Confessions of a Sam!Girl
It all began in 2005. I've been a fan of the genre for years. And I adored Jared when he was on Gilmore Girls. So, when I learned that he was going to be on this show called Supernatural about well, supernatural things, I had to give it a shot. I watched it mostly for Jared, never having even heard about Jensen Ackles at that point. When I saw the pilot, I fell in love with the story, the brothers, and Dean. Yes, this SamGirl was initially a total DeanGirl. Well, maybe not completely...
From the beginning, I identified more with Sam. Not sure if it was the geeky part. Or the smarty pants part. Or the 'I chose my own path in life' part. Whatever it was, I related more to him. A lot more. But Dean...well...how could you not fall in love with Dean in the pilot? I mean,come on...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LUMvrlFiG4s
Besides, on a totally shallow level, have you guys seen Jensen? Uhm...yeah.
As much as I adored Jared, he was very cute back in season 1, but as far as looks go, I was all about Dean. Sammy really was the little brother, the adorable, emo little brother with a broken heart and one goal in life - kill the thing that killed his girlfriend. Sam was angry, obsessed, but also sensitive to other people. Dean was larger than life. And hot. Did I mention hot? :) I am ashamed to admit that I did not pay that much attention to Sammy's looks. That was of course until this happened....
I still remember my reaction when I saw....that. After I managed to pick up my jaw off the floor, I exclaimed loudly 'THAT was under all those clothes?" Forget what John whispered to Dean in In My Time of Dying. Jared's muscles were the best kept secret of the entire series.
Now...and this pains me to admit it, but after I did recover from seeing those bulging muscles and cursing that blasted towel, I went back to my Dean love. Though I could never deny that Sammy's smile is absolutely gorgeous. When he smiles, you cannot NOT smile.
But he was still that little brother who I felt extremely protective of (I never could understand why fandom hated him that much in season 1, but that's a whole other story).
And even as season 2 started and Sam was growing up in front of us, taking charge when Dean was grieving, being Sam and getting angry and wanting revenge just like he did after Jessica's death, I proudly considered myself bi-bro. I told myself and everybody else that I loved both brothers equally. Though I mostly drooled over Dean. What can I say?
And then one day they aired Hunted. Yes, I know, most of fandom did not like this episode. I'll admit that I did. But that's not the point...This scene changed it all for me... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOu4Ikzu3m4
Somewhere between Ava's freaking out and Sammy not even batting an eye about his impending death by being blown into pieces, I realized that I could not take my eyes away from him.
And then there was the fight scene with Gordon (I was only able to find this one - the Sam vs Gordon scene starts at 2:15 minute mark http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8WW2NRa0zM ) and the growly 'Put it down now'
and from that point on, I spent most of the time watching the show and trying to figure out which brother was hotter, lol. What? I totally watch for the plot. lol. :)
But I was still absolutely 100% bi-bro. Why should I choose when I could have both, right? (well, neither really but you get the point). But Sam and Dean were still Sam and Dean, even though they had a lot more to deal with now and were a bit more battered and bruised. Dean was still the overprotective older brother and Sam was still refusing to give up, still out for revenge, trying to find YED and help as many people as possible on the way. Until.... THIS
Finally that episode proved to the entire world what the rest of us already knew - Jared is one incredibly talented actor.
It also proved something else to me - I was slowly turning into a SamGirl. I fought it. I still loved Dean with all my heart. Both boys kept breaking my heart into million pieces in one episode and kicking major ass in another.
And then the bulging muscles struck again and I just could not resist...
I honestly did not even notice Dean until the very last scene in the episode. I was too blinded by...
And then both Sam and Dean once again shattered my heart into bizilliion pieces. But when I put those pieces back together there was one thing for certain - I was now a proud Sam!Girl. Even though I denied it. I denied it through the rest of season 2. I even tried to deny it as season 3 began, but it was a difficult task at that point. Dean was being a...what's the world I'm looking for here...uhm.....difficult? And Sammy was desperate to find some way to get Dean out of his deal while also dealing with the fact that not only did he die, he also had demon blood in him and apparently he was the anti-Christ? And oh, yeah, his brother was going to die in a year and go to hell. So, as season 3 progressed, I stopped fighting it. And I proudly announced to all the world that I was a Sam!Girl!!!
