Dr. Jim's Cookbook Experiments, episode 3: Chicken Maryland
We interrupt this post for an essential newsflash from the all-new liberal blog, Voithe of Portland - which is so dedicated to the eradication of "toxic masculinity" that the contributors all write in the same put-on effeminate lisp they talk with.
"Thith, like, literally evil, white thupremathitht, mithogynitht bigot from Notting-ham, England, hath been thpreading hate thpeech from hith kitchen by cooking problematic mealth. The evil bigot, who refutheth to uthe gender-neutral pronounth for xorthelf, wath theen by a good and noble Antifa informer who pothted pictureth of the bigot on thocial media, tho we know where he liveth. We hear altho, that the mealth were not even vegan, which ith, like, literally, tho triggering and we can't even. Everyone *CLAP* thould *CLAP* take *CLAP* direct *CLAP* action *CLAP* againtht *CLAP* thith *CLAP* fathitht *CLAP* now! (etc, etc, etc.)"
We further interrupt this post with another message, this time an excerpt from Rush Limbaugh's all-new radio show, For Gaaahd And Country. Remember him? He used to be the voice of Conservative-with-a-capital-C 'MURICA until The Daily Wire, The Blaze, Breitbart and so on and so forth stole his thunder. He's angry, and so are all his guests.
"Y'all see, there's this asshole in Naahtting Ham, which ah think maahght be in London, Eng-land, which is entaaahrely pahpulated bah Muz-lims, 'cuz everyone in Yurop is a gosh-darn-it-ta-heck cuck. An' he says he's pro-'Murican FREEDOM an' an-taaah-Leftist, but ah know he ain't speakin' Gaaahd's Honest Truth™. Y'all see, he wuz in the kitchen, which is where his waaaahfe should be, all the taaahme, 'cept he ain't even got a waaahfe. What are y'all, gay? A curse o' Holy Gaaaahd aaahn y'all. An' what was he makin' for dinner? So help me Gaaahd, it was... CHICKEN MARYLAND! That's a gosh-darn-it-ta-heck BLUE STATE, y'all! A place where only COMMIES and LIBRULS and other folks who have rejected GAAAAHD come from! Y'all will burn in the faaahres o' Heck, ah say (etc, etc, etc.)"
Cannons to the right of me, cannons to the left. Still, at least the oven's working. Good job, too, because the Tradcon Religious Right Wingnut was correct in one detail, i.e. what I was making in the kitchen. But before I present the evidence, here's the customary way to repeat what I was doing. Better still, this is a DOUBLE WHAMMY, because Chicken Maryland has a traditional accompaniment - Sweetcorn Fritters - which I couldn't possibly leave out. Both recipes are from Jeni Wright's Marks & Spencer All-Colour Cookery Book that's even older than I am.
You will need:
- 4 chicken portions, skinned
- "some "flour for coating
- "some" salt and black pepper
- one beaten egg
- 100 g / 4 oz dried breadcrumbs (I think you can get away with 80 g / 3 oz)
- "some" butter
- one tin of sweetcorn, drained (or about 200 g of frozen sweetcorn, boiled for about 5 minutes)
- 100 g / 4 oz more flour
- another beaten egg, not mixed with the first
Coat the chicken portions in flour seasoned with salt (not too much!) and black pepper, then dip in the (first) beaten egg. Cover with the breadcrumbs, making sure the chicken is thoroughly coated. Melt a knob of butter and two spoons of oil in a large frying pan. Put in all the chicken portions and fry gently until golden brown on all sides. Transfer to a casserole dish, cover and bake in a moderate oven (180°C / 350°F / Gas Mark 4) for about 45 minutes or until the chicken is tender when pierced with a skewer.
Interlude: Part one of the process...
