Redefinition (RP for starspangledcap)

[iron_tony]

*OOC -- Yes, finally.

Tony didn't make up his mind right away.

After he heard Sally's speech at the awards banquet, after he met the girl and her mother at the reception, he knew he would have to talk to Steve. But nothing had changed, really; the cirumstances that made their meeting in person a foolish risk were the same as ever. Tony

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[starspangledcap]

Steve's blood rushed hot through his veins as Tony started kissing his neck, but he tried valiantly to keep his focus. The last thing they needed was for him to accidentally slit his own throat because he was distracted by Tony's warm mouth.

But then Tony was asking his question, and Steve felt himself blushing for an entirely different reason. He'd hardly discussed his sexuality with anyone - just Piotr, really, all those months ago, plus the few words he'd had with Bernie and Sam. And yet, this time, after all the months he'd spent getting used to the idea, the words came easily.

"Since forever, I suppose," he answered. "I've always had urges, feelings - things I felt when I saw... attractive male movie stars, for instance. Or, well..." He cleared his throat, and the blush returned. "you. I just didn't recognize what those urgeswere. The other world may have helped me define those feelings, and come to terms with them, but... it didn't create them."

He bent down and splashed water on his face, washing away the last of the shaving cream and tiny dark bristles, and turned around to face Tony, letting his shirt fall to the floor. "I still like women, to some extent," he said, and he leaned in to kiss Tony on the lips, fully and forcefully. "But I like this more."

[iron_tony]

For a moment, Tony permitted himself to get lost in the kiss.

It was a nice kiss to be lost in.

Then he turned his head to one side and rested his chin on Steve's shoulder. "I like you," he said simply, as he thought over Steve's words. Steve made it all sound so straightforward; he spoke, and he moved, with such confidence. Tony wondered why he had expected anything else. This was the Steve Rogers he had always known. Whatever self-assuredness the man had lost in the war, his time in exile had somehow given it back.

Tony moved back to look Steve in the eyes. He couldn't offer such a direct, candid statement as Steve had done because, frankly, he had worked pretty hard for most of his life and not understanding himself. But Tony owed it to Steve to be honest in any way he could, and so he repeated. "I like you. I want to go to bed with you. I can't remember a time when I didn't want to go to bed with you. I can also think of a thousand reasons that it's a bad idea, and I bet you can think of a hundred times that many. So. . . ."

Tony would go along with the next move, whatever it was, but it had to belong to Steve.

[starspangledcap]

Steve moved his hands to Tony's hips, hooking his thumbs over the waistband of Tony's pants and pulling him forward a tiny bit, almost possessively. Even in the garish bathroom lighting, Tony looked beautiful. And despite everything Steve had assumed over these past few months, Tony still wanted him. Had, apparently, always wanted him.

"I've denied myself a lot of things, Tony, because I thought they were 'bad ideas.'" Steve began, slowly. "But as far as bad ideas go, this doesn't rank anywhere near the top of any potential list. And I'm tired of self-denial. I want this. I want you. I l-" No. He wasn't going to say that, no matter how true it was - not when it could send this whole thing spinning away from him. "I want us to do this."

And he moved his hands to the buckle of Tony's belt.

[iron_tony]

Tony was pretty damn tired of both of them being afraid to say what they meant. So, as Steve's hands moved over him, he said, "I love you. Whatever happens, has happened, will happen between us, that isn't going to change."

Steve's hands worked below his waist; Tony touched Steve's back, and moved in for another kiss. "Attractive male movie stars and me? Watch it, now. I might just start getting a big ego."

[starspangledcap]

The words shouldn't have made such a big difference. Steve never should have doubted them to begin with. But with everything that had happened in the war, and all the arguments he and Tony had had since the return from Wanda's, not to mention Tony's insistence on ignoring the other world, Steve had begun to think that, whatever feelings of love Tony might have once had for him, they'd all vanished somewhere in the intervening years. But now there was honesty in Tony's eyes, and in Steve's smile - pure honesty flowing between them for possibly the first time ever, in this world.

He was still stuck in someone else's identity in some anonymous New Jersey suburb, still isolated from the world he knew and loved, but right at that moment, as he kissed Tony and felt all the force of that admitted love, Steve couldn't picture himself a happier man.

"Well, maybe you deserve to have a big ego," Steve said, softly and a little coyly, pulling his lips away and leaning his forehead against Tony's. "After all, handsome and glamorous as they may be, you're the only one I'm in love with."

His eyes had said as much seconds before, but Tony deserved to hear the words, too. Deserved to know that their marriage, in the other world, hadn't simply been the sole product of Tony's fevered dreaming. Deserved to know that the feelings were, and always had been, mutual.

"Now come on," Steve continued, pulling Tony's belt out of the loops and coiling it around his left hand. "I don't think we really want to do this in the bathroom. My room is this way." And he slipped his right hand into Tony's, squeezed gently, and led him into the next room.