Yes, Sam has changed dramatically over the last 4 years. The innocence we saw in the pilot is long gone. The things he'd seen, the things he'd been through, losing Dean the way he did - he's changed and the old Sam is never coming back. But he's still, a 100% our Sam. Even with demon blood (we will not mention how he uhm gets that) and making choices that some might consider evil and going darkside and all that... he is absolutely still Sam.
He loves his brother more than anything else in the world. Everything he's doing is for Dean and because of Dean. He's trying to protect Dean, trying to take the burden of saving the world off his brother's shoulders. He knows what he's doing is wrong. He knows that he's sacrificing himself in order to stop Lilith. But it's worth it to him. Because it means that there's a chance that he could save Dean's life. He IS a Winchester after all and he's doing exactly what Winchesters do best - sacrifice himself for another Winchester.
I've also mentioned it to a few of you, there are a lot of things I'm not very happy with Kripke about that are happening this season. One thing I will absolutely give him credit for is the fact that Sam had stayed consistent. Like I said, Sam of season 4 is absolutely still SAM. I see it in everything he does. Just like Sam in Wendigo who was angry and wanted nothing but revenge, Sam of season 4 is exactly the same. He's angry with Lilith (who could blame him, really). And revenge's been the only force driving him during those 4 months that Dean was in hell. It probably was the only thing that kept him alive and stopped him from standing on the corner and begging anybody to put him out of his misery back then. Many have commented on it, but Sam is absolutely just like John, only more bad ass. Though I really do hope that in the end Sam doesn't end up like John.
In conclusion, why I am a Sam!Girl? Because Sam is scary smart. He's sharp. He'll kick your ass, with or without psychic powers. He comes up with plans to get them out of sticky situations. He's a total geek who can recite Latin without needing to look at the book once. He's knows facts and lore and loves research. He thinks before he acts. He's not scared of anything (except losing Dean). He stays absolutely cool when faced with unexpected (like Lilith's sexual advances). He's so totally bad ass. He'll do anything and everything for his brother.
Oh, and did I mention he's totally hot? :p
From the beginning, I identified more with Sam. Not sure if it was the geeky part. Or the smarty pants part. Or the 'I chose my own path in life' part. Whatever it was, I related more to him. A lot more. But Dean...well...how could you not fall in love with Dean in the pilot? I mean,come on...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LUMvrlFiG4s
Besides, on a totally shallow level, have you guys seen Jensen? Uhm...yeah.
As much as I adored Jared, he was very cute back in season 1, but as far as looks go, I was all about Dean. Sammy really was the little brother, the adorable, emo little brother with a broken heart and one goal in life - kill the thing that killed his girlfriend. Sam was angry, obsessed, but also sensitive to other people. Dean was larger than life. And hot. Did I mention hot? :) I am ashamed to admit that I did not pay that much attention to Sammy's looks. That was of course until this happened....
I still remember my reaction when I saw....that. After I managed to pick up my jaw off the floor, I exclaimed loudly 'THAT was under all those clothes?" Forget what John whispered to Dean in In My Time of Dying. Jared's muscles were the best kept secret of the entire series.
Now...and this pains me to admit it, but after I did recover from seeing those bulging muscles and cursing that blasted towel, I went back to my Dean love. Though I could never deny that Sammy's smile is absolutely gorgeous. When he smiles, you cannot NOT smile.
But he was still that little brother who I felt extremely protective of (I never could understand why fandom hated him that much in season 1, but that's a whole other story).
And even as season 2 started and Sam was growing up in front of us, taking charge when Dean was grieving, being Sam and getting angry and wanting revenge just like he did after Jessica's death, I proudly considered myself bi-bro. I told myself and everybody else that I loved both brothers equally. Though I mostly drooled over Dean. What can I say?
