Sitting on a hill over looking Milwaukee.
My head has been in the wrong space all day. So as the day progressed, it just seemed to get worse. Finally I figured out I was rather sad. Not so much about any one thing but about everything. I started looking at my life, and I came to the realization, that I seem to fear emotional intimacy. Its hard for me to let people in. I think thats why I come off as cocky or brash sometimes.
This whole thing started, because tonight was one of those nights when I was actually missing being in the military. So I asked myself why, and it pretty much went from there. I realized that as much fun as I had this weekend, I don't really have a circle of friends that I hang out with consistently. I have friends, but most live in other cities. From there I ended up thinking about my relationships. I miss having a girlfriend I can see on a daily or semi-daily basis. I realised I miss both physical intimacy and the emotional intimacy that developes. I miss having a circle of friends that all know the inside jokes.
I guess I just feel like I need to be a part of something more local. I still feel like I haven't reconnected. Is there a place, where you can go and just randomly start talking to people that doesn't involve alchol? Then thinking about the whole alchol thing got me thinking about my own drinking habits, and how I need to be careful as not to become an alcholic. My mind has just been wirling and twirling about today. I think I am going to read a book or something. If any reads this and feels like talking give me a call. I am sure I will be up until at least 2am. I feel like face to face interaction with some one, or at least hearing a voice. Not really in the mood for computer interaction.
This whole thing started, because tonight was one of those nights when I was actually missing being in the military. So I asked myself why, and it pretty much went from there. I realized that as much fun as I had this weekend, I don't really have a circle of friends that I hang out with consistently. I have friends, but most live in other cities. From there I ended up thinking about my relationships. I miss having a girlfriend I can see on a daily or semi-daily basis. I realised I miss both physical intimacy and the emotional intimacy that developes. I miss having a circle of friends that all know the inside jokes.
I guess I just feel like I need to be a part of something more local. I still feel like I haven't reconnected. Is there a place, where you can go and just randomly start talking to people that doesn't involve alchol? Then thinking about the whole alchol thing got me thinking about my own drinking habits, and how I need to be careful as not to become an alcholic. My mind has just been wirling and twirling about today. I think I am going to read a book or something. If any reads this and feels like talking give me a call. I am sure I will be up until at least 2am. I feel like face to face interaction with some one, or at least hearing a voice. Not really in the mood for computer interaction.