku was sure. Much pain and turmoil. But, if in the end, his Sora would be smiling like he was now, it would all be alright. As long as they we’re together, as long as Sora was smiling, they could handle anything that came their way. That was something Riku believed now, that he may not have before: That together they could do anything.
They needed each other, they loved each other. Things had to work out in the end. No…things would work out in the end. They would be happy because they were together.
Riku watched Sora as he thought to himself, I was wrong, Sora
Sora shot him a magnificent smile, that breathed happiness.I was wrong…we can be together.
If two people share one, their destinies become intertwined. They'll remain part of each other’s lives no matter what…
A/N:
Story link
My FF Account
Author: irvine304
Rating: R
Genre: Angst/Romance
Pairing: Riku x Sora
Warnings: OOC, shounen-ai, cussing, WAFF, Flangst, adult themes
Summary: Riku loves Sora, so much. So much it hurts him and what hurts him even more is the guilt over how much he hurt Sora while in darkness... Riku's world comes crashing down as Sora confesses to Riku and Riku, feeling undeserving of such feelings... SoraxRiku
Disclaimer: Kingdom Hearts © Square Enix
We Can’t Be Together - Conclusion
The night was dark from the clouds that had covered the moon and though the breeze coming through Sora‘s window was warm, it was bothering him. Sora thought to shut his window, but he never budged to. He just lay there, under his covers, restless; wanting sleep, but unable to do so.
Sora wondered briefly why he couldn’t sleep, why he was so restless. But that stopped, for he realized it was Riku. Riku was the reason he couldn’t rest, couldn’t relax. His mind kept wondering back to what had happened today …what hadn’t. What he wished for, what he feared. What would come out of this, he wondered. What had Riku been doing, thinking? Why’d Riku say what he’d said? Did what he had done?
Did Riku misunderstand his own feelings? Did he actually love Sora this entire time but kept it from him? Lied to him? Rejected him completely, crushing is heart, over something as silly as guilt?
The waves of emotion going through Sora were causing his heart to ache. His eyes began to sting from the newly forming tears caused by his confusion.
What does he want? Does he even know?
“You were right, it was my guilt, and I was selfish in the way I dealt with it…” Sora recalled Riku saying.
“Oh course you where… you’re so stupid…” Sora mumbled to himself, covering his eyes.
“It’s just; you really haven’t said it…” Kairi’s voice came to him
“Sora, how can I prove to you that I love you? What do I have to do?” he had asked
“Are you two dating now?” she asked
“I love you,” he declared
Sora just lay there apathetically listening to his friends’ voices as they came.
Then, after a moment, he thought back to where his conversation with Kairi had turned…
“You don’t…know?” she had replied
“No…” he recalled himself saying, languished, “No I-…I never asked…”
“Oh…well…what did he say?”
“I already told you…Plus I-…I knew he hadn’t…made any promises, but I-…I just couldn’t bring myself to ask him.”
Sora recalled hearing his own voice crack toward the end.
“I did want to know…I was just scared.…Scared-”
“Of his answer?” Kairi inserted
“…Yes”
Their conversation had died soon after and thus they had ended it. It was an abrupt end…neither had known how to turn the conversation… and they both knew there was nothing more to say on the topic, but Kairi needed to express what she felt on it, so she closed it by telling Sora:
“Sora, if by tomorrow Riku doesn’t clarify things; you need to. Ask him what he wants from you. Does he want a relationship? Or is he just toying?”
“-Kairi”
“I’m not finished. Tell him what you want. And if he doesn’t like that, then he gets nothing. Don’t let him take advantage of you. Don’t let yourself get hurt anymore, Sora…”
“Kairi, Riku would never intentionally-”
“I know. I know he would never intentionally hurt you, Sora, but he is hurting you…that’s the whole point.
“This has to end; I wont stand for this anymore. I love Riku just as much as I do you but he needs to make up his mind. This isn’t good for either of you. Its not healthy and-… and it just needs to stop…”
“…I know…”
“I love you, Sora… I love you both with all my heart and I want you both to be happy but… not at the expense of the other. …Talk to him Sora, or I will. Goodnight.”
-click-
Sora had sat, listening to the dead line for what seemed like a long time, before finally closing his phone…
-o-
She’s right… Sora thought with a sigh. Now, that he could finally admit it to himself.
It can’t go on like this…
I can’t…
Sora stared out into the black night.
