(no subject)
I did it. I talked to her.
I'm afraid that it was just as hard as I thought it would be. I had rather hoped that once I started speaking it would get easier, but it didn't. I did say all of the important things though. Nicole looked at me with an expression of bored annoyance while I talked, so I don't know if this did any good, but at least now I know that I have done absolutely everything that I can. And if our friendship ends, its not my fault.
I didn't tell her the thing about how I felt like I was on pins and needles when I was around her, and how I thought she was reading malicious motives into everything I did. I just couldn't get up the courage to make it come out. But, I made it clear that I was not angry with her, not upset with her, and I wanted to make sure that our friendship didn't end. So, if she knows that than she shouldn't be constantly reading into everything I do. And if she does, its her problem.
She left right after I finished talking to go to Som's, and I was so rattled that it was ridiculous. Seriously, I was shaking. And I was going up to Josi's and it took me 5 minutes to find my keys, and they were sitting right in front of me on the desk.
So, I went up to Josi and Matt's and talked, had half a beer, and played some DDR which helped a lot. I stopped shaking! Friends = awesomeness.
At least now I know that I have done all that I can do and its on her. Which is a relief.
I'm afraid that it was just as hard as I thought it would be. I had rather hoped that once I started speaking it would get easier, but it didn't. I did say all of the important things though. Nicole looked at me with an expression of bored annoyance while I talked, so I don't know if this did any good, but at least now I know that I have done absolutely everything that I can. And if our friendship ends, its not my fault.
I didn't tell her the thing about how I felt like I was on pins and needles when I was around her, and how I thought she was reading malicious motives into everything I did. I just couldn't get up the courage to make it come out. But, I made it clear that I was not angry with her, not upset with her, and I wanted to make sure that our friendship didn't end. So, if she knows that than she shouldn't be constantly reading into everything I do. And if she does, its her problem.
She left right after I finished talking to go to Som's, and I was so rattled that it was ridiculous. Seriously, I was shaking. And I was going up to Josi's and it took me 5 minutes to find my keys, and they were sitting right in front of me on the desk.
So, I went up to Josi and Matt's and talked, had half a beer, and played some DDR which helped a lot. I stopped shaking! Friends = awesomeness.
At least now I know that I have done all that I can do and its on her. Which is a relief.