And then one day they aired Hunted. Yes, I know, most of fandom did not like this episode. I'll admit that I did. But that's not the point...This scene changed it all for me... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lOu4Ikzu3m4
Somewhere between Ava's freaking out and Sammy not even batting an eye about his impending death by being blown into pieces, I realized that I could not take my eyes away from him.
And then there was the fight scene with Gordon (I was only able to find this one - the Sam vs Gordon scene starts at 2:15 minute mark http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8WW2NRa0zM ) and the growly 'Put it down now'
and from that point on, I spent most of the time watching the show and trying to figure out which brother was hotter, lol. What? I totally watch for the plot. lol. :)
But I was still absolutely 100% bi-bro. Why should I choose when I could have both, right? (well, neither really but you get the point). But Sam and Dean were still Sam and Dean, even though they had a lot more to deal with now and were a bit more battered and bruised. Dean was still the overprotective older brother and Sam was still refusing to give up, still out for revenge, trying to find YED and help as many people as possible on the way. Until.... THIS
Finally that episode proved to the entire world what the rest of us already knew - Jared is one incredibly talented actor.
It also proved something else to me - I was slowly turning into a SamGirl. I fought it. I still loved Dean with all my heart. Both boys kept breaking my heart into million pieces in one episode and kicking major ass in another.
And then the bulging muscles struck again and I just could not resist...
I honestly did not even notice Dean until the very last scene in the episode. I was too blinded by...
And then both Sam and Dean once again shattered my heart into bizilliion pieces. But when I put those pieces back together there was one thing for certain - I was now a proud Sam!Girl. Even though I denied it. I denied it through the rest of season 2. I even tried to deny it as season 3 began, but it was a difficult task at that point. Dean was being a...what's the world I'm looking for here...uhm.....difficult? And Sammy was desperate to find some way to get Dean out of his deal while also dealing with the fact that not only did he die, he also had demon blood in him and apparently he was the anti-Christ? And oh, yeah, his brother was going to die in a year and go to hell. So, as season 3 progressed, I stopped fighting it. And I proudly announced to all the world that I was a Sam!Girl!!!
Yes, Sam has changed dramatically over the last 4 years. The innocence we saw in the pilot is long gone. The things he'd seen, the things he'd been through, losing Dean the way he did - he's changed and the old Sam is never coming back. But he's still, a 100% our Sam. Even with demon blood (we will not mention how he uhm gets that) and making choices that some might consider evil and going darkside and all that... he is absolutely still Sam.
He loves his brother more than anything else in the world. Everything he's doing is for Dean and because of Dean. He's trying to protect Dean, trying to take the burden of saving the world off his brother's shoulders. He knows what he's doing is wrong. He knows that he's sacrificing himself in order to stop Lilith. But it's worth it to him. Because it means that there's a chance that he could save Dean's life. He IS a Winchester after all and he's doing exactly what Winchesters do best - sacrifice himself for another Winchester.
I've also mentioned it to a few of you, there are a lot of things I'm not very happy with Kripke about that are happening this season. One thing I will absolutely give him credit for is the fact that Sam had stayed consistent. Like I said, Sam of season 4 is absolutely still SAM. I see it in everything he does. Just like Sam in Wendigo who was angry and wanted nothing but revenge, Sam of season 4 is exactly the same. He's angry with Lilith (who could blame him, really). And revenge's been the only force driving him during those 4 months that Dean was in hell. It probably was the only thing that kept him alive and stopped him from standing on the corner and begging anybody to put him out of his misery back then. Many have commented on it, but Sam is absolutely just like John, only more bad ass. Though I really do hope that in the end Sam doesn't end up like John.
In conclusion, why I am a Sam!Girl? Because Sam is scary smart. He's sharp. He'll kick your ass, with or without psychic powers. He comes up with plans to get them out of sticky situations. He's a total geek who can recite Latin without needing to look at the book once. He's knows facts and lore and loves research. He thinks before he acts. He's not scared of anything (except losing Dean). He stays absolutely cool when faced with unexpected (like Lilith's sexual advances). He's so totally bad ass. He'll do anything and everything for his brother.
Oh, and did I mention he's totally hot? :p