Riku…
Just then a light pleasant tune began to play…
Sora jumped slightly at the sound, only after realized it was his ‘Simple and Clean’ ringtone. The one he used only for his two best friends: Kairi and Riku…
Sora stared at his phone that laid absently on his nightstand, glowing faintly, while playing the lighthearted tune…
It was late, he couldn’t think why either of them would call so late… it really didn’t seem like Kairi…
Sora sat up and took the phone in one hand and examined the caller ID.
Riku, the caller ID read.
Riku…Sora thought as he stared blankly at the phone, before slowly moving to answer it. He hesitated before he answered.
“Hello?”
He heard Riku’s masculine voice come over the line, “Hey…did I wake you?”
“No…no I was awake.” Sora replied softly as he moved into a sitting position on his bed.
“Good.” was all Riku replied.
Sora rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. “Did…you need something?” he asked, feeling even more awkward.
“Yeah…” He could almost see Riku rubbing the back if his own head, just as awkwardly as Sora was. “I…I want to see you.”
Sora blinked, “See me?” Sora looked to the clock on his nightstand.
“Yeah.”
“Riku, it’s almost 12, we have school; why would want to see me now?”
“I …need to see you… I know it’s late. I just…” Sora could hear him sigh in frustration, over the line, “I’m sorry, forget it. I- …I’ll just go…”
“No!” Sora almost shouted, covering his mouth, waiting to hear his mother’s footsteps…
“…Sora?”
When he heard nothing in the hall, he made sure to keep his voice low as he went on, “No…don’t go, I… Where do you want to meet?”
“Sora…?”
“I know, it’s alright, I wont get caught. Just tell me where to meet you and I’ll go.”
Anywhere you go, I’ll follow, Sora left unsaid.
“…The Island.”
“The Island?”
“Yes…will you be alright getting out there by yourself? …Or should I wait for you at the docks and we’ll go together?”
“I’ll be alright.” Sora said as he moved out of his bed. Removing his pajama bottoms for a pair of pants he had left abandoned on the floor; after only wearing them for about two hours while his grandparents were over. He maneuvered all this while holding the phone with his shoulder to his ear.
“Are…you sure?” Riku was the one who sounded unsure at this point.
“Yeah.” Sora offhanded replied as he moved to his dresser to find a shirt.
“…No…never mind, I’ll meet you at the docks, we’ll take my boat.”
Sora pulled out a T-shirt and tossed it to the bed before allowing his confusion to wash over him as he replied, “What? Why? I’ll be fine, Riku. Plus it will probably take me longer to get to the docks than you. So go on ahead.”
“I’m waiting for you and we’re going together, and that’s the end of it.”
Sora blinked for a moment, taken aback from Riku’s forwardness.
Did he just tell me to do something? Sora smiled, He hasn’t done that in so long…I’m a little surprised…maybe he’s starting to get back to his old self…maybe…finally…
“Alright, I’ll meet you there.”
“Ok, get ready, I’ll see you soon.”
“Yep.” Sora couldn’t help but smile at the thought of his old Riku coming back.
Then Sora stopped and paid closer attention.Sora had heard a click at the end of the last sentence. Not believing it he took his phone away from his ear and look at it
Call ended…
“I can believe he just hung up on me!”
Sora then smiled and sighed, “Yeah…that’s defiantly Riku…”
-o0o-
Sora quietly left his house, shutting the front door without a sound.
After getting a good distance away from his house he began to sprint to the docks.
It took him, what he assumed to be close to ten minutes, to get within visual range of the docks. He slowed his pace to a walk and then stopped for a moment, bracing himself with his hands on his knees to catch his breath. After a minute, still working on calming his breathing, he looked up to find Riku at the docks, waiting, just as he knew he would be.
He could have walked here and still beat me…
Sora thought to himself, but then as he looked up to see Riku with his usual flawless and revitalize self, he realized…he most likely did walk.
Sora sighed with defeat but then a glow surrounding Riku caught his eye. Sora looked back to find Riku surrounded in a pale light that accentuated his beauty immensely.
His pale beyond platinum hair glowed within it and his eyes, as they turned and caught sight of him, shined with magnificence. The aquamarine of his eyes causing Sora’s breath to catch, as he could only stare on and half realize the moon had come out.
--
Within the placid moonlight Riku stood waiting patiently for the boy he loved more than anything.
