I fell for the woman of my dreams... and she turned out to be a he (YEAH, THAT!)
(Copied everything from this website)
By DAVID LOWE
Published: 27 Nov 2009
WHEN Ian Young sat down next to a beautiful woman in a packed cafe in Kuala Lumpur, he had no idea they would one day be married.
Nor did he know that his pretty companion was a man.
In just three years, Ian has gone from being a straight lad from Derby - who was with his previous girlfriend for eight years - to being in a full-time same-sex relationship.
Ian married 36-year-old Fatine, who is a pre-op transsexual, in a British civil partnership ceremony in May.
Big day ... Ian and Fatine at their 2009 civil ceremony
Jamie Jones
But now Fatine faces deportation back to Malaysia, where homosexuality is ILLEGAL.
Ian, 30, who owns his own property maintenance company, says: "I know it is hard for people to understand but I love Fatine. I feel lucky to have met such a caring, wonderful person.
"It doesn't matter to me that she is a transsexual - it's the person she is inside that I care about and love.
"I can't contemplate the idea of us not being together. I look at her and see a beautiful woman."
Ian met Fatine in a Starbucks cafe in the Malaysian capital's famous Petronas Towers in August 2006. He was working as a security officer in the country at the time.
He says: "I asked if I could nick the seat next to her. When she looked up and said, 'Yes' I was overwhelmed by her striking eyes and exotic features.
"We started talking and I was immediately impressed by how good her English was. When she got up to leave I asked for her number.
Kissed
"That's when she said she might not be what I was looking for and that she was actually a transsexual. I just said, 'Oh' and blushed with embarrassment. But for some reason I wasn't put off.
"I'd never met a transsexual before and my instinct was that I liked Fatine. Even if it was just as friends, I wanted to meet her again."
Exotic ... Fatine gets attention for her looks
Jamie Jones
Two days later Ian and Fatine, who was born Mohammed Fazdil Bin Min Bahari, met at a bar - and kissed at the end of the night.
Ian says: "It just felt right. My first impression in the coffee shop was that Fatine was a woman.
"If she happened to have male sex organs then that was some sort of birth defect. I never thought of her as a man."
The couple met twice more and agreed the feelings they had were more than just friendship.
Ian says: "I was planning to go back to the UK but Fatine was such a warm, gentle person she drew me in.
"I was treated like a meal ticket by other Malaysian girls. But Fatine was different - a successful make-up artist and independent woman."
But the fledgling relationship was not without its problems.
Ian says: "Being a straight man I did have a few concerns about the way I was feeling.
"I wondered if it meant I was gay and I was scared what had happened wasn't right, but I couldn't ignore how I felt."
Fatine, who has taken female hormones since the age of 17, does not want gender reassignment surgery because of the risks involved and because she is happy with her body as it is.
She was also nervous about starting a relationship in a country where transsexuals are often sacked or arrested.
Ian says: "She was disowned by her mother and had encountered a lot of prejudice.
"I began to understand that Fatine and her friends were not a freak show but ordinary people like you or me who just happened to have been born into the wrong body."
When Ian's contract finished five months later he returned to Derby, but he and Fatine realised they both felt strongly about each other. Ian arranged to return to Kuala Lumpur to work, but not before telling all to his mum Patricia.
He recalls: "Mum was fantastic. Having her support was a huge weight off my shoulders."
On his second visit, in October 2007, Ian and Fatine felt ready for a physical relationship.
It's official ... couple's civil partnership certificate
Ian says: "I was scared about what would happen if sex didn't work. I needn't have worried and it only helped bring us closer. If you love someone, you accept their body no matter how it is."
In December 2008 Ian arranged for Fatine to travel to the UK on a visitor's visa. However, a holiday soon became a long-term stay.
Ian says: "The realisation we could walk down the street together and be happy made it hard to contemplate ever going back to Malaysia.
"I started feeling incredibly proud to have Fatine on my arm."
A month into Fatine's visit Ian proposed and they applied to the Home Office for a Certificate of Approval to Marry. This allowed them to proceed with a civil partnership, which they hoped would support Fatine in getting a permanent visa.
Ian says of the ceremony: "My friends and family turned out to Derby Register Office and their presence was a huge boost.
"Everyone was so supportive. Mum said, 'I've got a son and a daughter now'. For Fatine it was strange to be surrounded by people who were so accepting of her and our relationship.
"Fatine wore a beautiful red silk dress and looked utterly stunning."
(This piece of article came from here)
"They also put my father’s name in it, which was unnecessary and my mother has been left frightened to leave the house," he added.
