(no subject)
Interesting time to be me, i think. There is so much to think about going forward: Teach for America, medical school, Chris... All these things are still in flux, not one of them definite, and yet I still find myself making plans for approximately when I want to get married so that I don't interfere with a difficult class load for the both of us. I need to choose where I want to be for the next two years of my life, and I am expected to do that by next Friday. When did I get so old?
But at the same time, I keep getting pulled backwards. Towards high school, towards people that I thought I had long forgotten. People I hurt, either intentionally or unintentionally. People that no longer want to be found. To times where I was truly a different person, with different goals, different worries, different preferences. It seems silly to me now that I used to feel uncomfortable if someone I wasn't very close with gave me a hug. And the people I hurt still come back to haunt me, every now and again, a fresh twist of guilt.
This is truly a liminal moment in my life.
But at the same time, I keep getting pulled backwards. Towards high school, towards people that I thought I had long forgotten. People I hurt, either intentionally or unintentionally. People that no longer want to be found. To times where I was truly a different person, with different goals, different worries, different preferences. It seems silly to me now that I used to feel uncomfortable if someone I wasn't very close with gave me a hug. And the people I hurt still come back to haunt me, every now and again, a fresh twist of guilt.
This is truly a liminal moment in my life.