Feb 18, 2006 01:49
I went to watch the Monologues tonight with some AXO girls in a large lecture hall on campus. It was a moving, comical, eyebrow-raising show and it made me proud to be at such a place where really sensitive subjects could be so casually talked about. But my mind started to drift during the second half, and suddenly, I fast-forwarded myself to the 2007 Graduation / Commencement. I imagined myself sitting in the audience in Killian Court, waiting for my friends' names to be called over the loudspeaker. I imagined myself waiting patiently for hours in the same lawn seat with a mediocre view. I imagined seeing my friends shake the President's hand, receive their diplomas, and walk down the aisle one after another. My very best friend was last, and as I watched him walk down the aisle, I imagined how I would feel when I would have to walk to class alone next year and he wouldn't be there with me.
And then I stopped imagining. I began to feel it. In real time.
It was the strangest thing to be sitting in that crowded classroom, watching a moving Monologue, but to be moved by something entirely different. I'd experienced a dream so vivid, but unfortunately a dream I'll never forget.
Time is passing too quickly. There is too much to do, too many eclectic, idiosyncratic people to know. Too many conversations I have to have and too many friendships I have to make. Too many things I need to be involved in, too many leadership positions I need to eventually fill.
Do you ever get that feeling? Like there are so many opportunities you'll never have, because you just sat there? And there are so many friends to whom you forget to say, "I love you" every day?
It's funny to think that my older friends will soon be gone, and that my time at this place is nearly halfway over. It's funny that they'll be carrying on with their lives, and I'll be carrying on with my life, and that we won't be together anymore. It's funny that I can't be everywhere at once.
Well, there is no time to regret. So here's to spending the next two and a half years learning from the people around me, and letting them go when it's their time to pick up their lives right where they left them before they met me.