TITLE: All I Can Do
Iron Man (movie)
AUTHOR: Macx
RATING: PG-13
DISCLAIMER: None of the characters belong to me, sadly. They are owned by people with a lot more money
Author’s Voice of Warning (aka Author’s Note):
English is not my first language; it’s German. This is the best I can do. Any mistakes you find in here, collect them and you might win a prize The spell-checker said everything's okay, but you know how trustworthy those thingies are....
FEEDBACK: Loved
Very short. Not a drabble, maybe a ficlet :)
She needed this. She needed to know because she was supposed to know. She was his personal assistant. It was what she did, whatever came her way, whatever curveball he threw her.
It had been Rhodes who had called her about Tony Stark’s rescue. He hadn’t been very forthcoming with the details, but he had reassured Pepper that Tony was okay, considering the circumstances. That very moment, Pepper had been close to breaking down and crying like a little kid, but she had composed herself. With eyes swimming with unshed tears she had told Rhodey she would handle all the necessary preparations.
She had broken down and cried, but only an hour later when she was back in her office at Stark’s mansion. Only Jarvis had been witness to Pepper burying her head in a pillow and sobbing her relief.
Forty-eight hours later Tony stepped off the military transport, looking thin, pale, worn, exhausted, and very haunted. The dark dress suit couldn’t hide the abuse his body had suffered from. She had faced him with a game face, but her eyes had betrayed her, and while his words were meant to pick her up and smooth over the emotional situation, she had seen how much he was trying to hide.
Just how much that was Tony revealed to her right after the press conference that had shocked the world - and Pepper herself. Hearing about the arc reactor had been like dreaming a B-movie. When she had first seen it, she had nearly freaked. It was like an open wound - even though the wound had been sealed with a metal plate. It was alien and shouldn’t be in a human body. It was dangerous because it was a reactor. It was also the only thing that kept her boss alive.
The thought that Tony had tiny shrapnel inside his chest, just waiting to kill him, had rattled her. Pepper had immediately contacted specialists, but when they had gotten back to her, the news had been devastating. There was no cure. Surgery was too dangerous and almost always ended fatal or crippling the patient. Pepper had felt her world collapse.
She had adjusted to the arc reactor, mainly because there was no way to ignore it. It sat prominently in the middle of Tony’s chest and it glowed through all kinds of fabric. When he also asked her to assist in implanting the Mark II reactor, Pepper had nearly had a nervous breakdown.
Not because this was freaky.
Not because she was almost to her wrist in Tony’s chest.
Not because of the plasma substance.
Because his life was in her hands. Because he had been so damn calm about it. Because one wrong move would end something she had only just begun to understand.
When the new reactor had snapped into place, glowing warmly and reassuringly, Pepper had been so very close to just sitting down on the floor and crying her relief.
Instead she had pushed all her bubbling emotions back into place and had taken her leave.
Things hadn’t slowed down from there at all. If anything, they had picked up speed, right down to Obadiah’s death. That had dealt Tony another blow, on top of his emotional turmoil and the nightmares he was already suffering from.
Pepper knew about the nightmares. Because Jarvis knew about the nightmares. She didn’t know when she had grown closer with the AI; but the three months of constant worry and the threat of never seeing Tony again had let her talk to Jarvis a lot more. She had begun to understand what Tony saw in his creation; Jarvis was a lot more human than should be possible for a computer system.
Pepper had also consciously made the step to approach the doctors who had treated Tony in Afghanistan. Through Rhodey she had the connections to find them. The talks had lasted hours. She had been left with information on what to expect from Tony, how to handle his mood changes, and how to help him.
She needed this. She needed to know because she was supposed to know. She was his personal assistant. It was what she did, whatever came her way, whatever curveball he threw her.
“Good morning, Jarvis,” Pepper greeted the AI as she stepped into the house.
The windows showed the brilliant blue vista of the ocean, the sun was out and the sky was almost cloudless.
“Good morning, Ms Potts,” came the pleasant reply from the resident AI.
“Is Mr. Stark already awake?”
She shouldn’t really ask. Pepper knew Tony hadn’t slept well lately. Where she had sometimes stumbled into him running around half-dressed or just fresh out of the shower, she now found him in his workshop, up to his eyebrows in grease. If she was really lucky, Tony had fallen asleep on the couch. Nowadays she should only be so lucky…
“He hasn’t been to bed yet,” Jarvis answered and she detected misgiving in his smooth voice.
Pepper sighed. “Again?”
“I’m afraid so.”
She descended down into the workshop. The glass partitions had been repaired, so instead of stepping over the empty frame as she had done in the past days, she keyed in the access code.
The workshop was well-lit and the Iron Man suit immediately drew her attention. It hung suspended over a cleared area, the armor plates peeled back, wires and cables peeking out. Tony was leaning over his work table, welding.
Pepper’s eyes fell on the soft glow of the arc reactor and she suppressed a shiver. She had seen it in all its gruesome details. She had had her hands inside it, for god’s sake! Still, it didn’t disfigure Tony in her eyes. It was a reminder of what could have happened, what had happened, and evidence of Stark’s change.
It was his construction. He had made the prototype in a cave in Afghanistan with the bare essentials. He had survived like this and he had gone on, becoming stronger. Pepper knew Tony long enough to see the changes in him, the progress, his evolution into a person he could have been a long time ago.
She had never doubted his courage in the past. What he had done, what he had made of Stark Industries, had taken courage. He had taken over the reigns at twenty-one and made the company an international success. Now he had turned everything around and it wasn’t the expected failure. Stocks were rising; even the military was still working with him.
“Are you going to stand there and stare all day, Potts?”
His voice startled her and Pepper drew herself out of his musings. “You have an appointment at ten.”
“Jarvis, the time please?”
“Eight-oh-two.”
Tony smiled at her. “Still enough time.”
Pepper eyed him with a critical expression. “You still need to shower. I’d also advise a shave and maybe a suit instead of your workshop clothes.”
Tony spread his arms and looked down his slender frame. And he was slender, Pepper thought with dismay. He had lost weight. She didn’t like it and the usually lean figure looked gaunt some mornings.
“What’s wrong with my clothes?” he teased.
“For one, they’re full of oil and grease and unspeakable things. Second, your board members expect you to at least look like the CEO they once knew. Third, Happy would skin you alive if you spread this gunk on the Rolls’ leather.”
Tony raised his index finger. “One, it’s coffee and pizza, not ‘unspeakable things’. I didn’t have sex in the workshop - ever!”
Pepper grimaced.
The middle finger rose. “Two, they are an intolerant bunch of dusty old men and uppity young snobs. Third, Happy has the good graces not to skin his boss.”
She sighed and just raised her brows. Pepper was so close to hitting him with her PC tablet, but she didn’t let it show -- much. “You might want to consider travelling time, too.”
“How about we video-conference the whole thing?”
Pepper was really, really close to violence now, but looking into the smeared features she saw a few more lines than Tony usually sported. She looked into the dark eyes and found shadows there that had taken up residence ever since his return.
Instead of compassion she set her face into a ‘there’s no compromise’ expression. Tony sighed deeply.
“You don’t play fair.”
“Neither do you.”
Tony wiped his hands on a rag and shut down the welding tool. “Jarvis? Secure all files. Store them on my private server as usual.”
“Done, sir.”
Stark walked toward the steps, Pepper trailing after him. She couldn’t do anything about the nightmares because Tony himself refused help, but she could be there for him in whatever capacity she was capable to be.