Tonight… He thought with resolve.
Tonight, I will let him know how I truly feel. The words will not leave me and there will be no bed to distract us.
I will fix this. I will confess everything I’ve held back until now. Everything I meant to say earlier today will be said.
…He’ll understand everything then. Why I did what I had done …Why I had hurt him now and in the past… Why…I had been such a fool... I will show him -prove to him that I’ve changed. That I can forgive myself and love him to the fullest… Prove to him that everything I said to him that day he confessed was a blatant lie… That all I need is to hear him say again that he forgives me…and then I can forgive myself, and love him the way…he needs me too. The way…we both need…
Riku looked at his hand, noticing it was more distinct and evident than it had been earlier. He lifted his hand slightly, then turned his head upward and noticed the moon was full and above him, showering him in its light.
So the storm clouds cleared up…good, the light from the moon will help us get to the Island safe-
His thoughts were left incomplete as he caught sight of his sapphire eyed angel; who was staring at him in what appeared to be dumbfounded daze. Riku could only shake his head in understanding as he smiled and turned to fully face Sora. With a hand on his hip and the other dangling to the side as he responded to Sora’s gaze, “Alright, Sora, I know the moonlight does remarkable things to my looks but honestly, we really can’t stand here all night with you gawking at me like that.” Riku finished with a knowing smirk.
It took Sora a moment to comprehend what Riku had said, but when he did he blinked a few times and blushed fiercely in response. Riku only laughed and then opened his arms to Sora, “Come here, Love…”
Sora’s heart ached for those words to be for him but couldn’t help glancing to each side of himself before looking comprehending those words for himself and looking back to Riku.
“Yes, you Sora. Come here.” Riku said, answering the confusion in Sora’s eyes.
Sora felt like his heart was bleeding and was filled with joy at the same time as he ran as quickly as he could into Riku’s arms, hugging him tightly. Riku returned the hug just a firmly, while he affectionately nuzzled his face into Sora‘s neck.
“Lets go…” He whispered into Sora’s ear.
Sora only nodded in response, not letting Riku go…
--
Taking the boat to the Island never really took too long but for some reason it felt like forever before they finally pulled up onto shore. Or at least, that’s how it felt for Sora. He wondered briefly if all this was taking as great a toll on Riku as it was him, but he pushed those thoughts to the side as he took the hand Riku offered him as leverage as he jumped onto the deck to join him. Their hands had fallen separate after Sora had made it onto the deck, to enable Sora to stretch but he still wished for the lock of hands.
“Turned out to not be such a bad night, huh?” Sora heard Riku say from his side.
He turned and found Riku’s back to him as he was staring up at the moon-lit sky.
“Yeah…” was all Sora replied.
He fidgeted slightly and then rapped his arms around himself. It wasn’t as if it was cold out, it was still pretty warm and the slight breeze only made it more comfortable; so it wasn’t that. It was just, being this far away from Riku, even if it was only about a foot in length, with him staring off like that, made Sore feel very alone. He wanted to be near Riku, within his arms…that was all.
Not being able to help himself, Sora slowly moved to Riku and gripped the sides of his shirt as he pressed his face into Riku’s back, just to be a little closer…
He felt Riku shift slightly, most likely trying to see him and responded with, “Sora..?”
Sora didn’t move as he responded. “It’s nothing. I…just wanted a hug…was all…”
Riku couldn’t help but smile at the way Sora clung to him, knowing it had nothing to do with his clinginess because he was feeling the same thing: The need to be close to each other.
Riku grasped Sora’s hands, removing them from his shirt and turned in Sora’s embrace. Releasing Sora’s hands he rapped his own arms around Sora’s waist, crossing them on his back, and gripped onto Sora’s shoulders, pulling him close. He closed his eyes and burred his face into Sora’s neck, whispering, “I’m sorry…”
Sorry? Sora thought confused.
“I’m sorry for everything I’ve done to you, Sora. I’m so sorry…”
“Riku, I -”
“Sora…” Riku cut Sora off, trying to get his attention as he moved to rest his head atop of Sora’s, breathing in his sent. “Do you remember when the door to our would was first opened?”
“Yeah?”
“You know I was the one who opened it, right? The one who allowed our world to be engulfed in darkness all just for some adventure and to be free…that was me.”
“Ri-”
“You knew that was me right?”
“…Yes.”
