bottom of a well
i'm at the library....
i checked out a depressing book but i really enjoy it....it's called "Well".... i wuld recommend it but i myself ove it... Get this....I got it less then 24 hours ago and I'm on page 152 out of 274 pages..... that just over half... it's adult fiction... not like.... big print or anything.... i'm just amazed at myself for reading that much xD
I feel better because I just ranted all my problems to the first open ear... Brenna...blessed Brenna....
but lately I've been feeling my all time lowest.... I bought chocolate as my drug: my anti-depresent.... the last few days at school I've been teary-eyed at least 3 times a day.... and it really sucks... and when someone asks me if i'm stressed or had a rough day or what's wrong and i say something like "do I really looked distressed? Can you tell?" or "been a bad couple of days" or "nothing's wrong... just nothing's great" they pity me and it makes me feel worse.... I don't know why....
i felt like the book im reading says. I feel like I'm at the bottom of a well and when I feel worse the well gets deeper until the world above me is just a speck and I have to squint to see it.... not as dramatic....
i think it's just a teen phase....
but i feel more lonely then I have ever.... and I miss Mac because he wanted me... he thought of me and I knew he did... he wanted me and cared.... but now he doesn't.... I'm 100% positive he doesn't think he loves me anymore because he immedantly started telling his new girlfriend he loves her.... cuz that's the kind of guy he is ....he doesnt know the difference between a girlfriend and a lover.....
I feel like I've no friends.... i mean sure, I have you guys but you guys aren't actually there for me... you go to a diffrent school and such... so I have to sit back until i find someone that will put up with me... that's worthy of my time and concern.... and sure... i find someone new occasionally but they're just a typical immature freshman.... i mean... yeah I'm an immature freshman...but to -me- this people.... ugh....
but i don't feel tear eyed any more.... i'm so glad i ranted away.....
i'm going to occupy myself with homework and read another 1/4 of this book....
we should make plans to hang out this weekend.... erin, liz and sabri.... downtown, sabri's how... whereever...
i checked out a depressing book but i really enjoy it....it's called "Well".... i wuld recommend it but i myself ove it... Get this....I got it less then 24 hours ago and I'm on page 152 out of 274 pages..... that just over half... it's adult fiction... not like.... big print or anything.... i'm just amazed at myself for reading that much xD
I feel better because I just ranted all my problems to the first open ear... Brenna...blessed Brenna....
but lately I've been feeling my all time lowest.... I bought chocolate as my drug: my anti-depresent.... the last few days at school I've been teary-eyed at least 3 times a day.... and it really sucks... and when someone asks me if i'm stressed or had a rough day or what's wrong and i say something like "do I really looked distressed? Can you tell?" or "been a bad couple of days" or "nothing's wrong... just nothing's great" they pity me and it makes me feel worse.... I don't know why....
i felt like the book im reading says. I feel like I'm at the bottom of a well and when I feel worse the well gets deeper until the world above me is just a speck and I have to squint to see it.... not as dramatic....
i think it's just a teen phase....
but i feel more lonely then I have ever.... and I miss Mac because he wanted me... he thought of me and I knew he did... he wanted me and cared.... but now he doesn't.... I'm 100% positive he doesn't think he loves me anymore because he immedantly started telling his new girlfriend he loves her.... cuz that's the kind of guy he is ....he doesnt know the difference between a girlfriend and a lover.....
I feel like I've no friends.... i mean sure, I have you guys but you guys aren't actually there for me... you go to a diffrent school and such... so I have to sit back until i find someone that will put up with me... that's worthy of my time and concern.... and sure... i find someone new occasionally but they're just a typical immature freshman.... i mean... yeah I'm an immature freshman...but to -me- this people.... ugh....
but i don't feel tear eyed any more.... i'm so glad i ranted away.....
i'm going to occupy myself with homework and read another 1/4 of this book....
we should make plans to hang out this weekend.... erin, liz and sabri.... downtown, sabri's how... whereever...