Dr. Jim's Cookbook Experiments, episode 0: Preliminaries
About a couple of weeks ago, needing to get out the house, I went on a walk round Highfields Park, to see if I could spot a couple of patches of Japanese knotweed that had been reported there (and which people who deal with legal matters in the housing market might want to know about). I didn't see them, but somewhere near the back end of the lake, a chestnut tree saw fit to shower me with its wares. One cluster fell off the tree right in front of me, and who am I to refuse a gift of providence? I didn't have anything to pick them up with, not without an annoying amount of pain involved, but I filled my pockets with sharp, spiny goodness, took them all home and threw the larger nuts in the oven for 35 minutes.
They turned out rather well, I thought. Quite a few of the cases had several smaller nuts, but they were reduced to hard, teeth-shattering nuggets that were barely edible. The large ones, though... spot on. Unfortunately, a repeat performance next autumn is unlikely - this is one of the slightly annoying aspects of being about to move to a part of the country where trees are few and far between. Still, Iceland has it far worse on that front, so I won't complain too much. And Thetford Forest won't be all that far away...
I did also mention that I've bought a new sandwich toaster (several times), as well as some waffle plates, so the old waffle maker that I bought off Fleabay in 2006 - after the Great Norwegian Adventure - can be pensioned off. There's no need for thin, heart-shaped waffles when you can get The Full Belgian:
The waffle recipe I've so far used in the old device has really come up trumps on this one (so much that God-Emperor Trump himself will shortly be ordering the same model for the White House, Trump Tower, his private golf course and the nuclear bunker somewhere in Nebraska). You will need:
- a ladle of flour, levelled off (around 50 g);
- a shot glass of milk (around 50 ml);
- a tablespoon of oil (around 15 ml);
- one egg.
Brush the plates with oil so it doesn't stick, and this mixture should be enough to cover the plates and make two waffles. Get the waffle maker up to temperature, pour in the mixture and they'll be done in seven minutes.
For chocolate waffles, add:
- one dessert spoon of white sugar;
- one teaspoon of cocoa.
And for GOD-EMPEROR TRUMP'S GUN-WIELDIN', V8-POWERED, ALL-'MURICAN WAFFLES OF FREEDOM AND LIBERTY, add:
- one dessert spoon of brown (orange?) sugar;
- one teaspoon of cinnamon.
That's what you see above in the picture. I think it would be absolutely perfect - although a little bit more Canadian - if I added some further embellishments from a scene in Red Dwarf's third series. It's from The Last Day, never a fan favourite, but this scene is a cracker...
KRYTEN: As I was saying, sir, breakfast is served.
LISTER: Kryten, how many times have I told you? I hate all this master-servant stuff. I'm me own man, you're your own man, I'll get me own smeggin' breakfast.
KRYTEN: Very good, sir. Goodbye, waffles. Goodbye, maple syrup. Goodbye, fresh cream, so long, fresh strawberries. Bon appetit, bin!
I may loathe all that master-servant smeg as much as Lister, but there'll be no chance of that happening with me around. Mainly because I don't have a Divadroid Series 4000 mechanoid to make the waffles, but I have the next best thing, and that's good enough for me.
They turned out rather well, I thought. Quite a few of the cases had several smaller nuts, but they were reduced to hard, teeth-shattering nuggets that were barely edible. The large ones, though... spot on. Unfortunately, a repeat performance next autumn is unlikely - this is one of the slightly annoying aspects of being about to move to a part of the country where trees are few and far between. Still, Iceland has it far worse on that front, so I won't complain too much. And Thetford Forest won't be all that far away...
I did also mention that I've bought a new sandwich toaster (several times), as well as some waffle plates, so the old waffle maker that I bought off Fleabay in 2006 - after the Great Norwegian Adventure - can be pensioned off. There's no need for thin, heart-shaped waffles when you can get The Full Belgian:
The waffle recipe I've so far used in the old device has really come up trumps on this one (so much that God-Emperor Trump himself will shortly be ordering the same model for the White House, Trump Tower, his private golf course and the nuclear bunker somewhere in Nebraska). You will need:
- a ladle of flour, levelled off (around 50 g);
- a shot glass of milk (around 50 ml);
- a tablespoon of oil (around 15 ml);
- one egg.
Brush the plates with oil so it doesn't stick, and this mixture should be enough to cover the plates and make two waffles. Get the waffle maker up to temperature, pour in the mixture and they'll be done in seven minutes.
For chocolate waffles, add:
- one dessert spoon of white sugar;
- one teaspoon of cocoa.
And for GOD-EMPEROR TRUMP'S GUN-WIELDIN', V8-POWERED, ALL-'MURICAN WAFFLES OF FREEDOM AND LIBERTY, add:
- one dessert spoon of brown (orange?) sugar;
- one teaspoon of cinnamon.
That's what you see above in the picture. I think it would be absolutely perfect - although a little bit more Canadian - if I added some further embellishments from a scene in Red Dwarf's third series. It's from The Last Day, never a fan favourite, but this scene is a cracker...
KRYTEN: As I was saying, sir, breakfast is served.
LISTER: Kryten, how many times have I told you? I hate all this master-servant stuff. I'm me own man, you're your own man, I'll get me own smeggin' breakfast.
KRYTEN: Very good, sir. Goodbye, waffles. Goodbye, maple syrup. Goodbye, fresh cream, so long, fresh strawberries. Bon appetit, bin!
I may loathe all that master-servant smeg as much as Lister, but there'll be no chance of that happening with me around. Mainly because I don't have a Divadroid Series 4000 mechanoid to make the waffles, but I have the next best thing, and that's good enough for me.