The Five Months of Magical Thinking.
I have been in Cancun for just over two months now. I was in Veracruz for 2 and a half months, approximately. According to my calculations, I have been in Mexico for five months now....but August is a long month, so for it to be official, I need two more days on this calendar. I don't know what to say about the last two months, as I'm clearly torn, and those who know me know the reason why. I loved Veracruz, every single inch of it was teeming with excitement and wonder, and magic way beyond my explanation. When I left Veracruz I actually shed a tear, something I didn't do when I left New York. But Cancun was more attractive in the sense that the pay is better, the quality of life is better, and the nightlife is supposed to be better, but that's the thing. If you are not a fratboy, a raver, a soririty girl, or a pretentious cunt, then you'll probably find Cancun's nightlife to be slightly overrated. I have not had the good times that I thought I could have in this town. Even SexMex has been MIA for the past month (or so)....whatever happened to people just walking up to me and telling me that I was hot after having had sex twice***? NADA, that's nothing for people who really are just assholes and refuse to listen to the people picking up their garbage, or to the people waiting their tables or preparing their food at ANY restaurant in the U.S. So, of course when Lorenzo came and visited, I thought to myself "I should get the fuck out of here and get back to Veracruz to where I belong." After all, it was in Veracruz that I acquired my dog (yes, the one I had to put down in NY when he was 13 years old), and it was in Veracruz that I had first fallen in love (when I was 12, and it didn't end well...) and it was in Veracruz where I had taken my first steps, spoken my first word, touched my first flower (something I like to do to this day). Cancun seemed irrelevant, what the fuck is this town about, anyway? But the truth is...that while I love my Veracruz, I can't really leave the job I have now, it's too good! It looks good on paper, it's taught me things that no office job in Rockland could have done, it's a very prestigious company in this country and...yeah, did I say that I could get away with murder? because I can. So, I have to put my feet on the ground and admit to myself that my life here IS better than when I was in New York...sorry, but to those who know me, the Manager position at Tascha was bullshit, it was shitty pay and a lot of work, doesn't matter how much I loved the place. This is "eh" pay, light work, a lot of authority...LOVE it. To my NY friend, I love you, and I miss you, but the thing is...your economy is kinda bad. The job I have now is too awesome, the life I have is definitely beyond awesome (um....let me clarify, I have an SUV, a job, a house that I don't pay rent for, a very good job, and no friends) so yeah, you know where I'm getting at. Needless to say, the first opportunity I find to go back to Veracruz I will do it...not just because I'm trying to prove a point, but because...I just can't stand not being there...it calls every now and then, and I can't help but feel that I need to answer that call. I love NY and all, but Veracruz is my shit. To those of you who are worried, don't. I do plan on coming back to NYC, but please indulge me. I am having the fucking time of my life in this fucking insane country. I just wish Lorenzo had visited me while I was still in Veracruz.
***with the same person