(no subject)
Amanda i love u soooooo much, u meant the world to me and u kno it. Im srry for the mean temper i get when im mad but u c how the rest of my family is right??????? It runs in my blood. I never want anything to happen to us ever!!!!!!!!!! And u kno that as well. But lately i have been extremely ticked off at one of ur "friends" cough kristi cough because all she does is put me down. You say to me ohhhhh she pisses me off and all this shit then u r buddy buddy with her when u r with her????? I am so confused!!!!! :( How do u really feel inside????? i dont kno because i feel that u never tell me the truth. Im not saying that u r lying to me but u never give me the whole story and that really gets to me. I have true friends that really apologize for there mistake and i dont c why u would have to apologize for hanging out with me???? Am i a mistake to u????????? They r the ones that dont have their priorities in order. And all this shit about football. Ohhhhh im quiting today when i c the coach or w/e. did u quit no. y?????? because u stick stick up for urself. If it one thing that i have tried to show u it is to stick up for urself!!!!!! so if u keep failing math or w/e subjects u r faling and ur parents get mad at u i wont care anymore!!!!!!!!!! I wont be there to tell u its ok cause it wont be ok. JUST FUCKING QUIT DAMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!! just do it for christ sake. I love u sooooooo much but u expect me to feel bad you when u r bringing it on urself. I cannot see myself without you ever!!!!!!!!!!!!! I couldnt count the times that u mde plans with me and then promised me then broke them and u didnt see anything wong with it. Wat is up with that????????? i just dont understand anything anymore and it is really bugging me with everything that has happened within the last year of my life and i kno that things r just going to get worse. i kno that things will get worse my grandfather is sick and he wont admit it. he is so much worse then last time we went down there. I ONT KNOW WAT I WILL DO IF I LOS HIM OR MY GRANDMOTHER!!!!! my life will end and i mean that literally not figuratively. well i have to go im going off roading with andrew. YES some fun in my life.. i love u sooooooooo much babe u r my world i cant lose u not now not ever