Independent

[irishgreeneyes]

Today i was only at school for one hour. I suddenly just didnt feel good. i mean i kno theres a stomach flu going around but...i dont think that i was just physically sick. i think i got emotionally sick also. Ive been thinking and predicting too much lately. Things that i want to happen in the future...things that are bothering me now at the present time. just too much is happening at once. I guess i am happy. i mean theres nothing i should really be depressed about. i have a pretty good life, good friends, decent family, good job, good self confidence and so on. its not like i nnneeed anything right now. just i guess something is missing and i am terribly trying to make everyyything perfect. as hard as i try to figure out how i can please my self i just cant seem to come to a conclusion. i am the kind of person that usually gets what they want if they work at it. and if i want something i will stop at nothing to get it. it has worked in the past it works still now. just i guess i am not trying as hard as i need too, to truly get what i want right now. I believe if it is meant to happen it will occur. i just have to sit back and enjoy all the positives i have going for me right now. I am not insecure i do not need a guy every second to make me feel good about my self. i am not that kind of girl, i mean sure i love to flaunt my positives and try and get past my negatives but im not going to pretend to be with someone when they arent exzactly what i want. noone understands that. i am all about perfection and connection. its been out there i have succeeded in that. and trust me i had the time of my life. in the end it ended up that it wasnt what i truly wanted. i turned into a bitch, thats fine, that was my wakeup call of yea-this isnt him. this is not the guy. I am not worried its not like it will never happen because i know it will happen again. and i kno it will happen soon. Ive had my break now i have officially moved on and left an ever lasting impression that i know will never leave and the memories will last forever. thats all that i needed to do. now a new fresh start and i already know what direction i am determined in taking over.
so here goes nothing...............
-yea this one was mostly just for me, i dont kno if anyone will understand it except about 3 people. so if u dont understand it please move on and dont question because it is personal and i dont like discussing it...caz the next thing you kno it will be number one gossip story in the school and then the bitches will come bitchen about me.....please ive had enough of that drama already this year.