hallo to the old
well im fully convinced that my visions of being pinars love of her life are completly false and im just leading my slef to an empty room to which i believed she would be in. Shes with a dude, brandon, and from what her sister says hes a good guy and awsome guy infact. Thats good. she loves him she really does and i know im nothing more then just the past. i had my time with her. granted it wasnt a fully good time but ihave to play the shitty cards that were delt to me. all my cards arnt that bad i have a couple of aces in my hand but then im stuck with alot of ones. the more i wait for her the more she'll fall inlove with him and the more i wait the more im no longer in her heart. and to put it on my side the more i kill my self. im looking for something thats not there. i dont even think she loves me. trully. come to think of it i think that shes not inlove with me, but just stuck in a habit of saying i love you to me. so i guess ill stop waiting. and stop loving. i think im going to tare it out. find a new.try and make new love. its hard but ill try. i guesss the best thing is to do what she did and just get over our past. ive already gotten over her cheating of me... now all thats left is her. the final peice to the fucked up puzzle in life, but once again i guess i have to play the cards that were delt.