Eurovision Song Contest 2011 Semifinal 2
And here's the second semifinal!
Bosnia & Herzegovina: Dino Merlin - Love In Rewind
Dino Merlin wrote the first ever entry for Bosnia & Herzegovina in 1993, called Sva bol svijeta, which was wonderful and absolutely heartbreaking. This is very different from 93. It features some of the most fake instrument playing I've ever seen! I especially enjoy the girl who plays the keyboard in the same style as Rowlf the dog from the Muppets, and the girl doing some weird kind of of back kicks as she's playing the tambourine. They're both lovely and pretty and look properly happy, though, so it's all good! The melody is dangerous. It's nothing special, but it's stuck in my head like bubblegum, and not even in an irritating way. And when Dino starts dancing, well, how can you possibly resist it? I know I can't! It's wonderful!
Austria: Nadine Beiler - The Secret Is Love
I love her haircut! I wish I could pull off a hairstyle like that. Sadly I can't, because my hair is evil. This is soooooo boring. Sure, there aren't many ballads this year, but I doubt it's even helped by that. It's a shame it comes so early, because it would have made an excellent bathroom break.
The Netherlands: 3JS - Never Alone
OMG! The entry from the Netherlands isn't awful! That's a hell of an improvement over the last two years. *shudders at the memories* This is fine. It's very competent. It sounds a bit like Michael Learns To Rock, whose Greatest Hits album I needed to have on to be able to fall asleep for about 6 months. So this does make me sleepy. But yeah, it's good, and he's a very good singer, and it's all fine. But not particularly fun.
Belgium: Witloof Bay - With Love Baby
See, I like a capella music. I find it fascinating. The number of albums I own by The Real Group and Viba Femba is staggering. But this! Jesus. I don't like beatboxing and there's so much of it in this! And the soprano's voice is annoying, and stands out way too much, and overall it's just rather horrible and I hate it, because it'll make people who already hate a capella music hate it even more!
Slovakia: TWiiNS - I'm Still Alive
The first pair of twins of the evening! There's a lot of flowing blond hair in slow motion in this video. There's also a forest apparently ravaged by a storm, football, flooding, hockey and a baby. Is it a brief history of Slovakia? And having been through all that, they're still alive? I mean, hockey is bad, but not so bad that get points for surviving, surely! I don't like this. Absolutely nothing happens in this song. It's the same thing for three minutes straight. Meh.
Ukraine: Mika Newton - Angel
Oooh, she's very pretty! And the video is gorgeous. I hope this'll work on stage, I think it will, Ukraine tends to be very professional when it comes to Eurovision. You should never underestimate Ukraine. I really like this. I'm not entirely sure why, but I do.
Moldova: Zdob si Zdub- So lucky
I miss the grandma! I'm sure this is perfectly decent, it's just not my thing at all. It just gives me a head ache.
Sweden: Eric Saade - Popular
If this wasn't Swedish, I wonder if I'd be more inclined to like it. Well, it is Swedish, and I don't like it. He's wearing one glove. I instantly want to throw up. *stares* This is Lili and Sussie's Oh Mama, sung by a Michael Jackson wannabe. And there are gigantic backing vocals which he won't be allowed to use in ESC! I have a feeling Eric's voice isn't up to this on its own. The choreography is awful, and the dancers look stupid. And the fucking cage and the breaking glass. Apparently it hasn't been going at all well at the rehearsals. *glee*
Cyprus: Christos Mylordos - San Aggelos S'Agapisa
If there ever was a name made for Eurovision, it has to be Christos Mylordos! Brilliant! And at last, some proper angst! He is very tortured indeed! Love it!
Bulgaria: Poli Genova - Na Inat
Girl rockers! Oh, I so want to like this! But the song is just nowhere near good enough. It's entirely forgettable. Doesn't stop me from enjoying the singer's haircut, though!
FYR Macedonia: Vlatko Ilievski - Rusinka
Dear FYR Macedonia, I have a suggestion. Before you go onstage, shove Vlatko into the bathroom, and put a chair under the handle so that he can't get out. Then do the whole number with just the music and the backing vocals. It'll be brilliant! Because it's a pretty good song, and Vlatko just utterly ruins it! Not just with his voice, but with his whole attitude. I have no idea who is is, I've never seen him before, but I want to punch him in the face. Lots of love, me!
Israel: Dana International - Ding Dong
Dana International is back! All your arguments are invalid! Not only is Israel bringing back a former winner of Eurovision, they're also bringing back a winning title! Okay, so the Dutch entry from 1975 was actually called Ding-A-Dong, but what's an A between friends? I'm fascinated by the choir girls! Their 70s evening gowns, and the way that they dance with one hand on their backs make them all look heavily pregnant. It's kind of awesome. The song is rather awful, even if there's a bit in the middle I really like, and I'm not sure if Dana's on key once during the whole thing, but who cares? I admire the hell out of her, and I hope she does brilliantly!
