9 out of 10 doctors don't recommend suicide but that 10th one...
Behind the cut is a major rant...if you ain't in the mood to read, it's all good.
So in an attempt to save money, my company decided to go with the bottom of the barrell HMO. What the company failed to tell the employees is that most of the doctors that we used to have are no longer part of this HMO plan. So "new" doctors were assigned. Forget for a moment how wrong just that in itself is and let's proceed to what happened yesterday.
So I take a specialized medication for anxiet that a lot of doctors do not like prescribing. However, I have been on the same dosage know for nearly 3 years. No abuse, never an increase, no problems. My prescription needed to be renewed so I had to make an appointment with the new doctor. When I called the office, I specifically asked how well the doctor kept his appointments. I was informed that he kept things on schedule - now I get things get wacky so I provided an hour window. At an hour and a half of waiting, the doctor finally came in. Never introduced himself, just went into asking some preliminary questions. After it was established that all was fine, he asked why I was there. So I explained that I have PTSD and as a result, anxiety and I needed the refill. His first response was to say "Oh, that drug is no good!" I explained my dosage and how is was helpful. He pulls out the scrip and says, "So if I give you a month's worth, you promise you won't OD?" um..what? Yes yes of course, I have no intentions of OD'ing. I was hoping that would be the end of the appointment but no, we must discuss my weight. He asks me what I'm doing with it and I explained that I've eliminated caffeine, sugar, I'm working out 3xs a week within my target heart rate. So he asks how much weight I've lost and since I dont' know exact numbers I say somewhere between 10-15lbs. His prompt response was "Oh well thats not enough!" Never did he ask me how long I've been doing this new regime and really, way to encourage someone to continue what they are doing. He then says "Well they now have this ring thing for weight loss" Me: "Are you referring to the gastric band? Dr: Yes - I tell him i'm not interested. He then offers to write me a prescription that will decrease my appetitie. Um...no, thank you. He then tells me that going to the gym is good, but for real weight loss I need to eat less. *sighs* He never asked me what my eating habit are. I informed him I don't over eat. He then looked puzzled and said, well maybe your thyroid needs to be looked at. Me: Yes, that's why I'm working with my wholistic chiropractor on that issue, however, if you have specific blood work that would help determine what is going on, I'm open to doing that. Dr: Well, when you're ready to address you tell me. Once again, what? Didn't I just indicate I was willing? So we begin to wrap up and as he is walking towards the door, he stops and looks at me and says, " I really hope you don't kill yourself, but if you do, please hang yourself instead of OD".
I'll pause here in the story to let that last line register with y'all.
Yes, he really recommended hanging over over dosing. To someone with PTSD and anxiety. No he wasn't joking.
I got my scrip and got the hell out of there.
I've spent the morning reporting him to my HR, the insurance company and have the forms ready for the Medical Board of California.