Looks good so far, doesn't it? Also, rolling the chicken around in flour and egg and breadcrumbs made lots of sticky bits that stuck to my hands, and to the flour board, so I scraped them all off and threw them in the pan afterwards - as well as all the rest of the flour on the board, the unused breadcrumbs, and the protein-juice left in the bottom of the bowl after the chicken had defrosted. Here's the result of that:
See, if Jeremy Corbyn wasn't a vegetablist who is literally, tho thorry (but not really) that he isn't a vegan, he'd actually approve of my efforts to cut down food waste. This pan of scraps would have been some extra treats for a couple of hungry children, but as I don't have any, I had to eat the lot myself. Oh, the hardship. Anyway, back to the main event.
With about 15 minutes to go:
Sift the (measured) flour and salt into a mixing bowl. Make a well in the centre, put in the (second) beaten egg and gradually beat in half the milk, drawing in the flour from the sides of the bowl. Beat the mixture vigorously for a few minutes, then pour in the remaining milk and beat to remove any lumps. Mix in the sweetcorn, and add black pepper to taste. Heat two spoons of oil in a frying pan. Put in a few spoonfuls of the sweetcorn batter, well spaced, leaving room for the mixture to spread. Fry for 2 to 3 minutes on each side until risen and golden brown. Drain on absorbent kitchen paper and keep hot while cooking the remainder, adding and heating additional oil as necessary.
So, in accordance with Maryland being Clutch's home state, chant the magic incantation - "I Have The Body Of John Wilkes Booth" - and see the result...
The verdict is: I've overcooked it. The chicken was a bit dry, although the crispy coating was absolutely spot on. Some 'MURICAN (all right, not really) barbecue sauce helped lessen the effect of the over-roasting. Of course, there was no such thing as fan-assisted ovens in 1976, so I could probably have left the chicken in for only 35 minutes rather than 45. Nevertheless, it made two acceptable dinners, and there was enough sweetcorn fritter mixture to use half on one day and half on the other. I've taken the picture on day two, as the fritters came out better, and I had 'MURICAN hash browns instead of crinkle-cut chips. Although I always say, anyone who doesn't like crinkle-cut chips is a communist.
This is a recipe I've made before, but I was living in Essex so it was over 20 years ago and I can't remember if it turned out OK. Still, I know what to do better next time, and there probably will be a next time.
"Thith, like, literally evil, white thupremathitht, mithogynitht bigot from Notting-ham, England, hath been thpreading hate thpeech from hith kitchen by cooking problematic mealth. The evil bigot, who refutheth to uthe gender-neutral pronounth for xorthelf, wath theen by a good and noble Antifa informer who pothted pictureth of the bigot on thocial media, tho we know where he liveth. We hear altho, that the mealth were not even vegan, which ith, like, literally, tho triggering and we can't even. Everyone *CLAP* thould *CLAP* take *CLAP* direct *CLAP* action *CLAP* againtht *CLAP* thith *CLAP* fathitht *CLAP* now! (etc, etc, etc.)"
We further interrupt this post with another message, this time an excerpt from Rush Limbaugh's all-new radio show, For Gaaahd And Country. Remember him? He used to be the voice of Conservative-with-a-capital-C 'MURICA until The Daily Wire, The Blaze, Breitbart and so on and so forth stole his thunder. He's angry, and so are all his guests.
"Y'all see, there's this asshole in Naahtting Ham, which ah think maahght be in London, Eng-land, which is entaaahrely pahpulated bah Muz-lims, 'cuz everyone in Yurop is a gosh-darn-it-ta-heck cuck. An' he says he's pro-'Murican FREEDOM an' an-taaah-Leftist, but ah know he ain't speakin' Gaaahd's Honest Truth™. Y'all see, he wuz in the kitchen, which is where his waaaahfe should be, all the taaahme, 'cept he ain't even got a waaahfe. What are y'all, gay? A curse o' Holy Gaaaahd aaahn y'all. An' what was he makin' for dinner? So help me Gaaahd, it was... CHICKEN MARYLAND! That's a gosh-darn-it-ta-heck BLUE STATE, y'all! A place where only COMMIES and LIBRULS and other folks who have rejected GAAAAHD come from! Y'all will burn in the faaahres o' Heck, ah say (etc, etc, etc.)"
