bitchfest 2008, live

[iristhespider]

i am way to good at sitting for hours and hours at a time doing absolutly nothing. this is bad because it is not one bit satisfying. i have become a person full of frustration. i feel like i am busy all the time but it is the kind of busy where i still feel alone. i'm around people but i don't really know any of them. it's not like i'm using myself

Comments

[spicyovenmitt]

Jamie. i love you. i love your heartbreaking words. i love that we are going through our own little versions of personal growth slash hell. i love that you let yourself be this vulnerable online. there are just SO many things to LOVE! tonight i seriously almost off-ed myself due to the stress of life. WHY is it so trying? it should and could be so easy. maybe there is a key and we just have to find the right lock to fit it in? who knows.

My sister said some really great things to me tonight. She said that everything is the same as when i went to school, and even before that when i was living at home. these issues always existed, and they may continue to exist. I guess it is all about ... well, if i knew what it was all about i would be a millionaire/popular/in a relationship/ happy - Maybe they are just more pronounced because we dont have stable things in our lives like school or family to conceal them. Maybe that makes this a special time, a time when we can see our foibles more clearly and we can make steps toward being the people we know we can be.

so i guess the take away here is that i LOVE you in spite of all the hangups and also because of the hangups, cause they make you you. call me and we'll eat pizza together- even though i gave up cheese- and drink some pop- even though i gave up sugar-

[iristhespider]

i love you too butterball. wish you were at the show tonight. i'd love to do the pizza thing. maybe you could quit the no cheese/sugar thing for a few hours....you seem to have been into that kinda thing in the past.

[spicyovenmitt]

I am so more than a no cheese no sugar guy. tonight i realized that~! i ate nachos and nearly died in the process. i danced my ass off at friend's dance party in stead, cause it was closer. i miss you jamie jam. what are you doing today ? tonight? when are you free... .cause i am free a lot.

[iristhespider]

i work 3-9 today. i don't know when i'm free. i will get back to you on this one.