Slovenia: Maja Keuc - No One
I honestly didn't think dancers could get worse or more distracting than Carola's in 1991, but this manages to beat that! Did the choreographer get another piece of music? What the hell? I hate the way she sings, way too much of what I like to call American Idol wailing. Can't stand it. With a different singer and a different staging, this song might have worked. But now it absolutely doesn't.
Romania: Hotel FM - Change
This works on me. I'm completely charmed, and left with a huge grin on my face. Sure, it's simple, and a bit naive, and handclappy, but it makes me happy! And I'd much rather change the world with Hotel FM than with Paradise Oscar from Finland.
Estonia: Getter Jaani- Rockefeller street
This is one of those songs you only ever hear in Eurovision, and I love it! Love the melody box type music in the verse, love the catchy refrain, love the skyscrapers on stage. It's fun! She sounds very shaky though, so I have a feeling this might be a complete disaster on stage. I hope not, though! Because it makes me smile! And she's very charming.
Belarus: Anastasiya Vinnikova - I Love Belarus
All the love built up during the last two songs just falls like a stone. HATE! This seriously makes me angry. Do they honestly think this'll work, on any level? It won't build up any good will toward Belarus, and it certainly won't get people voting for them. If it wasn't in English, it might have worked in the voting department, because the melody is catchy as all hell. But no. Just no.
Latvia: Musiqq - Angel in Disguise
Angels are a trend this year. But then again, angels are a trend most years in Eurovision. Latvia is clearly very trendy, because they're also following the trend of having a rapper. Only, in this case the rapper doesn't ruin the song. There is nothing to ruin. Awful song, awful singer, awful rapper, awful choir, hideous last note.
Denmark: A friend in London - New Tomorrow
Apparently this has been accused of plagiarism of several songs. It's refrain is incredibly similar to Andreas Johnson's Sing For Me. I love Sing For Me, and I lovelovelove this! Love the marching drums in the verse, love the singer, love his hair, the lyrics are naive, but so what? It's great!
Ireland: Jedward - Lipstick
I saw Jedward on a panel show during Comic Relief's 24-hour panel people, and there was instant hate! They were so fucking obnoxious and I could not stand them! The song is horrible, but in a dangerously catchy sort of way, and I'm convinced it'll get a lot of votes. Out of sheer spite I hope they'll sound like shite, though.
Bosnia & Herzegovina: Dino Merlin - Love In Rewind
Dino Merlin wrote the first ever entry for Bosnia & Herzegovina in 1993, called Sva bol svijeta, which was wonderful and absolutely heartbreaking. This is very different from 93. It features some of the most fake instrument playing I've ever seen! I especially enjoy the girl who plays the keyboard in the same style as Rowlf the dog from the Muppets, and the girl doing some weird kind of of back kicks as she's playing the tambourine. They're both lovely and pretty and look properly happy, though, so it's all good! The melody is dangerous. It's nothing special, but it's stuck in my head like bubblegum, and not even in an irritating way. And when Dino starts dancing, well, how can you possibly resist it? I know I can't! It's wonderful!
Austria: Nadine Beiler - The Secret Is Love
I love her haircut! I wish I could pull off a hairstyle like that. Sadly I can't, because my hair is evil. This is soooooo boring. Sure, there aren't many ballads this year, but I doubt it's even helped by that. It's a shame it comes so early, because it would have made an excellent bathroom break.
The Netherlands: 3JS - Never Alone
OMG! The entry from the Netherlands isn't awful! That's a hell of an improvement over the last two years. *shudders at the memories* This is fine. It's very competent. It sounds a bit like Michael Learns To Rock, whose Greatest Hits album I needed to have on to be able to fall asleep for about 6 months. So this does make me sleepy. But yeah, it's good, and he's a very good singer, and it's all fine. But not particularly fun.
Belgium: Witloof Bay - With Love Baby
See, I like a capella music. I find it fascinating. The number of albums I own by The Real Group and Viba Femba is staggering. But this! Jesus. I don't like beatboxing and there's so much of it in this! And the soprano's voice is annoying, and stands out way too much, and overall it's just rather horrible and I hate it, because it'll make people who already hate a capella music hate it even more!
Slovakia: TWiiNS - I'm Still Alive
The first pair of twins of the evening! There's a lot of flowing blond hair in slow motion in this video. There's also a forest apparently ravaged by a storm, football, flooding, hockey and a baby. Is it a brief history of Slovakia? And having been through all that, they're still alive? I mean, hockey is bad, but not so bad that get points for surviving, surely! I don't like this. Absolutely nothing happens in this song. It's the same thing for three minutes straight. Meh.