“Good… Do you know why I opened the door? Other than for adventure and freedom.”
“…No”
“I wanted freedom, yes, and the adventure we always dreamed of, but the other reason was…I wanted them both for you.”
Sora looks up and found Riku’s aquamarine eyes boring into his with pure, raw, emotion.
“I wanted for our childhood fantasies to come true. I wanted to run away with you. And more than any of that, I wanted you to look up to me, to be proud of me, and see me as your hero. I wanted to show you what I could do, what I could accomplish, how much power I had. I wanted you to see I could protect you.”
“Riku…”
“But it didn’t turn out that way…”
Riku got a flash back of the incident that happened on the island almost 3 years ago. Remembering how desperately Sora tried to grasp his hand and how little he did to make the connection…
“Two things happened which were my fault: our hands never locked and I allowed myself to be swallowed by the darkness. That was my first mistake: Leaving you behind.
“After that I awoke in a strange place. I was alone, I was lost, you were both gone, and I had no idea what to do… Then Maleficent came to me. She told me the name of the place where I was: Hallow Bastion. She told me she could help me find you. I trusted her…well not fully….but enough to allow her blind me to the truth of everything…”
Riku looked to find Sora looking at him a little lost. Riku smile sadly and went on to explain,
“ When I found you in Traverse Town, I was happy to see you, and I was hoping everything Maleficent kept saying were just blatant lies.
“I wanted to get back to the adventure we had wanted all our lives and I was eager to show you my strength; the power I had acquired with the help of Maleficent and the darkness. The power I planed to use to both impress and protect you, but I was taken aback by your forwardness and…well cockiness, while showing off your keyblade. You had made some strange friends and appeared to be quiet content without me or Kairi around… Or at least, fine without me…
“Even though you had said you wanted me to go with you, I didn’t believe it, and plus, your friends didn’t seem too content with me coming along either… ”
Riku looked to Sora, and Sora could see he hated what he was admitting. Not because he was admitting it but because he was guilty of feeling such things. Sora gazed at him compassionately as Riku struggled to go on.
He shuffled a hand anxiously through his hair, “I was jealous, angry, disappointed, discontent… the list goes on; and it didn’t help with Maleficent in my ear reminding how hard I had searched for you and feeding into my blind jealously by saying how you had replaced me with Donald and Goofy.”Riku grabbed at his hair, lowering his head so his eyes were out of Sora’s sight, his voice went on, unsteadily, “She went on saying how you valued them more than me. More than me. Your best friend… I was livid…I couldn’t see anything that was real. My eyes played tricks on me. Tricks which were fed by that witch’s words.”
It sounded almost as if there were tears in his voice as he went on, “She said I was better off without you…She told me to go with her…that she would help me find Kairi…and I believe her…every fucking word she said, and I left with her.”
There was a long drawn out pause before Riku said anything more and Sora just waited patiently for Riku to continue. Sora knew in his heart that Riku needed to say all this, need to explain himself. Explained what he did and why. Sora was curious of all this but it bothered him that it seemed to cause Riku so much frustration, guilt, and pain to explaining himself and exposing his mistakes, his sins. Laying them bare and having to acknowledge them for what they were: the truth.
Riku continued after a moment longer, more composed. He lifted his head, locked eyes with Sora, and spoke normally again.
“The next time our paths crosses was within Monstro… I’m ashamed to say I taunted you and upset you quiet a bit. Truth is: I missed you, I was glad to see you, really. But I was also still so angry with you…I felt that you had betrayed me.
“Our meeting was quiet bittersweet, but I wanted it. I was there because I needed Pinocchio. Maleficent said his heart may help Kairi but when I saw you…I couldn’t resist. I had to mess with you… I had missed you…
“Then I tested you. I tried to get you to come back to me, to my side. I thought I was right. I was helping Kairi, I was trying. While you just ran around with your silly keyblade. That’s what I thought, what I told myself, what I believed. You didn’t come with me, you drew your keyblade and told me I had no conscience…you were right. I may not have realized it back then, but it was true: I was on the wrong side.”
Riku sighed and looked up to the sky, “Next was Neverland… “I was still so upset with you then. You, standing there, all worried about Donald and Goofy and no questions about Kairi. I felt that her and I were less important to you at that point… No, that’s not completely true…”
He sighed again and looked to the ground, “Yes it’s true I felt you neglected trying to find her; focusing more on your own little adventures, but when it came to who you care less about…”
Riku looked to Sora, “I felt you could have cared less about me. You had new friends. You didn’t need me. You betrayed me…you replaced me…”
Riku shook his head and looked back to the sky, now focusing on the moon.
