you're my wonderwall...
Packing for Arizona fucken blows my nuts beyond any shadow of a doubt. Thing is it's just the packing that sucks. I can't wait till me and Rachel head up to Arizona this weekend. I'm at a loss for words at how "beside myself" I've been this entire week so far, all for a simple road trip. But then again, it's not just the anticipation of the trip with my best friend so much as it is just as much the destination and who I get to see and hug like crazy when I get there, haha :] A lot of shit has changed in the last year of my life, and in the world overall. People as they say will always be the most predictable and expected of the routine of changes, but it always seems to blow you out of the water just the same when it actually is happening and effecting your life. I'm not bitter about both past and not so distant past individuals as well as matters of other unspecified natures to have been items to have negatively "intervened" themselves my way. It's unavoidable, part of life, the way the cookie crumbles, yadda yadda.. I get it. I'm no one special to preach my ways of this that and the other, let alone impose them on those around me but you know what, sometimes people just need to be told how much of a fucking idiot they are, if they are being just so. This goes just as well for individuals whom voluntarily choose to be an asshole, skank, bitch, coward, etc. But, I digress. I'm not gonna hold grudges against these said individuals, for the reason that I refuse to let my big chance at genuine happiness be taken away from me all for the sake of people sticking their shit in other people's shit where it doesn't belong. For the first time, I find myself confident, and comfortable and secure with and alongside the feelings of another. It was never something that I really believed could ever happen for me, at least not for a long more while, and most definitely not this soon. People can choose to continue being pieces of fucking worthless shit about it and act like they're of course not in the wrong for it, but it still won't change the fact that they're still worthless pieces of shit with even shittier abilities in reasonable logics. For these said individuals all I have to say is this: what goes around comes around. I'm thankful throught the past several years I've been able to stand my ground and keep a clear enough head not to sink down to the levels of some of these people, despite how close I came to feeling "why not just do the same," end resulting actions. But like I said, I'm not better than the world or everyone around me; just these handful of sorry excuse for human beings.
Anyhow, I wasn't really intending to make this a cloudy sided entry on how many fucked up people there are around us, and this that and the other. But with what's been going on (up), for me in these past recent weeks and with what's at stake for me now, I'm no longer in grounds to just be all that light-hearted about it anymore. I cherish who I've been lucky enough to have come into my world at such a random point in my life, just as I cherish what doors he's been able to help show me how to open, as well as lead me to the ones that were open all along, but I just couldn't really see. I can't say the past year of personal life experiences has humbled me, because the way I see it it's not a single bit by bit or one-chance moment type of occurrence, but rather a lifetime lesson you learn as you go through the years. This is not to say that my experiences both bad and good, have not made some sort of impact on my life and the girl I'm forming to still be. The funny thing is though, people seem to always be the biggest impressions on my world, no matter what. Things are funny. People are funny. Life, is funny. Thankfully enough for me, fate was able to let the most witful and beautiful, loveable person I've known in my 21 years of existence, just so happen to walk my way and shed some light down my tunnel. And as much as I didn't think it possible a little bit ago, I just psyched myself up even more for this weekend adventure of mine with my best friend and the boy who somehow or another managed throwing my heart on a prison guard lock-down.
Wow ♥
Anyhow, I wasn't really intending to make this a cloudy sided entry on how many fucked up people there are around us, and this that and the other. But with what's been going on (up), for me in these past recent weeks and with what's at stake for me now, I'm no longer in grounds to just be all that light-hearted about it anymore. I cherish who I've been lucky enough to have come into my world at such a random point in my life, just as I cherish what doors he's been able to help show me how to open, as well as lead me to the ones that were open all along, but I just couldn't really see. I can't say the past year of personal life experiences has humbled me, because the way I see it it's not a single bit by bit or one-chance moment type of occurrence, but rather a lifetime lesson you learn as you go through the years. This is not to say that my experiences both bad and good, have not made some sort of impact on my life and the girl I'm forming to still be. The funny thing is though, people seem to always be the biggest impressions on my world, no matter what. Things are funny. People are funny. Life, is funny. Thankfully enough for me, fate was able to let the most witful and beautiful, loveable person I've known in my 21 years of existence, just so happen to walk my way and shed some light down my tunnel. And as much as I didn't think it possible a little bit ago, I just psyched myself up even more for this weekend adventure of mine with my best friend and the boy who somehow or another managed throwing my heart on a prison guard lock-down.
Wow ♥