PIDGD or STFUIDC?
As for the unknown acronyms, they are "Post I Don't Give a Damn" and "Shut The Fuck Up I Don't Care" respectively. Either works for me right now. I'm so angry I can't really begin to fathom why I'm even at this level of anger. Normal stupid things that normally wouldn't irk me in the slightest have me hitting levels of annoyance to the point where I'm pretty upset. I get that I'm not the only one who works a lot. I get that I can be pretty emotional. I get that the world doesn't revolve around me. I get that I'm not the only one who is tired.
What bothers me is that people don't seem to understand that I just don't care anymore. I'm tired of being nice. I'm tired of acting like nothing is wrong or is really bothering me when it clearly is. I'm tired of getting into small fights with my mother and butting heads with a sister who treats me like I'm a jerk. I tolarate stupid bratty behavior at work because I have to and if I want to keep my job, then I better damn well suck it up and act as if the person isn't being a total dick. At home, however, all bets are off. If you're pissing me off, I'm not going to sit back and take it. I'm not going to pretend that your "higher than thou" attitude does not bother me and I sure as hell will not stand for it anymore. I've been told by my father a couple times that I'm too nice and that I let my younger siblings take advantage of that. No more. Of course, this new concept of me standing up for myself and basically not giving a damn seems to blowing up in my face. Now I'm even more of a jerk and apparently I don't like to talk about things anymore because I "hate hearing the truth". Bunch of bull right there. I don't care how blunt you are, I really can handle the truth despite what the majority may believe. I just can't stand hearing people insinuate that I'm being that bad guy, that my feelings aren't legit, or that every damn little thing I've done is wrong and that I'm being dramatic. I guess what bothers me the most is that I'm being told how I should feel and that I should be nice when in all reality all I want to do is tune out the world and punch the wall. I don't like crying. After a particularly nasty break-up I just don't like to cry anymore because in all honesty it got me no where. I feel like all I ever do anymore is fucking cry (even if only for a few minutes) because thats the only way I can get rid of all this pent-up emotion that is running through me!
I feel like I've been pushed aside. I feel like no matter what I say, I'm the one who's wrong. I feel like I don't matter anymore. I feel like the dusty toy underneath the bed that has seen better days and is totally and utterly forgotten about. My birthday was way back in February. Aside from my parents being absolutely wonderful to me, did my own siblings do so? Two text messages. No calls. No cards. I hate texting. It's so impersonal. What really bothers me is not the fact that I didn't get anything from them, but the fact that they promised me that we would hang out. Its fucking September. I have yet to see this happen.
I work every day. Sometimes two jobs where I'm gone from 8:30am til roughly 10:30pm. I haven't had a decent break since Labor Day weekend, and that doesn't even count because I STILL had to work on Labor Day. I'm complaining, I know, but damn it I'm sick of trying to talk to people about it and being brushed aside! I annoy my boyfriend because its all I ever talk about anymore because he's the only one who really tries to listen!
Fuck it all....I'm calling it a night.....I really just don't give a rat's ass anymore....
What bothers me is that people don't seem to understand that I just don't care anymore. I'm tired of being nice. I'm tired of acting like nothing is wrong or is really bothering me when it clearly is. I'm tired of getting into small fights with my mother and butting heads with a sister who treats me like I'm a jerk. I tolarate stupid bratty behavior at work because I have to and if I want to keep my job, then I better damn well suck it up and act as if the person isn't being a total dick. At home, however, all bets are off. If you're pissing me off, I'm not going to sit back and take it. I'm not going to pretend that your "higher than thou" attitude does not bother me and I sure as hell will not stand for it anymore. I've been told by my father a couple times that I'm too nice and that I let my younger siblings take advantage of that. No more. Of course, this new concept of me standing up for myself and basically not giving a damn seems to blowing up in my face. Now I'm even more of a jerk and apparently I don't like to talk about things anymore because I "hate hearing the truth". Bunch of bull right there. I don't care how blunt you are, I really can handle the truth despite what the majority may believe. I just can't stand hearing people insinuate that I'm being that bad guy, that my feelings aren't legit, or that every damn little thing I've done is wrong and that I'm being dramatic. I guess what bothers me the most is that I'm being told how I should feel and that I should be nice when in all reality all I want to do is tune out the world and punch the wall. I don't like crying. After a particularly nasty break-up I just don't like to cry anymore because in all honesty it got me no where. I feel like all I ever do anymore is fucking cry (even if only for a few minutes) because thats the only way I can get rid of all this pent-up emotion that is running through me!
I feel like I've been pushed aside. I feel like no matter what I say, I'm the one who's wrong. I feel like I don't matter anymore. I feel like the dusty toy underneath the bed that has seen better days and is totally and utterly forgotten about. My birthday was way back in February. Aside from my parents being absolutely wonderful to me, did my own siblings do so? Two text messages. No calls. No cards. I hate texting. It's so impersonal. What really bothers me is not the fact that I didn't get anything from them, but the fact that they promised me that we would hang out. Its fucking September. I have yet to see this happen.
I work every day. Sometimes two jobs where I'm gone from 8:30am til roughly 10:30pm. I haven't had a decent break since Labor Day weekend, and that doesn't even count because I STILL had to work on Labor Day. I'm complaining, I know, but damn it I'm sick of trying to talk to people about it and being brushed aside! I annoy my boyfriend because its all I ever talk about anymore because he's the only one who really tries to listen!
Fuck it all....I'm calling it a night.....I really just don't give a rat's ass anymore....