(Referring to Berita Harian's post which'd included his real name with the Bin ___ )
Fatine said she regretted that the community was taking it personally.
She said she appreciated that the Malays are very traditional and "people like me aren’t acceptable" and hoped that things would cool down eventually.
Fatine, who married Young in a civil partnership in May, faces deportation after her Leave to Remain visa was rejected by UK's Home Office over an "incorrect" photograph.
WHAT I THINK :
I don't think it's wrong to be gay. Not really. I, for one supports them but Fatine here, made it sound as if the country would haul her in a cell, merciless. Perhaps there are bodies who's pretty much uptight on these religious things. I for one am a moslem myself and being a homosexual is a big sin. Hell awaits for them and those who read Nabi Lut's story from the Quran should know the epilogue upon their homosexual activities. Sigh. The cons are much too great.
Moreover, how the hell did the pictures leaked out in the first place? If you know that your country does not allow same-sex marriages, you shouldn't be posting the pictures up on Facebook. The technology development in the country and the massive abuse done to it (Read : politics) have done enough damage. Fatine complained about being potentially accused with crime.
Aiyh. She left for UK with a visitor's pass. Then, she overstayed and now the Malaysian customs doesn't recognize her passport picture due to the stark changes. (A male in a girl's clothing) . She shouldn't be making things hard for herself. Come on la, there are a lot of homosexuals in Malaysia. Some of them have children already for god's sake. *feels annoyed at her for making Malaysia looks bad. I love my country* Hey, some of my friends are gay too and I'm okay with it!
Yes, I feel grossed out whenever I see a transsexual because I believe that you can happily be gay without being a female, you know? *justcoughslikecoughsasamicoughsandcoughsakihitocoughs* .
But you chose to be that way and be ready to face the consequences. Some of us are by your side and some of us are not. (I'm on the neutral side) . Its a little bit overwhelming as he's the first MOSLEM to participate in a same-sex marriage. I must say he has guts. The country has their eyes on him now.
Be brave Fatine, if you believe that your love is worth it. *dabs eyes with tissue* The romantic love story sounds devine. I was kinda shocked when they've openly uncovered the kiss and physical relationship thing. They don't even do it openly here within the hetrosexual community. (The Malays, anyways) . So, ... hopefully all goes well for you.
I R U K A
By DAVID LOWE
Published: 27 Nov 2009
WHEN Ian Young sat down next to a beautiful woman in a packed cafe in Kuala Lumpur, he had no idea they would one day be married.
Nor did he know that his pretty companion was a man.
In just three years, Ian has gone from being a straight lad from Derby - who was with his previous girlfriend for eight years - to being in a full-time same-sex relationship.
Ian married 36-year-old Fatine, who is a pre-op transsexual, in a British civil partnership ceremony in May.
Big day ... Ian and Fatine at their 2009 civil ceremony
Jamie Jones
But now Fatine faces deportation back to Malaysia, where homosexuality is ILLEGAL.
Ian, 30, who owns his own property maintenance company, says: "I know it is hard for people to understand but I love Fatine. I feel lucky to have met such a caring, wonderful person.
"It doesn't matter to me that she is a transsexual - it's the person she is inside that I care about and love.
"I can't contemplate the idea of us not being together. I look at her and see a beautiful woman."
Ian met Fatine in a Starbucks cafe in the Malaysian capital's famous Petronas Towers in August 2006. He was working as a security officer in the country at the time.
He says: "I asked if I could nick the seat next to her. When she looked up and said, 'Yes' I was overwhelmed by her striking eyes and exotic features.
"We started talking and I was immediately impressed by how good her English was. When she got up to leave I asked for her number.
Kissed
"That's when she said she might not be what I was looking for and that she was actually a transsexual. I just said, 'Oh' and blushed with embarrassment. But for some reason I wasn't put off.
"I'd never met a transsexual before and my instinct was that I liked Fatine. Even if it was just as friends, I wanted to meet her again."
Exotic ... Fatine gets attention for her looks
Jamie Jones
Two days later Ian and Fatine, who was born Mohammed Fazdil Bin Min Bahari, met at a bar - and kissed at the end of the night.
Ian says: "It just felt right. My first impression in the coffee shop was that Fatine was a woman.
"If she happened to have male sex organs then that was some sort of birth defect. I never thought of her as a man."
The couple met twice more and agreed the feelings they had were more than just friendship.
Ian says: "I was planning to go back to the UK but Fatine was such a warm, gentle person she drew me in.