“I was so cocky then myself. So sure. I believed I was getting strong enough where I had nothing to fear, which in reality, I had plenty to fear, and it was all within my own body. All the power, the power of darkness. I was losing myself to it. I put to much faith into it, and feared it too little… I was setting my own trap from the start. Heh.”Riku smiled and laughed humorlessly shaking his head at his old self, “I was so foolish, so stupid.”
Riku paused, looking to the ground. He was silent again for a long time before mumbling the next world, “Hallow Bastion…”
He sighed pulling on the front of his hair in frustration, “God, Sora, I…” his memories flashed until one in particular hit him:
“We’ve always been rivals, haven’t we? You’ve always pushed me as I’ve always pushed you.”
“Riku…”
“But it all ends here. There can’t be two keyblade masters.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Let the keyblade choose…it’s true master.” Riku held out his hand and the key blade left Sora’s hand and appeared into his own.
“Huh?” “What!?” Sora’s companions cried
Riku examined blade “Maleficent was right. You don’t have what I takes to save Kairi. It’s up to me. Only the keyblade master can open the secret door…and change the world.”
“But that’s impossible. How did this happen? I’m the one who fought my way here with the keyblade!”
“You were just the delivery boy. Sorry, your part’s over now. Here, go play hero with this.”
Riku tossed a toy wooden sword to Sora’s feet and Sora collapsed onto his hands and knees before it…defeated.
Riku flinched visibly from the memory, “I was so…cold to you Sora. I took the keyblade from you, insulted you, and stripped you away from your friends… Then after losing to you, I gave myself fully to the darkness. That’s when Ansem, or Xehanort’sHeartless, took control of me…what happened after that was a bit of a blur until you closed me behind the door…”
Riku sighed, “I recovered my heart and my body and then you fell asleep.”
He looked to Sora, “I couldn’t figure out what to do to help you. But then while wondering in the darkness I met a man counseled in all red, calling himself Diz. He told me he knew a way to wake you. He told me if I got Roxas, it may help. So I did…well, you know what became of me after that.
“Then after you awoke, I followed you as you continued on your journey. I gave you hints and helped in anyway I could, without you knowing it was me. I even had the King promise me if he ever saw you, to not tell you what happened to me, ever.”
“Riku…”
Riku looked away, “I don’t know how but when Kairi saw me, she knew it was me. Must have been that dog’s fault…but either way I couldn’t hide from her, even with that body…
“Then when you and Kairi were reunited, it seemed like a good time for me to go but…you stopped me…”
“Wait, Ansem!”I stopped, I knew you meant me.
“I mean, Xehanort’s Heartless…I never thought for a second I’d ever see YOU again. Just thinking about all the things you did makes me really mad. But-…But you saved Kairi, right? I have to be grateful for that… Thanks.”
You didn’t know it was me…
“You didn’t know it was me…and I was glad, but…It hurt at the same time. I was ready to walk out of your life for good. You didn’t need me, and soon you and Kairi would be able to go home. I deserved everything I got: I lost my body, my friends, my home… but I was able to help you and Kairi. In the end that was more than enough. Enough to make me happy but no where near enough to be forgiven… I didn’t deserve to go home with you two. I deserved to die alone in the darkness. And I was paining to do so as I made to leave but… Kairi stopped me…”
She grabbed me by the arm, “Riku, don’t go!”
“Kairi, what did you just say?” Sora stepped forward, not believing his ears.
She was wrecking everything…
“She was blowing my cover, I tried my best to defer you but…”
She turned to Sora, “Riku.”
I pulled away, “I’m no one --just a castaway from the darkness.”
She turned back to Sora, “Sora, come here. Say something to him.”
No…don’t come near me. I wont be able to leave…
You came and she took our hands,“Here. You’ll understand.”
She laid your hand over mine. She held our hands together…Then she turned to you,“Close your eyes.”
You obeyed, and my charade fell apart…and so did you…
You opened your eyes and looked to me. I could see you falling apart… and it was because of me…
“Riku…” you grasped my hand between yours…
“It’s Riku. Riku’s here…” You fell to your knees…my heart ached for you…
“I looked for you!” You started to cry…
“C’mon, Sora. You’ve got to pull it together.”
