Good Morning all
your prolly wondering what the fuck im doin up at this time and well its because I stayed at jesses but hes already at work-- he had to be there by 6 and im not workin till 10 so i stayed sleeping his parents are in CT for the weekend so right now im here alone Anng just left for work and im leavin in like 5 minutes. I just decided to update before i left.
I'm kinda sad at the moment. But not entirely sad, I had an awesome summer with good friends and good memories to look back on, I just wish it didn't fly by so fast. Ever since I graduted highschool 2 yrs ago everythings been flying by, If I was in college I woulda been a junior this year?! so weird! Thats means by atleast next summer I need to find out what i'm doing with my life along with everyone else my age, I can't just sit around anymore and wait for things to happen, I need to make them happen. I had my review this week and Linda told me she'd really like to see me step up and be a team captain, but I dunno I just keep scaring myself because I know I'll mess up a thousand times and Im not good with with math and if I have to help somneone w. a rain check I'll freak out if it has to do with math. I know I should just grow up and stop scaring myself out of every little thing its just hard for me. But I know if I dont take the oppurtunity now I might never get it again. But yeah moving on this week has kinda been an eye opener for me a lot. I had to go to the hospital on thursday because i broke out with this weird rash all over my body and it just got worse day by day..and of course the doctors couldnt figure out wat it is so they just told me to take benadryl and some steriod shit that I cant even pronounce and it tastes fuckin disgusting I almost puke haha..so we'll see where that goes, but yea I was just so scared to go to the hostpital by myself wich your really not supposed to do anyways but I just know I need to start doin more things by myself and for myself. I wanna start excerising more instead of complaining im fat, I want to find a second job or one that pays better if I dont wanna be a team captian. I just wanna actually 100% work on myself because as jesses mom told me this week "if you dont work on yourself, no one else will". (shes the one that brought me to the hospital) -- I felt bad because she had things to do. It made me angry because thats something my own mom should have been doing, taking time out of her schedule to help me, but that will never come true so im thankful Karen was there for me. & Thanks to jesse for the 3rd time for my nice fluffy teddy bear! :) I dunno I guess its time to go home. Thanks for listening anyways
leave me comments I havent gotten any in a while....
Love Me...
I'm kinda sad at the moment. But not entirely sad, I had an awesome summer with good friends and good memories to look back on, I just wish it didn't fly by so fast. Ever since I graduted highschool 2 yrs ago everythings been flying by, If I was in college I woulda been a junior this year?! so weird! Thats means by atleast next summer I need to find out what i'm doing with my life along with everyone else my age, I can't just sit around anymore and wait for things to happen, I need to make them happen. I had my review this week and Linda told me she'd really like to see me step up and be a team captain, but I dunno I just keep scaring myself because I know I'll mess up a thousand times and Im not good with with math and if I have to help somneone w. a rain check I'll freak out if it has to do with math. I know I should just grow up and stop scaring myself out of every little thing its just hard for me. But I know if I dont take the oppurtunity now I might never get it again. But yeah moving on this week has kinda been an eye opener for me a lot. I had to go to the hospital on thursday because i broke out with this weird rash all over my body and it just got worse day by day..and of course the doctors couldnt figure out wat it is so they just told me to take benadryl and some steriod shit that I cant even pronounce and it tastes fuckin disgusting I almost puke haha..so we'll see where that goes, but yea I was just so scared to go to the hostpital by myself wich your really not supposed to do anyways but I just know I need to start doin more things by myself and for myself. I wanna start excerising more instead of complaining im fat, I want to find a second job or one that pays better if I dont wanna be a team captian. I just wanna actually 100% work on myself because as jesses mom told me this week "if you dont work on yourself, no one else will". (shes the one that brought me to the hospital) -- I felt bad because she had things to do. It made me angry because thats something my own mom should have been doing, taking time out of her schedule to help me, but that will never come true so im thankful Karen was there for me. & Thanks to jesse for the 3rd time for my nice fluffy teddy bear! :) I dunno I guess its time to go home. Thanks for listening anyways
leave me comments I havent gotten any in a while....
Love Me...