well
Hmmm, ok last night was possibly the worst judgment i've used in a vary long time. I don't plan on describing the reasons, if u know what they are, then your craig or chris and i'd like to keep it that way. Anyways, this has been the most insane weekend i can remember (or cant for that matter). Decided to go on a binge, try to calm myself down. To much high school drama around, god i hate prom. Hmm, i'm starting to sound like an anti-social goth, god help me, if i start wearing black eye liner around my lips and start worshiping satan, your all free to kill me. Anyways, i've managed to hurt two of my friends in the past week, i think thats a new record. I don't understand why it is someplace written that i cant have a functional relationship without A) Hurting a good friend. or B) Getting my heart ripped out and stepped on. I don't know why its too much to ask to have someone that cares about me and that i can care about. Meh, i dunno, maybe i want it too much and i'm just wishing for things that are beyond my grasp. I just see so many people happy with another person and i cant help asking myself, why not me?
So on a much lighter note I honestly think my computer is about to blow up, i have so many damn songs that i've written on here that microsoft word has just flat out refused to open any more. i need other outlets then typing my problems on a web page that completely random people read and think that i'm a psycho. *shrug* Its kinda odd because almost every song is different and i'm pretty sure none of them will ever see the light of day, i have everything from hardcore to emo. Emo is so much more fun to wright, i actually get to bitch about my problems and not sound too pathetic, and plus, i don't have a girlfriend to sing about breaking up with me so that sets me aside from most of the others!
So yeah this drug thing was a shit load harder then i ever could have imagined to beat, i still find myself itching to call for a quick downer, but then again, Downer + Bi Polarism = endless nights, wishing to god that i could be someone else, someone that was at least happy. Drugs have already cost me my best friend, i know now that even though we still hang out, things will never be the same between me and him, and it kills me.
well i've wasted enough of your time, if your still reading this, i'm sorry. :)
So on a much lighter note I honestly think my computer is about to blow up, i have so many damn songs that i've written on here that microsoft word has just flat out refused to open any more. i need other outlets then typing my problems on a web page that completely random people read and think that i'm a psycho. *shrug* Its kinda odd because almost every song is different and i'm pretty sure none of them will ever see the light of day, i have everything from hardcore to emo. Emo is so much more fun to wright, i actually get to bitch about my problems and not sound too pathetic, and plus, i don't have a girlfriend to sing about breaking up with me so that sets me aside from most of the others!
So yeah this drug thing was a shit load harder then i ever could have imagined to beat, i still find myself itching to call for a quick downer, but then again, Downer + Bi Polarism = endless nights, wishing to god that i could be someone else, someone that was at least happy. Drugs have already cost me my best friend, i know now that even though we still hang out, things will never be the same between me and him, and it kills me.
well i've wasted enough of your time, if your still reading this, i'm sorry. :)