The light at the end of the tunnel
I see it!
I'm so excited for the semester to be over and for me to go to my new home. Although much of my life has been altered for the good in Boca, not much has changed in this little old town of Gainesville. The only thing that has seemingly changed here is me. Which is really the only solution to how I've been feeling lately. I really underestimated my decision moving to Gainesville. It was extremely ballsy of me to move to a foreign area with no close friends or family in proximity. I was in a catch 22. I was really sad being alone so I wanted to socialize and be close with people but my depression prevented me from doing so. I decided to change the one thing I could in this vicious cycle, myself.
...I sound so cheezy right now. lol.
But anyways, I'm letting go of grudges. It's not worth it anymore. I don't want my past to hold me back from enjoying the present and future. Gosh, when you're happy, it's so much easier meeting people. Smiling at the nervous Starbucks guy made me feel better. I forgot how good a genuine grin felt.
I do have an obscene amount of work due tomorrow. A final and a 7-8 page paper. For the first time this semester, I'm not having a break down. How did I get to this point? Eh, I'm just glad to be here.
It seems to be hard to find people to connect with, even on a friend level, but hopefully that will change when I put myself out there more. I was thinking about my previous relationships and I feel like there were always signs that it was not going to work out. I get so blinded when I like someone. I'm hoping that because I do see the reasons why each relationship did not work out, the next one won't be as brutal. I need to be more objective when it comes to my boyfriends. Whenever I'm too emotionally involved, I seem to make stupid decisions.
I want a cuddle partner so bad. I think I'll sleep better at night.
I read about a study that tested women and their level of attraction to men. Apparently, when women are ovulating they are attracted to men they may not normally be attracted to, such as a biker or a rebellious man with tattoos. Lol. I definitely feel this wave of...attraction. Maybe it's because I've been really lonely, or maybe because my eggs dropped, but mama wants. There's this really hot tall guy with a lip ring that works at Starbucks. I saw him yesterday and today. Eek. Little crushes like this are so much fun. Although I'm going on and on about wanting a male companion I can fondle, I know I need to focus on myself and work out my crazies. But until then, it's fun to daydream about it.
I'm so excited for the semester to be over and for me to go to my new home. Although much of my life has been altered for the good in Boca, not much has changed in this little old town of Gainesville. The only thing that has seemingly changed here is me. Which is really the only solution to how I've been feeling lately. I really underestimated my decision moving to Gainesville. It was extremely ballsy of me to move to a foreign area with no close friends or family in proximity. I was in a catch 22. I was really sad being alone so I wanted to socialize and be close with people but my depression prevented me from doing so. I decided to change the one thing I could in this vicious cycle, myself.
...I sound so cheezy right now. lol.
But anyways, I'm letting go of grudges. It's not worth it anymore. I don't want my past to hold me back from enjoying the present and future. Gosh, when you're happy, it's so much easier meeting people. Smiling at the nervous Starbucks guy made me feel better. I forgot how good a genuine grin felt.
I do have an obscene amount of work due tomorrow. A final and a 7-8 page paper. For the first time this semester, I'm not having a break down. How did I get to this point? Eh, I'm just glad to be here.
It seems to be hard to find people to connect with, even on a friend level, but hopefully that will change when I put myself out there more. I was thinking about my previous relationships and I feel like there were always signs that it was not going to work out. I get so blinded when I like someone. I'm hoping that because I do see the reasons why each relationship did not work out, the next one won't be as brutal. I need to be more objective when it comes to my boyfriends. Whenever I'm too emotionally involved, I seem to make stupid decisions.
I want a cuddle partner so bad. I think I'll sleep better at night.
I read about a study that tested women and their level of attraction to men. Apparently, when women are ovulating they are attracted to men they may not normally be attracted to, such as a biker or a rebellious man with tattoos. Lol. I definitely feel this wave of...attraction. Maybe it's because I've been really lonely, or maybe because my eggs dropped, but mama wants. There's this really hot tall guy with a lip ring that works at Starbucks. I saw him yesterday and today. Eek. Little crushes like this are so much fun. Although I'm going on and on about wanting a male companion I can fondle, I know I need to focus on myself and work out my crazies. But until then, it's fun to daydream about it.