“It was too late… You knew it was me, you were falling apart…and I was falling for you…no…I was fighting hard to not admit it…I had already loved you long before that, but I wouldn’t let myself wonder, I wouldn’t let myself think. When, where, why didn’t matter. I loved you…but I couldn’t…I didn’t deserve to…I couldn’t let myself…”
Sora touched his hand, Riku continued to turn away…
You shook your head slightly and looked to me, tears rolling down your cheeks, “I looked everywhere for you!”
“I didn’t want you to find me.” your eyes widened at that…
Then your companions began to get the picture: “But it was him that was helpin’ us, wasn’t it?”
“Huh?”
“Those clues we kept finding. That must have been Riku.”
Finally he looked to Sora, “I wasn’t sure if you guys would have ever caught on.” He said with a very slight smile. A smile, Sora could see, that was masking so much more…
“Why didn’t you let me know you were okay?” You asked with a hand to your heart…
“I told you. I didn’t want to be found. Not like this…I couldn’t. I fought with Ansem. With…Xehanort’s Heartless-- when it invaded my heart, and I won. But to use the power of darkness, I had to become Ansem myself.”
“Does that mean…you can’t change back?” Kairi asked
“This battle isn’t over. And until it is, I still need the power of darkness.” but I still wondered…would I ever be able to go back?
“Then…let’s finish it. You’re still Riku, no matter what!” Sora…you were always so strong…and so kind…
“I really didn’t think I would ever get my original body back, and when I did… I lost the power of darkness but…I was myself again.”
Riku sighed, “I was myself again, you were at my side, we were fighting together. Finally, for once we were fighting together instead of against one another. It meant a lot to me to have that chance. That chance to redeem myself…” he looked to Sora, “To redeem myself in your eyes…
“Then when we fought Xemnas, I almost lost you…” Riku was staring at Sora with emotion Sora couldn’t read. “When I saw you like that, wrapped within that ball of energy, your life being drained, I went numb… I just acted without much thought. You were alright in the end.” Riku sighed in relief, “You were alright…”
Sora couldn’t keep back any longer, pulling himself to Riku, embracing him strongly. Riku returned the embrace with just as much force, pressing his face to Sora’s neck, breathing in his sent once again.
“I never really wanted to leave that beach. Part of me didn’t want to go home. I was afraid…ashamed…I couldn’t face them all…” Riku pulled Sora back to face him, “I destroyed our would, allowed it to be swallowed by darkness. I put you all in danger. I betrayed you…I hurt you…I could never be forgiven…”
“Riku-”
“But I came back with you, I faced them all. All those smiling faces, welcoming us home…I felt sick. Sick with my whole self. I didn’t deserve this: to be welcomed with open arms and smiles. None of it. I should have died, I should have been banished, punished, something, anything…”
Sora grabbed at Riku’s shirt, “Riku please-” “I needed to be forgiven. But since no one knew what wrong I had done or just allowed me a clean slate, I needed to do something to feel worthy of the life I was given. So I tried hard everyday to make up to everyone what I had done: to them, to their world…to you. You…I …couldn’t forgive myself for how much I had hurt you… Even more so for falling in love with you. I couldn’t love you, I wasn’t worthy. But then I took it as punishment. My heart ached for you, I wanted to be with you so badly but I didn’t believe there would ever be a chance in the world that you would want me. So that was my punishment: unrequited love. I thought you loved Kairi but maybe part of myself knew but I couldn’t accept that. I couldn’t accept that I hurt the one person most important to me so much… and that person fell for me after all I had done. No, it just wasn’t right. So I ignored it and all the signs… but then you confessed to me and I…couldn’t accept it, because I didn’t deserve it…or so I had felt.”
Riku looked to Sora and noticed tears forming. He felt panic rise within himself, “No Sora, I’m not rejecting you again I…” Riku sighed keeping one hand on Sora’s shoulder, making sure he wouldn’t leave, and used the other to run through his own hair, collecting his thoughts.
“I wanted to explain to you why I did what did back then and now. I wanted you to understand or at least have some idea what was going through my head. And most of all I…wanted to apologize.” Riku looked to Sora sorrowfully, “I…am so sorry for everything, Sora. I-…I wish I could take back every bad thing I did to you. Take back every time I hurt you, but I cant… I don’t know how I could ever make up to you all that I’ve done to you. But I do love you and I want to be with you, if you forgive me and will have me.”