Ukraine: Mika Newton - Angel
Oooh, she's very pretty! And the video is gorgeous. I hope this'll work on stage, I think it will, Ukraine tends to be very professional when it comes to Eurovision. You should never underestimate Ukraine. I really like this. I'm not entirely sure why, but I do.
Moldova: Zdob si Zdub- So lucky
I miss the grandma! I'm sure this is perfectly decent, it's just not my thing at all. It just gives me a head ache.
Sweden: Eric Saade - Popular
If this wasn't Swedish, I wonder if I'd be more inclined to like it. Well, it is Swedish, and I don't like it. He's wearing one glove. I instantly want to throw up. *stares* This is Lili and Sussie's Oh Mama, sung by a Michael Jackson wannabe. And there are gigantic backing vocals which he won't be allowed to use in ESC! I have a feeling Eric's voice isn't up to this on its own. The choreography is awful, and the dancers look stupid. And the fucking cage and the breaking glass. Apparently it hasn't been going at all well at the rehearsals. *glee*
Cyprus: Christos Mylordos - San Aggelos S'Agapisa
If there ever was a name made for Eurovision, it has to be Christos Mylordos! Brilliant! And at last, some proper angst! He is very tortured indeed! Love it!
Bulgaria: Poli Genova - Na Inat
Girl rockers! Oh, I so want to like this! But the song is just nowhere near good enough. It's entirely forgettable. Doesn't stop me from enjoying the singer's haircut, though!
FYR Macedonia: Vlatko Ilievski - Rusinka
Dear FYR Macedonia, I have a suggestion. Before you go onstage, shove Vlatko into the bathroom, and put a chair under the handle so that he can't get out. Then do the whole number with just the music and the backing vocals. It'll be brilliant! Because it's a pretty good song, and Vlatko just utterly ruins it! Not just with his voice, but with his whole attitude. I have no idea who is is, I've never seen him before, but I want to punch him in the face. Lots of love, me!
Israel: Dana International - Ding Dong
Dana International is back! All your arguments are invalid! Not only is Israel bringing back a former winner of Eurovision, they're also bringing back a winning title! Okay, so the Dutch entry from 1975 was actually called Ding-A-Dong, but what's an A between friends? I'm fascinated by the choir girls! Their 70s evening gowns, and the way that they dance with one hand on their backs make them all look heavily pregnant. It's kind of awesome. The song is rather awful, even if there's a bit in the middle I really like, and I'm not sure if Dana's on key once during the whole thing, but who cares? I admire the hell out of her, and I hope she does brilliantly!
Slovenia: Maja Keuc - No One
I honestly didn't think dancers could get worse or more distracting than Carola's in 1991, but this manages to beat that! Did the choreographer get another piece of music? What the hell? I hate the way she sings, way too much of what I like to call American Idol wailing. Can't stand it. With a different singer and a different staging, this song might have worked. But now it absolutely doesn't.
Romania: Hotel FM - Change
This works on me. I'm completely charmed, and left with a huge grin on my face. Sure, it's simple, and a bit naive, and handclappy, but it makes me happy! And I'd much rather change the world with Hotel FM than with Paradise Oscar from Finland.
Estonia: Getter Jaani- Rockefeller street
This is one of those songs you only ever hear in Eurovision, and I love it! Love the melody box type music in the verse, love the catchy refrain, love the skyscrapers on stage. It's fun! She sounds very shaky though, so I have a feeling this might be a complete disaster on stage. I hope not, though! Because it makes me smile! And she's very charming.
Belarus: Anastasiya Vinnikova - I Love Belarus
All the love built up during the last two songs just falls like a stone. HATE! This seriously makes me angry. Do they honestly think this'll work, on any level? It won't build up any good will toward Belarus, and it certainly won't get people voting for them. If it wasn't in English, it might have worked in the voting department, because the melody is catchy as all hell. But no. Just no.
Latvia: Musiqq - Angel in Disguise
Angels are a trend this year. But then again, angels are a trend most years in Eurovision. Latvia is clearly very trendy, because they're also following the trend of having a rapper. Only, in this case the rapper doesn't ruin the song. There is nothing to ruin. Awful song, awful singer, awful rapper, awful choir, hideous last note.
Denmark: A friend in London - New Tomorrow
Apparently this has been accused of plagiarism of several songs. It's refrain is incredibly similar to Andreas Johnson's Sing For Me. I love Sing For Me, and I lovelovelove this! Love the marching drums in the verse, love the singer, love his hair, the lyrics are naive, but so what? It's great!
Ireland: Jedward - Lipstick
I saw Jedward on a panel show during Comic Relief's 24-hour panel people, and there was instant hate! They were so fucking obnoxious and I could not stand them! The song is horrible, but in a dangerously catchy sort of way, and I'm convinced it'll get a lot of votes. Out of sheer spite I hope they'll sound like shite, though.