"I was treated like a meal ticket by other Malaysian girls. But Fatine was different - a successful make-up artist and independent woman."
But the fledgling relationship was not without its problems.
Ian says: "Being a straight man I did have a few concerns about the way I was feeling.
"I wondered if it meant I was gay and I was scared what had happened wasn't right, but I couldn't ignore how I felt."
Fatine, who has taken female hormones since the age of 17, does not want gender reassignment surgery because of the risks involved and because she is happy with her body as it is.
She was also nervous about starting a relationship in a country where transsexuals are often sacked or arrested.
Ian says: "She was disowned by her mother and had encountered a lot of prejudice.
"I began to understand that Fatine and her friends were not a freak show but ordinary people like you or me who just happened to have been born into the wrong body."
When Ian's contract finished five months later he returned to Derby, but he and Fatine realised they both felt strongly about each other. Ian arranged to return to Kuala Lumpur to work, but not before telling all to his mum Patricia.
He recalls: "Mum was fantastic. Having her support was a huge weight off my shoulders."
On his second visit, in October 2007, Ian and Fatine felt ready for a physical relationship.
It's official ... couple's civil partnership certificate
Ian says: "I was scared about what would happen if sex didn't work. I needn't have worried and it only helped bring us closer. If you love someone, you accept their body no matter how it is."
In December 2008 Ian arranged for Fatine to travel to the UK on a visitor's visa. However, a holiday soon became a long-term stay.
Ian says: "The realisation we could walk down the street together and be happy made it hard to contemplate ever going back to Malaysia.
"I started feeling incredibly proud to have Fatine on my arm."
A month into Fatine's visit Ian proposed and they applied to the Home Office for a Certificate of Approval to Marry. This allowed them to proceed with a civil partnership, which they hoped would support Fatine in getting a permanent visa.
Ian says of the ceremony: "My friends and family turned out to Derby Register Office and their presence was a huge boost.
"Everyone was so supportive. Mum said, 'I've got a son and a daughter now'. For Fatine it was strange to be surrounded by people who were so accepting of her and our relationship.
"Fatine wore a beautiful red silk dress and looked utterly stunning."
(This piece of article came from here)
"They also put my father’s name in it, which was unnecessary and my mother has been left frightened to leave the house," he added.
(Referring to Berita Harian's post which'd included his real name with the Bin ___ )
Fatine said she regretted that the community was taking it personally.
She said she appreciated that the Malays are very traditional and "people like me aren’t acceptable" and hoped that things would cool down eventually.
Fatine, who married Young in a civil partnership in May, faces deportation after her Leave to Remain visa was rejected by UK's Home Office over an "incorrect" photograph.
WHAT I THINK :
I don't think it's wrong to be gay. Not really. I, for one supports them but Fatine here, made it sound as if the country would haul her in a cell, merciless. Perhaps there are bodies who's pretty much uptight on these religious things. I for one am a moslem myself and being a homosexual is a big sin. Hell awaits for them and those who read Nabi Lut's story from the Quran should know the epilogue upon their homosexual activities. Sigh. The cons are much too great.
Moreover, how the hell did the pictures leaked out in the first place? If you know that your country does not allow same-sex marriages, you shouldn't be posting the pictures up on Facebook. The technology development in the country and the massive abuse done to it (Read : politics) have done enough damage. Fatine complained about being potentially accused with crime.
Aiyh. She left for UK with a visitor's pass. Then, she overstayed and now the Malaysian customs doesn't recognize her passport picture due to the stark changes. (A male in a girl's clothing) . She shouldn't be making things hard for herself. Come on la, there are a lot of homosexuals in Malaysia. Some of them have children already for god's sake. *feels annoyed at her for making Malaysia looks bad. I love my country* Hey, some of my friends are gay too and I'm okay with it!
Yes, I feel grossed out whenever I see a transsexual because I believe that you can happily be gay without being a female, you know? *justcoughslikecoughsasamicoughsandcoughsakihitocoughs* .
But you chose to be that way and be ready to face the consequences. Some of us are by your side and some of us are not. (I'm on the neutral side) . Its a little bit overwhelming as he's the first MOSLEM to participate in a same-sex marriage. I must say he has guts. The country has their eyes on him now.
Be brave Fatine, if you believe that your love is worth it. *dabs eyes with tissue* The romantic love story sounds devine. I was kinda shocked when they've openly uncovered the kiss and physical relationship thing. They don't even do it openly here within the hetrosexual community. (The Malays, anyways) . So, ... hopefully all goes well for you.
I R U K A