“Riku…” Sora shook his head and laughed with a voice full of tears, “Of course I’ll have you, dummy!” Sora hugged Riku tightly laughing and crying into his chest. Laughing for how happy he was, crying for the pain they both had to go through to get here.
They held onto each other for a long time just laughing, crying, kissing, and talking.
The night was beautiful. There was almost no sound except for the constant beat of the waves against the shore. And the island laid illuminated within the moon light. It was like day at night.
They ended their night sitting in the sand, holding hands as they kissed under the paopu tree. Just as they started to get up to leave Riku grabbed Sora’s hand to stop him. When Sora looked to him Riku pointed to a single paopu fruit on the tree. It was full and ready to be picked. Riku smiled at Sora as he moved to grab the fruit and Sora blushed fiercely. After Riku had acquired the fruit, he jumped down from the tree and turned to Sora with a knowing smirk, “Humor me, Sora, and share this with me. I know you’ve always wanted to try it.” Sora just blush as Riku moved to him. Pulling him into a one arm embrace, he bit into the fruit and moved his mouth to Sora’s to share the fruit. Sora shyly accepted and after Sora swallowed his piece Riku kissed Sora deeply. They broke for air and Riku moved to Sora’s ear and whispered to him seductively, “If two people share one, their destinies become intertwined. They'll remain part of each other’s lives no matter what.” He turned Sora’s chin to face him and kissed him longingly.
“We’ll be apart of each other lives, no matter what. I promise.” Riku had taken a hold of Sora’s head between his hands, looking him into the eyes as he had spoke. Sora could only blush and close his eyes in response as Riku moved in to take his lips again, now lovingly. Sora’s gasps from all the feeling building in his chest and Riku only kissed him deeper. Riku pushed Sora to the sand and broke the kiss to move to kiss down Sora’s chin and neck, stopping to suckling on his collarbone. Sora mewed lightly as Riku left his mark on his sun kissed skin. After examining his handiwork and feeling satisfied, he kissed his mark and moved to peck Sora on the lips before laying down on his side next to Sora. Sora looked to Riku a little lost as to way he had stopped and noticed Riku grabbing the discarded fruit, brushing the little sand that may have clung to it. As Riku finished he turned and notice the look Sora was giving him and smiled, “We should finish the fruit, just to be sure we do it right.”
Sora blushed and his heart began to pound. Riku was being so sweet, just laying with him as they took turns biting off piece of the fruit, sometimes sharing. Riku would brush Sora’s face lightly and speaking to him lovingly. Sora’s heart felt it would burst from the love he was feeling from Riku.
After they finished the fruit Riku just kissed around Sora’s face as gently as touches from a feather before pecking his lips just as softly, mentioning something about how they should head home, Sora vaguely remembered nodding and Riku standing pulling him to his feet as they headed for the beach…
-Beep-Beep-Beep- CLANK
Sora awoke in his bed feeling very un-rested. As he rubbed his eyes a troubling feeling came over him as he looked about himself lost.
No…last night…its wasn’t a dream, was it?
Sora looked about himself for some proof that the night before hadn’t been another cruel dream. Finding nothing, Sora started to become frantic before pausing and remembering vividly Riku kissing his collarbone rather heatedly. Desperate, Sora looked down, but found he was unable to see his collarbone. He frantically got up and rushed into the bathroom and looked into the mirror and found…a red mark on his collarbone. Sora slumped to the floor, far too relieved to move.
It wasn’t a dream…it wasn’t…
“Sora! Are you up?!” Sora’s mom called from downstairs.
Sora pricked his head up and called back to his mother, “Yes, Mom! I’m up!”
“Well hurry up and get ready! Riku’s down here waiting for you!”
“Riku‘s -” a load crack admitted as Sora’s head made contact with the counter above him.
“Oww.” Sora rubbed his head as he made his way out of the bathroom. He was going to go to his room, get dressed, and then head down but as soon as he left the bathroom he just needed to know Riku was really there. Sora bolted to the stairs and flew down them to find…Riku.
He was just standing there, waiting patiently and happened to turn as Sora pounded down the stairs. At first he look surprised but realization seemed to was over him as he smile at Sora and opened his arms to catch Sora in an embrace as Sora collided to his chest grabbing onto him frantically hugging him tightly.