Cannons to the right of me, cannons to the left. Still, at least the oven's working. Good job, too, because the Tradcon Religious Right Wingnut was correct in one detail, i.e. what I was making in the kitchen. But before I present the evidence, here's the customary way to repeat what I was doing. Better still, this is a DOUBLE WHAMMY, because Chicken Maryland has a traditional accompaniment - Sweetcorn Fritters - which I couldn't possibly leave out. Both recipes are from Jeni Wright's Marks & Spencer All-Colour Cookery Book that's even older than I am.
You will need:
- 4 chicken portions, skinned
- "some "flour for coating
- "some" salt and black pepper
- one beaten egg
- 100 g / 4 oz dried breadcrumbs (I think you can get away with 80 g / 3 oz)
- "some" butter
- one tin of sweetcorn, drained (or about 200 g of frozen sweetcorn, boiled for about 5 minutes)
- 100 g / 4 oz more flour
- another beaten egg, not mixed with the first
Coat the chicken portions in flour seasoned with salt (not too much!) and black pepper, then dip in the (first) beaten egg. Cover with the breadcrumbs, making sure the chicken is thoroughly coated. Melt a knob of butter and two spoons of oil in a large frying pan. Put in all the chicken portions and fry gently until golden brown on all sides. Transfer to a casserole dish, cover and bake in a moderate oven (180°C / 350°F / Gas Mark 4) for about 45 minutes or until the chicken is tender when pierced with a skewer.
Interlude: Part one of the process...
Looks good so far, doesn't it? Also, rolling the chicken around in flour and egg and breadcrumbs made lots of sticky bits that stuck to my hands, and to the flour board, so I scraped them all off and threw them in the pan afterwards - as well as all the rest of the flour on the board, the unused breadcrumbs, and the protein-juice left in the bottom of the bowl after the chicken had defrosted. Here's the result of that:
See, if Jeremy Corbyn wasn't a vegetablist who is literally, tho thorry (but not really) that he isn't a vegan, he'd actually approve of my efforts to cut down food waste. This pan of scraps would have been some extra treats for a couple of hungry children, but as I don't have any, I had to eat the lot myself. Oh, the hardship. Anyway, back to the main event.
With about 15 minutes to go:
Sift the (measured) flour and salt into a mixing bowl. Make a well in the centre, put in the (second) beaten egg and gradually beat in half the milk, drawing in the flour from the sides of the bowl. Beat the mixture vigorously for a few minutes, then pour in the remaining milk and beat to remove any lumps. Mix in the sweetcorn, and add black pepper to taste. Heat two spoons of oil in a frying pan. Put in a few spoonfuls of the sweetcorn batter, well spaced, leaving room for the mixture to spread. Fry for 2 to 3 minutes on each side until risen and golden brown. Drain on absorbent kitchen paper and keep hot while cooking the remainder, adding and heating additional oil as necessary.
So, in accordance with Maryland being Clutch's home state, chant the magic incantation - "I Have The Body Of John Wilkes Booth" - and see the result...
The verdict is: I've overcooked it. The chicken was a bit dry, although the crispy coating was absolutely spot on. Some 'MURICAN (all right, not really) barbecue sauce helped lessen the effect of the over-roasting. Of course, there was no such thing as fan-assisted ovens in 1976, so I could probably have left the chicken in for only 35 minutes rather than 45. Nevertheless, it made two acceptable dinners, and there was enough sweetcorn fritter mixture to use half on one day and half on the other. I've taken the picture on day two, as the fritters came out better, and I had 'MURICAN hash browns instead of crinkle-cut chips. Although I always say, anyone who doesn't like crinkle-cut chips is a communist.
This is a recipe I've made before, but I was living in Essex so it was over 20 years ago and I can't remember if it turned out OK. Still, I know what to do better next time, and there probably will be a next time.