“Sora! Don’t run down the stairs!” Sora's mom yelled to him as she entered the living room, then noticed how little attire her son had on, “And go get dressed young man! Your both going to end up late!”
Sora ignored her and clung to Riku, whispering, “It wasn’t a dream was it?”Riku held him close and whispered back, “No, Sora, it wasn’t a dream.”Sora looked up to Riku wanting to ask him something, but not able to find the words. Riku smiled at him as said, “We’ll be apart of each other’s lives, no mater what. I love you, Sora. Now go get dressed.” Riku finished with a smack to Sora’s butt to get him moving. Sora jumped but moved to the stairs and pause for a moment. Then smiled to Riku before running up them and getting ready.
-o0o-
They had walked hand-in-hand to school, now entering through the gates. Their talk had mostly consisted of Sora asking questions about the night before and Riku assuring him that it had all happened. Riku also mentioned that Sora had kept nodding off throughout the boat ride and walk home. Riku had to listen as Sora walked into his bedroom to make sure he’d make it. Sora only blushed when he heard that.
As they entered through the gates they spoke of little more than of casual things when Kairi ran up to meet them and stopped in front of them unexpectedly. “Hey!” she greeted them with a smile, then noticing the lock of hands had to look up and between the both of them with questioning looks, “You two, are you…?” She looked to Sora and Sora only blushed and looked away. Kairi turn her eyes to Riku, as did Sora, only less conspicuously.
Riku raised an eyebrow to Kairi, “Are we what?” Riku finished with a smirk.
Kairi raised an eyebrow of her own but followed up with, “Are you two an item now?”
Riku smiled and looked to Sora, “After last night, I’d hope we were.”
Sora blushed, “Riku, don’t say it like that!”
Kairi’s eyes grew twice their sizes, “What happened last night!?” She asked looking between them. Riku smirked. “Nothing happened!” Sora cried out, waving his hands frantically.
“Oh, I wouldn’t say nothing.”
“Riku!” Sora growled at him.
Kairi about gasped, “Sora! You didn’t! Already!?”
“No!” Sora cried out desperately, “We didn’t do anything like that!”
“Are you sure?” Kairi asked.
“Positive!”
“Riku?”
Riku shrugged, “Sure. Just like Sora said: ‘nothing happened’.” “She wont believe it, if you say it like that!”
“Who said I wanted her too?” “Riku!”
“Guys? …I’m confused.”
Riku only laughed and pulled Sora to him, “All you need to know, Kai, is that Sora and I are together now.”
“Really?” Kairi asked unsure looking between them and settling her eyes and Sora. Sora blushed and nodded.
Kairi squeed and hugged them both, “I’m so happy for you guys!”
Riku laughed and hugged her back, “I’m happy too.” Sora just continued to blush and mumbled, “me too…” wrapping an arm around Kairi as well.
After a few moments Kairi released them to run off to her friends after motioning to Sora to call her later.
Sora turned to Riku once they were alone, “Hey Riku?”
Riku turned to him, “Yes, Sora?”
Sora looked about nervously before meeting Riku’s eyes again, “Is it…really okay if we're together? I mean…I…”
Riku lifted Sora’s chin so their eyes made contact. “Yes Sora, it’s alright. We can be together. We’ll be together as long as our hearts tell us to be. We cant be together forever. No worries, Sora.” Riku said flicking his nose, “I’ll always be right by your side, as long as you want me to be. No…I’ll be here no matter what.”
Sora only blushed and smiled, relief flowing through him freely.
“Riku?” “Yes, Sora?” “…I love you.” “I love you too.”
And made there way into school, hand-in-hand…
There would be trouble in the future, Riku was sure. Much pain and turmoil. But, if in the end, his Sora would be smiling like he was now, it would all be alright. As long as they we’re together, as long as Sora was smiling, they could handle anything that came their way. That was something Riku believed now, that he may not have before: That together they could do anything.
They needed each other, they loved each other. Things had to work out in the end. No…things would work out in the end. They would be happy because they were together.
Riku watched Sora as he thought to himself, I was wrong, Sora
Sora shot him a magnificent smile, that breathed happiness.I was wrong…we can be together.
If two people share one, their destinies become intertwined. They'll remain part of each other’s lives no matter what…
A/N:
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